2008
“Tell us about the ‘golden turd.’”
Just spent a tense half an hour with the Secret Service after they found my notebook, which I’d stupidly left in the bathroom in the Xcel Center.
After realizing the notebook was gone, I retraced my steps and found two guys with suits and earpieces were standing near the bathroom, perusing it.
“Thanks for finding my notebook,” I said.
“Some people are coming up here to ask you some questions,” they said.
Three more people with suits and earpieces showed up and read every page—notes from protests, speeches, interviews, and some art events back in Seattle—and asked lots of questions in eerily flat voices:
“Tell me about the ‘golden turd.” (That was from Smoke Farm.) “What’s this address 627 Smith?” (A community center, raided a few days ago.) “What’s all this about pepper spray?” (Well, officer… )
And so on. They eventually let me go, declined to take a photograph with me, and cracked a smile: “Write nice things about us. We were pleasant, right?”
They were.
Comments (18)
OH MY GAWD! Lemme GUESSS here, they were ALL MEN!! OMFG!!
Posted by ERICA C. BARNETT'S #1 FAN | September 4, 2008 2:23 PMActually, one of them was a woman.
Posted by Brendan Kiley | September 4, 2008 2:36 PMyou're everywhere I want to be.
Posted by paulus | September 4, 2008 2:37 PMJhhhEAH WELL...what kind of suit?
Posted by ERICA C. BARNETT'S #1 FAN | September 4, 2008 2:42 PMdamnit brendan, quit trying so hard to get arrested. they're going to ship you to cuba.
Posted by thickturd | September 4, 2008 2:43 PMhmmm... wonder what list you are now on... is being questioned by the Secret Service in a men's room one of the qualification for getting on the "person of interest" or the "do not fly" list.
I'd get to the airport just a tad bit earlier than you were planning if I were you. (insert emoticon smile here)
Posted by Phenics | September 4, 2008 2:45 PMWhen John McCain is crushed onstage by a 10-ton golden turd, delivered to the convention from 627 Smith Street, you're gonna find yourself in serious, serious trouble, Brendan.
Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 4, 2008 2:47 PM@7. I don't actually LOL much, but damn. Nice work, son.
Posted by Julie in Chicago | September 4, 2008 2:49 PM#6, I think "insert emoticon smile here" could be accomplished by just typing ":)"
#8, NapoleonXIV is a regular LOL factory. The dude needs a blog or something.
Posted by w7ngman | September 4, 2008 2:53 PMThe first rule about golden turd is that you don't talk about golden turd.
Posted by Brad Shitt | September 4, 2008 3:00 PMDid they take a liking to your wide stance?
And perhaps are those complimets they were fishing for ...
Posted by formerly OR Matt | September 4, 2008 3:09 PMThey cracked a smile? I thought they weren't permitted to display feelings of an almost human nature.
This will not do!!
(apologies to Pink Floyd)
Posted by Mike in MO | September 4, 2008 3:10 PMw7ngman: emoticons have a time and place. My writing has never been accused of brevity and now is not the time nor the place for me to start. well, ok, now is the time then... ;P
Posted by Phenics | September 4, 2008 3:29 PM:)
Posted by w7ngman | September 4, 2008 3:46 PMBut the big question is ... were they hot?
The Secret Service in Seattle women usually were.
And probably the guys, but then they were just tall and guys so I don't really notice that detail about them.
Posted by Will in Seattle | September 4, 2008 3:50 PMJust let us know if we need to start a "Brendan Kiley Legal Defense Fund." Or, perhaps we'll know when you mysteriously don't arrive back in Seattle...
Posted by PopTart | September 4, 2008 4:01 PMBut, can you polish a golden turd?
Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me | September 4, 2008 4:05 PMWith the economy in the crapper, and the dollar underwater I am investing in GoldenTurds.
#7 Genius.
Posted by drawmark | September 4, 2008 4:43 PMComments Closed
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