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Friday, September 19, 2008

Celebrity I Saw Him (And Walked With Him, And Learned About Tanning From Him)

posted by on September 19 at 12:00 PM

So I was walking down Pine Street this morning, on my way to catch the train to Portland, and off in the distance I see an orange face peeking out of a white hoodie, crossing the street between Chapel and Bauhaus.

I know sightings of Blayne from Project Runway are a dime a dozen in Seattle these days, but I this was my first. I walked faster.

I caught up with him at Pike and Boren and said, “Sorry you got kicked off.”

He smiled, thanked me, and we started chit-chatting. I asked him who wins. He wouldn’t say. I asked him if Kenley is as awful in real life as she seems on the show. He said she’s actually very sweet and nice, and blamed the editing for the hatred everyone I know currently feels toward her. I asked what he’s up to next. Working on a men’s collection, maybe moving to L.A., but still working at that cafe in West Seattle in the meantime.

He was wearing fire-red sneakers, designer jeans, and a deep-diving gray v-neck under his white hoodie—which, of course, he was wearing with the hood up.

I asked Blayne where he tans in Seattle. He told me but I immediately forgot. Sorry, admiring tanorexics. He was seriously tan, though, and quite proud of it. He unzipped his hoodie, pulled at his v-neck, and showed me how dark his chest was. It was, I would say, burnt orange.

We were approaching 5th Anenue at this point, and I had to turn left. He was in the middle of telling me about the grief he gets from people who think he’s promoting cancerous behavior, and how he uses a tanning “cocktail”—something about lying under non-cancerous bulbs plus a full body spray afterward, a combination that is, if I heard right, both deeply satisfying and less carcinogenic. But I don’t know if I heard right. It was all very quick.

Someone shouted across the street, a garbled kind of shout that might have been his name, and we both turned our heads. It was not someone shouting his name. It was just some people fighting with each other.

Not a licious word passed between us, Blayne haters. It was all very pleasant. We shook hands, and then we walked in different directions.

He was headed to pick up his car. I wondered—based on the sleep in his eyes, the coffee in his right hand, and the fact that he was early-morning walking to get to some far-away place where he’d left his car last night—whether I had just had the distinct honor of sharing with this Project Runway also-ran a few moments of a walk of shame.

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Posted by Non | September 19, 2008 11:56 AM

He has always been pleasant when making me coffee.

Posted by kerri harrop | September 19, 2008 12:01 PM

that's like stalker-level detail there, eli.

Posted by yikes | September 19, 2008 12:01 PM

Wow. And all the poor guy ever did to you was be on TV?

Posted by whatevernevermind | September 19, 2008 12:06 PM

That's some serious speculation Eli. You should know better.

Posted by Jeff | September 19, 2008 12:16 PM

i'm obsessssssssed with blayne. if he moves to LA i'll cry!

also, if he starts designing hoodies with oversized hoods, i'll buy a trillion of them.

Posted by jrrrl | September 19, 2008 12:17 PM

That's a sweet post. I kinda love Blayne.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | September 19, 2008 12:18 PM

Project Runway has been getting suckier ever since Season 2 ended.

Top Chef is where it is at and they are filming the 5th season in New York!!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | September 19, 2008 12:19 PM

If he has children, I hope he has the good sense to breed with a black person so he won't pass on his apparently undesirable white skin.

Posted by Cat in Chicago | September 19, 2008 12:28 PM

Blayne's a little swishy for my tastes, but I think he's cute. My nickname for him is Agent Orange.

Posted by Dominic Holden | September 19, 2008 12:28 PM

I think we all know the walk of shame isn't THAT shameful- at least it means one is getting laid! (so no need to pick on Eli for posting it)

Posted by hillpagan | September 19, 2008 12:36 PM

I concur with 11. Walking wearily though the city and not having gotten laid is worse.

Posted by Dominic Holden | September 19, 2008 12:42 PM

it's nice to see eli write slog fluff for a change.

Posted by Andy | September 19, 2008 12:43 PM

He really is orange. Somehow it compliments his neon attire, though. He's kind of everywhere I go lately.

Posted by Carollani | September 19, 2008 12:47 PM

I had a celebrity sighting last night!!

but it was way lamer; Michael Medved lurking around the Dicks on Lower Queen Anne...or, he might have just been coming from seeing something liberal and foul at the Uptown.

Posted by michael strangeways | September 19, 2008 12:52 PM

i'm almost positive blayne is straight -- can the next slogger who sees him verify?

Posted by jrrrl | September 19, 2008 12:55 PM

why does Blayne have to be boring? or use gimmicks in tanning methods used?

Posted by blahblah ave. | September 19, 2008 12:55 PM

If he was doing the swishy walk of shame down Pine I feel sorry for whom ever boy or girl (I am sure boy) he hooked up with. Can you imagine trying to get all that spray on self tanner out of your sheets and pillow. Now I have to wonder how much of the boy is orange, does he spray on in the nude? Orange peene is not.

Posted by orange you glad I did not say Blayne | September 19, 2008 1:09 PM

Blayne is the new Tom Skerritt-- Seattle's only celebrity!

Posted by Explorer | September 19, 2008 1:27 PM

I love blayne! I would love to give him a big hug and pinch his cheekies!

I hope he still talks to Ms. Leather. ;)

Posted by Original Monique | September 19, 2008 2:00 PM

My tan is natural and beautiful!

Posted by scott in chi-town | September 19, 2008 2:13 PM

I like Blayne but I think he should stick to pouring coffee. "Pooping fabric" clinched it for me.

Posted by Vince | September 19, 2008 2:55 PM


Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 19, 2008 3:02 PM

@13 Totally.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | September 19, 2008 3:17 PM

At "Shrek" the other night, I met Marvin Hamlisch, but he wasn't orange - only big. Medved is commonly spotted but never stalked. I remember what Dan said about Medved - something like 'if I didn't know better, I'd say he's pretty gay'. Eccch!

Posted by RHETT ORACLE | September 19, 2008 3:44 PM

I know Blayne but I'm not bragging about it. I'm not saying he makes me coffee all the time. I'm not saying he was gonna cut my hair for me but i got impatient and went to another person. I'm not gonna say he is the only person I've ever known on a reality show cause Willard (the token old guy) on one of those Survivors (which season? fuck if i know... but first kicked off of course) once felt me up at work. I'm not going to brag about all that stuff.... not me.

Posted by M | September 19, 2008 5:43 PM

If he is referring to the UVA-only "no burn" beds, from what I have read they may not burn you, but UVA rays are the ones responsible for wrinkles. Uh oh.

Posted by Becky | September 19, 2008 6:17 PM

Oh, when does he work? You know, just in case we happen to be in W. Seattle and want to drop by?

Posted by blaynefan | September 20, 2008 12:14 AM

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