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I Am Proud of My Score

It’s important to know this:

I could survive for 1 minute, 16 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Comments (36)

1

Jesus, is there anything you won't post? Do you find it impossible to restrain yourself? Your name should be Paul "Relentless".

Posted by Charlotte | September 18, 2008 6:09 PM
2

I only got 1 minute and 3 seconds.

@1, Lighten up. He can post what he wants, you don't have to read it.

Posted by Leslie N. | September 18, 2008 6:15 PM
3

Sadly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, I would only last 38 seconds.

@1 Some of us like Paul's posts. Well, except for that absolutely disgusting one from earlier today which made me barf a little...

Posted by PopTart | September 18, 2008 6:20 PM
4

Paul, I would only survive 35 seconds, and I refuse to accept that you are more manly than me.

Posted by Ivan Cockrum | September 18, 2008 6:23 PM
5

28 seconds.

Posted by yucca flower | September 18, 2008 6:26 PM
6

One minute, 9 seconds.

Posted by it'smarkmitchell | September 18, 2008 6:42 PM
7

1 minute 54 seconds

Posted by whatwhat | September 18, 2008 6:49 PM
8

I love how you guys just wank off every Thursday.

Posted by w7ngman | September 18, 2008 7:03 PM
9

Sucka!

I could survive for 1 minute, 32 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Posted by Sam | September 18, 2008 7:19 PM
10

19 seconds...and I suspect that's being generous.

Posted by jenks | September 18, 2008 7:32 PM
11

1.09

guess that's like average

Posted by Simon | September 18, 2008 7:35 PM
12

They didn't ask if I know any soothing velociraptor lullabies.

Posted by Uncle Vinny | September 18, 2008 7:45 PM
13

LOL -- I beat you by 3 seconds. During which time, I'd hope he got full on you and was no longer interested in me! SCORE!!!

Posted by Al | September 18, 2008 7:58 PM
14

I survived one minute. Why are raptors so damned crabby?

Posted by Scott in Chi-Town | September 18, 2008 8:26 PM
15

44 seconds. Oy. True story: I first read Jurassic Park when I was nine or ten, and I had to sleep with the lights on for a few nights because ...I guess I thought the raptors would get me.

Posted by Darcy | September 18, 2008 8:34 PM
16

Paul can you Please explain this post?
Thank you.

Posted by Scott Dow | September 18, 2008 8:54 PM
17

1 min 19 sec

Posted by cracked | September 18, 2008 8:59 PM
18

1 minute, 13 seconds

Posted by monkey | September 18, 2008 9:24 PM
19

Paul, I apologize for the commenters who are non-fun-loving idiots.

Posted by Sam | September 18, 2008 9:35 PM
20

1 minute 28 seconds. Long enough to consider praying and dismissing the thought and still enough time to ponder the superiority of velociraptor genes, get pissed and write last message in blood on floor.

Posted by chas Redmond | September 18, 2008 9:59 PM
21

I got different scores depending on if the velociraptor was on top or on bottom.

Man, they are such drama queens ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | September 18, 2008 10:05 PM
22

1:16. Paul Constant, were you a middle school or high school wrestler?

Posted by jon c | September 18, 2008 10:11 PM
23

I strode out to the velociraptor and there did battle him.

For 1 minute 16 seconds.

@1, please know that Constant is my constant, and if you smite him, thou smitest me. And I'll kick your ass.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | September 18, 2008 10:15 PM
24

Dang, I thought it was going to be a video game with blood, amputations & death. Oh well.

54 seconds.

Posted by Brucie | September 18, 2008 10:47 PM
25

1 minute, 8 seconds. Do I live longer or shorter because I am short?

Posted by Mrs. Jarvie | September 18, 2008 10:54 PM
26

I lasted a full minute, but that was because I took the bottom bunk. I ALWAYS had the bottom bunk when I was a kid, so, force of habit, you know.

Not bad for an old dude; probably as good as that obnoxious Aussie big-game hunter would have done, although disappointingly, probably not anywhere near as well as Jeff Goldblum.

Posted by COMTE | September 18, 2008 10:58 PM
27

47 seconds, which is pretty good considering Jurassic Park still scares me. And I didn't lie-- the raptor bites off my arm, I'll scream and cry like a giant sissy.

Posted by Jessica | September 18, 2008 11:30 PM
28

Buck twenty-eight

Posted by bfelk | September 18, 2008 11:32 PM
29

I got 1.19! yay! Dragging my ass out of bed for kick boxing twice a week will be worth something when I find myself chained to a bed with a velociraptor!

Posted by nicole | September 19, 2008 6:25 AM
30

38 seconds.

Posted by Gloria | September 19, 2008 7:13 AM
31

38 measly seconds, which I imagine would be spent crying and willing myself to hurry up and die already.

This is the funniest damn thing I've ever seen. Thanx for this.

Posted by a.m. | September 19, 2008 8:24 AM
32

1 min 32 seconds..

Posted by justin | September 19, 2008 8:40 AM
33

57 seconds? That's it? Even after I said I have fought a wild animal before (my cat totally counts, he's a complete asshole)? I must've made the wrong choice with picking the top bunk...


Posted by Megan Seling | September 19, 2008 10:50 AM
34

44 seconds. It seems like the top bunk would be slightly safer to me..

Posted by sepiolida | September 19, 2008 11:11 AM
35

1 min 25 seconds! Whoo >:D

Posted by Nay | September 19, 2008 11:13 AM
36

44 seconds. I think being short takes time off. Does being on top help or hurt?

Posted by MJ | September 19, 2008 12:29 PM

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