Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by September 29 at 14:10 PMon
I’m 21, good looking, sexually active and single woman. I have never had a boyfriend but I have many guy friends who tell me that I’m great. A friend called me an emotional virgin the other day and I’m really starting to be troubled by that. Is it that men don’t want to date me or is my lack of putting up with bullshit getting me into trouble? What can I be doing to make myself appear/be more emotionally available? I fear that maybe it’s just as simple as the vibes I’m putting off.
Hm. You don’t give me much to work with here, JN. For instance, it would help to have an example or two of the kind of bullshit you’ve found yourself incapable of putting up with. Some bullshit is intolerable, of course, and everyone has deal breakers. But there’s no such thing as a bullshit-free relationship. A long-term relationship is, at its core, two people struggling to put up with each other’s bullshit—day-in, day-out, year after year—in exchange for things intangible (love) and tangible (sex).
It comes down to this in the end, JN: If you can’t put up with someone else’s bullshit, JN, why on earth would they put up with yours?