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Monday, September 8, 2008

Bill Gates And Jerry Seinfeld Join Forces for Baffling, Shoe-Related Performance-Art Video

posted by on September 8 at 12:01 PM

First, some preliminary info from the Wall Street Journal:

Microsoft Corp., weary of being cast as a stodgy oldster by Apple Inc.’s advertising, is turning for help to Jerry Seinfeld. The software giant’s new $300 million advertising campaign, devised by a newly hired ad agency, has been closely guarded. But Mr. Seinfeld will be one of the key celebrity pitchmen, say people close to the situation. He will appear with Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates in ads and receive about $10 million for the work, they say.

The new ad effort is expected to use some variation of the slogan “Windows, Not Walls,” according to several people familiar with the matter. Those people say the point is to stress breaking down barriers that prevent people and ideas from connecting. The campaign, said to debut Sept. 4, is one of the largest in the company’s history.

And here’s the stunningly odd result.

It doesn’t make me want to buy a PC. It doesn’t even make me want to buy a churro. It just makes me itchy and sad.

RSS icon Comments

1

At least those condescending PC vs. Mac ads occasionally had some substance to them, this is just marketing saccharine.

Posted by vooodooo84 | September 8, 2008 12:14 PM
2

There's a longer two- or three-minute version of this piece, too. I saw it last month in Redmond. Not sure if it's on the internet yet, but it shows them buying the churros at the end, shows what Jerry was doing at the mall by himself, and has more banter in the shoe store. If you can find it, watch it. Bill's pretty damn funny in it, but his good lines are cut out of the one above.

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey | September 8, 2008 12:18 PM
3

Someday soon, some alternative to a Personal Computer and/or an operating system is going to take over the marketplace, and Microsoft, still successfully selling something they've been spackling over since the 80s, is going to promptly go out of business, because all the bloated company knows how to do is burn money and lots of it.

For decades, their status as a monopoly had given them money to burn, enabling what has to be the worst-run corporate structure of all time, with its redundancies and cross-purposes (the one thing they do well is crush/buy out competitors). You could fire 99% of Microsoft's workforce this afternoon with absolutely zero effect on their product line -- the whole effort is just a gigantic jobs program for middle managers otherwise unskilled in anything but holding meetings about when to meet to decide on the next meeting.

Posted by Just Sayin | September 8, 2008 12:19 PM
4

Jerry Seinfeld isn't funny ... maybe back in the day ... but not anymore.

Who's next? Dan Ackroyd? Chevy Chase?

Posted by Gordon Werner | September 8, 2008 12:19 PM
5

my, my, my...Jerry Seinfeld is certainly the first person I would turn to in an effort to appear fresh and up to date.

if it was 1992.

Posted by michael strangeways | September 8, 2008 12:21 PM
6

Um, Just Sayin', are you familiar with the concept of server software?

Posted by Fnarf | September 8, 2008 12:21 PM
7

I saw the long version this weekend on TV, but I can't for the life of me remember what channel it was on or what I was watching.

I agree, the long version is much better. sort of delightfully weird. But... still... at the end, I was like, WTF does this have to do with computers? Or Microsoft? Or their brand? And the bit about computers as cake at the end was stupid.

Posted by Julie in Chicago | September 8, 2008 12:22 PM
8

@6, is that what this ad was supposed to be selling? I thought it was leading up to a rebranding of their consumer OS line or something.

Isn't MS a distant fourth in server software market share? I admit that I don't know shit about server software; how's that?

Posted by Just Sayin | September 8, 2008 12:26 PM
9


Speaking of 90s hasbeens, maybe they can ferret David Duchovny away from the sex clinic for the next installment.

Bill: Hey David, what are you doing with your new Surface table top computer running Vista?

David [hurriedly mopping up Surface with paper towels]: N-n-n-nothing! Don't cha knock?!

Posted by John Bailo | September 8, 2008 12:26 PM
10

The schtick and dialogue are much more Kramer than Seinfeld. Seinfled was laways the observational comic and Michael Richards's Kramer did the wacky non sequiter humor. There is nothing about this that makes it seem like it will enhance Microsoft's image.

Posted by inkweary | September 8, 2008 12:31 PM
11

I heard this is just the first ad spot in a huge new campaign to introduce Microsoft's new slogan, "Thanks For Paying Attention To Us. Give Us More Money Now Or We Will Take Your Blood."

Posted by jrrrl | September 8, 2008 12:36 PM
12

The schtick and dialogue are much more Kramer than Seinfeld. Seinfled was laways the observational comic and Michael Richards's Kramer did the wacky non sequiter humor. There is nothing about this that makes it seem like it will enhance Microsoft's image.

Posted by inkweary | September 8, 2008 12:37 PM
13

saw it - liked it - Bill Gates has personality, maybe that is the point of it all

Posted by Andrew | September 8, 2008 12:47 PM
14

fnarf probably works at microsoft hence his undying love for mediocre software with over 10,000 known vulnerabilities and holes.

Posted by bobcat | September 8, 2008 12:47 PM
15

fnarf probably works at microsoft hence his undying love for mediocre software with over 10,000 known vulnerabilities and holes.

Posted by bobcat | September 8, 2008 12:54 PM
16

The ONLY thing funny in this ad is that they used Bill Gates 1977 New Mexico booking photo on his Shoe Circus Clown Club discount card. That's funny. But the rest of the ad, and the $300 million they are paying Mr. Seinfeld, pretty much cemented my decision to go with either re-built PCs or Macs in the future.

Posted by nightlifejitters | September 8, 2008 12:55 PM
17

but... I don't get it.

Posted by Mary T | September 8, 2008 12:57 PM
18

slog: always a day late and a buck short. i'm glad to have a reliable source for news i read yesterday complete with free boring commentary.

Posted by Josie | September 8, 2008 12:57 PM
19

slog: always a day late and a buck short. i'm glad to have a reliable source for news i read yesterday complete with free boring commentary.

Posted by Josie | September 8, 2008 1:01 PM
20

I must have snoozed... today's kids/twenty-somethings find Bill and Jerry to be credible pitch-men? hmmm... very interesting.

Back in my day, nothing appealed less to kids/twenty-somethings than two mega-rich 50-somthings hawking product.

Posted by Phenics | September 8, 2008 1:01 PM
21

slog: always a day late and a buck short. i'm glad to have a reliable source for news i read yesterday complete with free boring commentary.

Posted by Josie | September 8, 2008 1:02 PM
22

I work (outsourced) for MS. Our handlers sounded really excited about this ad. I now think they've got some serious problems. WTF?

Posted by wench | September 8, 2008 1:09 PM
23

Ok, what's with all the multi-posts lately? This is getting ridiculous.

Posted by wench | September 8, 2008 1:12 PM
24

The ONLY thing funny in the ad is that they used Bill Gates' 1977 New Mexico booking photo on his "Shoe Circus Clown Club" discount card. The rest of the ad was a jaw dropping thud, and it comes off much worse when you consider the $300 million they paid Mr. Seinfeld. If you're really bored, it can be seen in higher quality video on the Microsoft website.

Posted by nightlifejitters | September 8, 2008 1:12 PM
25

No, I don't work for Microsoft, and never have, even indirectly; and I'm not hugely fond of any of their software. But I'm also not hugely fond of this idiotic "Microsoft is bullshit, none of their stuff works at all, they'll be bankrupt any day now" argument that I've been hearing for 25 years. Which usually comes from Mac aficionados, who have never been particularly noted for their savvy.

Microsoft's web server software trails Apache, but the web isn't everything. When Linux comes up with a good replacement for Exchange and Active Directory, we'll talk.

Posted by Fnarf | September 8, 2008 1:13 PM
26

I used to work in a cheap U District pizza shop (dine in) and whenever Bill Gates and his wife stopped by I knew I'd get the usual big fat $2 tip.

Posted by jrrrl | September 8, 2008 1:15 PM
27

sorry, i just skipped all the comments above for lack of time, but i DID watch the whole YouTube clip and i just want to know what the hell that was all about.. would someone be kind enough to explain it real simple and concise-like for me?
thank ya in advance!

Posted by wait, what? | September 8, 2008 1:35 PM
28

Seinfeld is getting $10 million, I believe...the entire ad budget is $300 million...and one of the ads will be directed by Michel Gondry.

yeah, the booking photo WAS funny...the rest sucked. I don't see how it would encourage anyone under 40 to buy a pc.

and the mac/pc ads are brilliant, even though the pc actor is much more lovable than that greasy idiot Justin Long.

Posted by michael strangeways | September 8, 2008 1:43 PM
29

Am I the only one creeped out by Bill Gates answering a question with his ass?

Posted by What | September 8, 2008 2:04 PM
30

It's a commercial about nothing.

Posted by jack | September 8, 2008 2:47 PM
31

Yeah, I really don't get either the commercial, or why they think Jerry Seinfeld will appeal to a youth demographic. Shit, that show came out while I was in middle school and ended a decade ago.

Posted by Gitai | September 8, 2008 3:22 PM
32

Microsoft is like the GOP: it's all about personality.

@13 got it - if you like us, then forget about issues, problems, or details and just buy us. Our marketing campaign can make you smile in 30 seconds (or induce fear, in the GOP's case) so that should be enough to get you on-board. Let freedumb ring.

Posted by festivus | September 8, 2008 4:13 PM
33

I like that it's completely nonsensical, personally. But that's just me.

Posted by Abby | September 8, 2008 4:16 PM
34

I like it too. It actually gets me to watch as opposed to those jumped-the-shark Apple ads as well as most other ads which have no soul to them, only "buy our product."

Posted by brad | September 8, 2008 5:18 PM
35

I suspect this is actually a revealation of upspeakable horror and our minds are just processing it as a quirky commercial to save us from utter madness.

Posted by Zander | September 8, 2008 5:56 PM
36

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Posted by uehqxfz djkr | September 10, 2008 2:59 AM
37

I loved it. Of course, I have an entire blog dedicated to shoe-related humor and trivia.

Posted by Dave | September 13, 2008 8:04 AM
38

I loved it. Of course, I have an entire blog dedicated to shoe-related humor and trivia.

Posted by Dave | September 13, 2008 8:05 AM

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