2008 “Tell us about the ‘golden turd.’”
posted by on September 4 at 14:15 PM
Just spent a tense half an hour with the Secret Service after they found my notebook, which I’d stupidly left in the bathroom in the Xcel Center.
After realizing the notebook was gone, I retraced my steps and found two guys with suits and earpieces were standing near the bathroom, perusing it.
“Thanks for finding my notebook,” I said.
“Some people are coming up here to ask you some questions,” they said.
Three more people with suits and earpieces showed up and read every page—notes from protests, speeches, interviews, and some art events back in Seattle—and asked lots of questions in eerily flat voices:
“Tell me about the ‘golden turd.” (That was from Smoke Farm.) “What’s this address 627 Smith?” (A community center, raided a few days ago.) “What’s all this about pepper spray?” (Well, officer… )
And so on. They eventually let me go, declined to take a photograph with me, and cracked a smile: “Write nice things about us. We were pleasant, right?”
They were.
OH MY GAWD! Lemme GUESSS here, they were ALL MEN!! OMFG!!
Actually, one of them was a woman.
you're everywhere I want to be.
JhhhEAH WELL...what kind of suit?
damnit brendan, quit trying so hard to get arrested. they're going to ship you to cuba.
hmmm... wonder what list you are now on... is being questioned by the Secret Service in a men's room one of the qualification for getting on the "person of interest" or the "do not fly" list.
I'd get to the airport just a tad bit earlier than you were planning if I were you. (insert emoticon smile here)
When John McCain is crushed onstage by a 10-ton golden turd, delivered to the convention from 627 Smith Street, you're gonna find yourself in serious, serious trouble, Brendan.
@7. I don't actually LOL much, but damn. Nice work, son.
#6, I think "insert emoticon smile here" could be accomplished by just typing ":)"
#8, NapoleonXIV is a regular LOL factory. The dude needs a blog or something.
The first rule about golden turd is that you don't talk about golden turd.
Did they take a liking to your wide stance?
And perhaps are those complimets they were fishing for ...
They cracked a smile? I thought they weren't permitted to display feelings of an almost human nature.
This will not do!!
(apologies to Pink Floyd)
w7ngman: emoticons have a time and place. My writing has never been accused of brevity and now is not the time nor the place for me to start. well, ok, now is the time then... ;P
:)
But the big question is ... were they hot?
The Secret Service in Seattle women usually were.
And probably the guys, but then they were just tall and guys so I don't really notice that detail about them.
Just let us know if we need to start a "Brendan Kiley Legal Defense Fund." Or, perhaps we'll know when you mysteriously don't arrive back in Seattle...
But, can you polish a golden turd?
With the economy in the crapper, and the dollar underwater I am investing in GoldenTurds.
#7 Genius.
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