Slog

This is just fantastic. I could’ve done without the barnyard metaphors, Dana Milbank, but otherwise, wow! Thanks for making my day. (Ten times worse than it was already.)

Ron Paul, the libertarian gadfly who launched a mass movement in his failed bid for the Republican presidential nomination, convened a third-party unity event at the National Press Club yesterday to bring Bob Barr, Ralph Nader, Cynthia McKinney and Chuck Baldwin together into one big, happy family of independent presidential candidates.

But as soon as Paul reached out to apply the Revlon to the snout, Barr went hog-wild, turning the gathering into a barnyard brawl.

“I’m very pleased that, uh, we have some special guests here,” Paul told a crowded ballroom at the press club. “Three of the candidates are here with me … and I understand Bob Barr is on his way or, uh, will be here shortly.”

Well, not exactly. Barr, the Libertarian Party candidate for president, never showed for the unity event, instead having an aide hand out notices at the door announcing that he would be making a “major campaign announcement” at a rival news conference in the same place two hours later. His major announcement: that Ron Paul could get lost.

“I’m not interested in third parties getting the most possible votes,” Barr told the cameras. “I’m interested in Bob Barr as the nominee for the Libertarian Party getting the most possible votes.” In a further insult, Barr said he would permit the vastly more popular Paul to be his vice presidential running mate.

Paul partisans were appalled. “I will be withdrawing my endorsement,” a man identifying himself as an “independent blogger” declared from the audience.

“Me, too!” called out another.

“I was gonna vote for the guy, but I think he’s about as arrogant as George Bush,” proclaimed a third.

Bob Barr is a stupid, obnoxious man. I think we knew that already.