Media
One Heartbeat Away…
From going absolutely bat-shit crazy if I hear or read another person refer to a vice president as “one heartbeat away” from the presidency. We get it, if the president’s heart stops—like if he actually fucking dies—the VP becomes president. But can we please stop using this hackneyed linguistic turd?
Comments (42)
Seriously, people's hearts skip beats all the time. Generally your heart needs to stop for at least 4 minutes before you can't be revived w/o significant brain death. At 60 bpm it's more like 240 heart beats away.
Posted by JK | September 4, 2008 4:06 PMYou're right. We should be more creative, like for McCain, "one rage induced stroke away."
Posted by Gitai | September 4, 2008 4:07 PMThank you for writing this.. I've been thinking this for a couple of days and glad to see it's out there.
Posted by BeejShan | September 4, 2008 4:09 PMActually, there'd have to be an intervening swearing-in ceremony somewhere.
Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 4, 2008 4:09 PMYou mean like this?
Posted by flamingbanjo | September 4, 2008 4:13 PMI hate "she hit it out of the ballpark" even more
Posted by twee | September 4, 2008 4:14 PMGoing forward the phrase is only a help to Obama. We cannot afford to let John McCain's age continue to be the third rail of this election season. At the end of the day it is what it is.
Posted by karst | September 4, 2008 4:14 PMhow about "one sniper shot away" or "one embolism away." but these do not make for pithy sound bites.
Posted by ellarosa | September 4, 2008 4:15 PMmaybe as soon as someone on this site starts bashing the obama campaign a little, they'll stop using that.
I bet there is more going on in the world besides our election and the love affair that everyone has with complaining about things that don't truly make a difference in your day to day life.
Posted by sir jorge | September 4, 2008 4:16 PMAccording to current IRS actuarial tables she's got about a 9.3% chance of serving. That's a little more than a heartbeat (1% tops) and a little less than the "10% chance of change."
Posted by ben | September 4, 2008 4:16 PMFor McCain I like "one erection away".
Posted by DOUG. | September 4, 2008 4:19 PM"one melanoma recurrence away" has a nice ring to it.
Posted by brandon | September 4, 2008 4:19 PMone old-man-falling-down-precipitously-icy-stairs away
Posted by Dan | September 4, 2008 4:26 PMHaving said that, i'd say that there are also other annoying little phrases that have been more than played out.
That said, I'd also say, that having said that, I think there is absolutely NO function in the phrase "having said that" unless one wants to be redundant yet sound superficially professorial.
Having said that, I'd also like to say, go fuck yourself if you use this phrase again.
Posted by patrick | September 4, 2008 4:29 PM"A heartbeat away" would be about 0.66 seconds, and that's clearly wrong.
Posted by w7ngman | September 4, 2008 4:33 PM
Posted by John Bailo | September 4, 2008 4:38 PMThe VP is one Critical Mass mob riot away from the...
Oh there you are John Bailo. I was beginning to think you'd given up on your quest to fit in with the cool kids in Seattle.
Posted by w7ngman | September 4, 2008 4:43 PM@17: Is this where "cool kids" hang out?
On a SLOG bulletin board that seems mostly to cater to infantile adults with no self-awareness?
Posted by John Bailo | September 4, 2008 4:47 PMI'VE GOT IT!
John Bailo is an anagram for H. Birch Steen!
Posted by michael strangeways | September 4, 2008 4:49 PMInfantile adults with no self-awareness? Like, uh, you?
#19, sadly, John Bailo is all too real.
Posted by w7ngman | September 4, 2008 4:52 PM#19
John Bailo is an anagram for Hobo N' Jail (my NYT moniker).
Posted by John Bailo | September 4, 2008 4:54 PMHow about "one maligant melanoma away"
some alliteration there for ya.
Posted by Matthew | September 4, 2008 5:01 PMYour hatred for the phrase must explain why it's misspelled in the header. ;-)
I'm all for changing it to "one pretzel-choke away," or "one Viagra overdose away."
Posted by Geni | September 4, 2008 5:03 PM@ 23) Wow, I'm stupid. Thank you. It's all fixed now.
Posted by Dominic Holden | September 4, 2008 5:07 PMCivility? After Labor Day in and Election Year?
Posted by Phenics | September 4, 2008 5:16 PMI get it too. At least a pause in the trigger words, there are some long weeks ahead to the final recount.
I agree. This stupid and way-overused expression fills me with rage.
Posted by Greg | September 4, 2008 5:23 PMHEY KIDS: for your back-to-school paper funtime project; compare and contrast how the media uses "black" and "woman" and "old", trigger words for some, during this season's reporting cycle. For extra points, see often "man" or "white" are being used. Be ready to explain.
Posted by The Professor in the Peanut Gallery | September 4, 2008 5:25 PMWell, I say, chappie, how about having Prince Charles a heart beat away from the throne as we do? Quite an alarming prospect. With old horse-face as the Queen. By George!
Baron Sir Humpherey J. Wirthington, BS, OBE, BfD
Posted by International Association of Satirists | September 4, 2008 5:30 PMCommander, North American Division
International Association of Satirists
HATE this phrase. Thanx Dom.
I like "One sniper shot" but that's too harsh for everyday. Plus it's true of anyone. Same for "heartbeat". That's why "One erection away" is effing hilarious AND effective. Its something that just might make people think...
Posted by darvin jones | September 4, 2008 5:44 PM"Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough for sexual activity." Got that, Cindy? No BJs for your ex-POW until election day if you want a shot at being First Chick.
Posted by Cornichon | September 4, 2008 5:55 PMPalin look like Peggy Hill.
Posted by Khan Souphanousinphone | September 4, 2008 6:22 PMwell no. 28 bests us all.
nos. 1, 3, 7, 8, 15, 20, 22 and 31 -- particularly banal. And predictable.
Posted by PC | September 4, 2008 6:24 PMBut with better wardrobe.
Posted by Khan Souphanousinphone | September 4, 2008 6:26 PMPalin is only attractive by comparison to GOPer women like "Crazy Eyes" Laura Bush, or that hideous crone, Lynne Cheney - buck-toothed Condi, and mummified Cindy McCain.
Posted by eliza | September 4, 2008 6:27 PMGOP people are ugly inside and out.
You people disgust me.
Posted by Chalupa Alcatraz-Bailo | September 4, 2008 6:31 PMWhat that you say? Not PC, not to notice cheap, republican trick? Peggy Hill: community activist; fight city council, fight for worker's rights, fight for immigrants, many fights. Compare to each is honor and very good. Very funny show. Why banal? Palin look like community activist is bad to PC person?
Posted by Khan Souphanousinphone | September 4, 2008 6:39 PMIts no more annoying than bat-shit crazy, which seems to be the favorite over-used phrase of the slog.
Posted by seriously | September 4, 2008 7:29 PMHeartbeat away has indeed jumped the shark out of the ballpark.
Just sayin'.
Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 4, 2008 10:56 PMShouldn't it be zero heartbeats away?
Posted by idaho | September 4, 2008 11:21 PMA heartbeat from a daughter having a puppy. I hope its a mixed breed and not just another pit bull with bad lipstick! Abstonance only birth control works! Just ask Palil! And who's the old guy hiding behind her? Is that a war hero?
Posted by Robert | September 6, 2008 7:05 PMA heartbeat from a daughter having a puppy. I hope its a mixed breed and not just another pit bull with bad lipstick! Abstonance only birth control works! Just ask Palil! And who's the old guy hiding behind her? Is that a war hero?
Posted by Robert | September 6, 2008 7:14 PMA heartbeat from a daughter having a puppy. I hope its a mixed breed and not just another pit bull with bad lipstick! Abstonance only birth control works! Just ask Palil! And who's the old guy hiding behind her? Is that a war hero?
Posted by Robert | September 6, 2008 7:20 PMComments Closed
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