Slog - Comments on Why Bowties Are Better

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:24:20 -0800

Just call it a tie. Or a necktie. A bow tie gets its own name because it's sensationally childish and slightly ridiculous. Some people can sport them well, but most...yeah. Just leave the cummerbund at home, please.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:35:39 -0800

Yeah, bowties are better for douchenozzles like carlson tucker. look at the people that wear bowties and try and tell me with a straight face that they are better.

Comment by brandon

brandon — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:44:27 -0800

bowtie clubs? AAAARGH!!! you may as well hang a sign around your neck that says "i'm a giant fucking dickface. please punch me." the only way to pull it off is if you're wearing a searsucker suit and playing the banjo. otherwise, you're a twat.

Comment by Will in Seattle

Will in Seattle — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:47:12 -0800

I used to do the Indian collar (you know, no tie, just the collar).

But I think the Obama crisp open dress shirt approach is way more classy than a bowtie.

Ties are for losers.

Comment by giant UW shirts are for you

giant UW shirts are for you — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 11:58:47 -0800

I agree, Will. Ties are for people who can get laid, and should.

Comment by Darcy

Darcy — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:13:42 -0800

Ugghhh. Bowties are a staple of the Southern Fratboy Douchebag Wardrobe* If I never sit in a football stadium with a bunch of those overdressed assholes again, it'll be too soon.

*See also: seersucker sportcoats, khaki shorts, Sperry top-siders.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:26:44 -0800

I'm going to go along with Bellevue Ave on this one. I have several bow ties, and would love to wear them, but they have been irreparably tainted with right-wing douche-nozzlery by the likes of Carlson Tucker and George Will. Wearing a bow tie is the equivalent of wearing a big sign that says "I don't understand why these uppity Negroes don't just go to Harvard like me instead of whining about poverty". Supercilious and entitled, and class-ridden in the same way as whites-only golf clubs.

I prefer a nice ascot, myself.

Comment by Jennifer in Chicago

Jennifer in Chicago — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:38:29 -0800

I'm afraid if a boyfriend started wearing bowties, I'd start thinking I was fucking Tucker Carlson instead. I hate that guy. Also, someone needs to introduce the word 'douchenozzle' into the American lexicon.

Comment by MyDogBen

MyDogBen — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:43:02 -0800

Bowties good.

Comment by Cato the Younger Younger

Cato the Younger Younger — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:50:29 -0800

I like bow ties even though Tucker Carlson wore them. But then I have matured enough to get beyond the junior high mentality "I can't wear something because "so and so" wears it".

Honestly, if Tucker Carlson is the reason you won't wear a bow tie you need help.

Comment by inkweary

inkweary — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:57:07 -0800

I heard David Sedaris refer to bow ties as "the Republican equivalent of an eyebrow piercing" at a Bailey Coy reading several years ago. It has always stayed with me and gives me pause when making neckware decisons.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:13:02 -0800

It isn't that tucker carlson wears em, it's that the bow-tie sends out a social signal that you're an arrogant, out of touch buffoon.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:14:50 -0800

and i also hate that fuck carlson for having a name composed of two last names. How can I or Fnarf keep them straight and not swap them willy nilly? He doesn't deserve that attention to detail or respect.

Comment by Greg

Greg — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:37:08 -0800

String ties are far superior to bow ties. Especially if you're trying to look like Mark Twain.

Comment by Will in Seattle

Will in Seattle — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:49:48 -0800

String ties are hot.

Especially on women.

Comment by 1 Timothy 5:23

1 Timothy 5:23 — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:03:52 -0800

Tucker is a dog's name. If there is a mother Tucker, she'd be a bitch. In case anyone forgot Jon Stewart's visit to Carlson's Crossfire show, do the google thing.

STEWART: How old are you?

CARLSON: Thirty-five.

STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

(LAUGHTER)

Comment by tiktok

tiktok — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:09:10 -0800

"It's the truth that you should never trust anybody who wears a bow tie. Cravat's supposed to point down to accentuate the genitals. Why'd you wanna trust somebody whose tie points out to accentuate his ears? "
--David Mamet, "State And Main"

Comment by NapoleonXIV

NapoleonXIV — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:34:32 -0800

I might feel different about them if I could figure out how to tie the fuckers.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:47:01 -0800

Down, around and through, Nap. It's not that hard. Just getting the ends the right length at first.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 14:55:27 -0800

I love the thought of Fnarf having several bowties, trying them on in the mirror and then disgustedly taking them off seconds after putting them on and yelling "FUCKING TUCKER CARLSON!"

Comment by E

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:25:16 -0800

Tie: a slip-knotted noose wound around one's neck whose ends point at the genitalia. Why on earth does anyone tolerate having to still wear these ancient remnants of British Empire old-school snobbery?

Comment by it'smarkmitchell

it'smarkmitchell — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:34:22 -0800

A regular tie is called a "four in hand". I would imagine a Prince of Wales or a Beau Brummel was involved in its invention, but I'm too lazy to Wiki it.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:50:24 -0800

@20: more like Mrs. Fnarf pointing and laughing. I've never been good at self-awareness.

IMM @22: I thought a four in hand was a knot, not the tie itself. Other knots include windsor, half windsor, etc. Is it the tie too? I would have thought "cravat" was as close to official as you'd need. Maybe I'm wrong.

Comment by Greg

Greg — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:54:43 -0800

Does anybody actually wear a full Windsor anymore? You need a pretty wide collar, right?

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:57:31 -0800

And I am indeed wrong, and should know better than to challenge It's Mark Mitchell on sartorial questions. A regular tie is called a "four in hand". Sounds like neither the Prince of Wales or Beau Brummel had anything to do with it, though; the modern style, cut on the bias, was invented by a Jesse Langdorf in New York in the 1920s. Or so says wiki.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:05:31 -0800

The full Windsor is enjoying a renewed popularity among the spivvier sort of Briton. Watch Sky Sports News and you'll see all the male announcers with fist-sized knots under their chins. More stylish to me seems to be the skinnier tie coming in -- not quite as skinny as Joel McHale on The Soup wears them, but a good inch narrower than your typical Macy's sale counter offering. Penguin came out with some dandy looking slim ties last year.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:50:05 -0800

I wear a full windsor. It simply looks better and more business like and isn't that hard to do.

Comment by Hoyt Clagwell

Hoyt Clagwell — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:02:25 -0800

One thing the necktie very specifically does is visually diminish girth. Those diverging vertical lines work very effectively to conceal a rotund belly. It's part of why they're such an essential wardrobe piece for fatass corporate executive types (or more likely, pathetic car dealership owners with aspirations in local politics).

There's only one man in a thousand who can pull off a bow tie and look good. It requires a certain gravitas, dignity and effortless masculinity. Tucker Carlson possesses none of those traits, so he looked like a goddamned schoolboy in bow ties (he's a seedy dresser anyway--his clothes are ill fitting and he always looks like a 14-year-old dressed for church).

I own a couple of bow ties, and actually know how to tie them properly. But I've never worn them. I can get away with a few fashion eccentricities, but the bow tie is just out of bounds for me.

Comment by kevin webster

kevin webster — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:43:18 -0800

a necktie is simply called a necktie. It is always great to see other bowtie wearers out there. The idea of a club sounds great in theory but when you really think about it, it dose seem kind of persumcious. What would one even do at a meeting or whatever? it's not like there would be all that muchto talk about.

Comment by outkqcw aldigyw

outkqcw aldigyw — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 23:44:46 -0800

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Comment by HuskyQuaker

HuskyQuaker — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:58:43 -0800

Full Windsor: Good.

Bow Tie: Not So Good.

Ascot: Bad

Bolo: WTF