2008 The Crack-Addicted Professors are All Dyslexic
posted by on September 17 at 22:59 PM
Here’s a little zinger to complement your slight-uptick-in-Obama-poll-numbers-based good feelings: George Saunders on Sarah Palin:
Now, let’s talk about slogans. Ours is: Country First. Think about it. When you think of what should come first, what does? Us ourselves? No. That would be selfish. Our personal families? Selfish. God? God is good, I love Him, but, as our slogan suggests, no, sorry, God, You are not First. No, you don’t, Lord! How about: the common good of all mankind! Is that First? Don’t make me laugh with your weak blinking! No! Mercy is not First and wisdom is not First and love is super but way near the back, and ditto with patience and discernment and compassion and all that happy crap, they are all back behind Country, in the back of my S.U.V., which— Here is an example! Say I am about to run over a nun or orphan, or an orphan who grew up to become a nun—which I admire that, that is cool, good bootstrapping there, Sister—but then God or whomever goes, “It is My will that you hit that orphaned nun, do not ask Me why, don’t you dare, and I say unto thee, if you do not hit that nun, via a skillful swerve, your Country is going to suffer, and don’t ask Me how, specifically, as I have not decided that yet!” Well, I am going to do my best to get that nun in one felt swope, because, at the Convention, at which my Vice-Presidential candidate kicked mucho butt, what did the signs there say? Did they say “Orphaned Nuns First” and then there is a picture of a sad little nun with a hobo pack?Not in my purview.
The rest is even better.
via Gruber
Barry O -- Tonya Harding's Doppelganger:
http://www.blog.newsweek.com/blogs/stumper/archive/2008/09/15/wolffe-obama-pulls-a-harding-tonya-that-is.aspx
"Tonya Harding, meet Barack Obama. Over the last few days, Team Obama has released several new ads directed against the former lobbyists who now take leading positions in the McCain campaign. A third, released on Monday, accuses him of running a dishonorable, deceptive and dishonest campaign, citing several recent media headlines that find McCain ads are all three."
When even terrorist-supporter Karl Marx Rove says that McCain has gone too far, you know that the cactus-flavored kool-aid in the McCain camp is causing a severe "mental recession" ...
Time for the War Crimes trials.
When is Tina C going to unleash? "Putting the "O" back in 'country.'"
That. Was. AWESOME!!!!
Saunders. Yes.
Thank you.
Will: We will see War Crimes Trials about 30 minutes after the Financial Crimes Trials of all the assholes selling nothing-based-derivative paper to each other, so they could repackage it to one more level of indirection, and so on. Each step with massive immediate cash rake-off for these Masters-of-the-Universe fuckers. You wanna know where all the money went? It's pretty goddamn obvious.
My favorite sentence:
All week I've been fighting the urge to end all my sentences with "due to I killed a man."
"Jake Blues almost killed a man."
--Jake Blues, The Blues Brothers.
Oh man, I hope he has some choice senior moments like this during the debates.
George S. is the best.
FELL SWOOP, not "felt swope". jesus christ on a donkey.
i love his grammar! take that, high school!
@10 - Umm.. I think you missed the point.
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