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Thursday, August 7, 2008

There Are No Words For This Picture

posted by on August 7 at 17:07 PM

Tor’s blog, which is still awesome, links to this guide on how to give yourself real elf ears. I really hope this is an internet hoax, but I think it might not be:


Lots more pictures, including some gross ones with stitches, here.

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Sadly, I think there are people who really do this. But I'm not going to look at the pictures.

Posted by Greg | August 7, 2008 5:14 PM

Those pics look pretty fucking real.

The fact that she has to use those tape things to give her ears the proper elf shape means this was probably a very very bad idea. I'd like to see what her ears look like without it.

Posted by Trouble | August 7, 2008 5:16 PM

The great thing is, you can give yourself perfectly realistic elf ears in about 45 minutes' time using less than $10 in materials. Theatre make-up isn't that hard, really.

And then, at the end of the night, they come off -- no stitches!

(Also, I don't get why this doesn't have the 'nerd' tag...)

Posted by Cow | August 7, 2008 5:20 PM

i'm not sure how i feel about the cut n' stitch elf ears, but girls with naturally elfin ears are hott.

Posted by hobbit | August 7, 2008 6:17 PM

@2 I'm sure the tape is to keep the stress on the joined tissue to a minimum until it is fully healed.

Personally I use the latex ear caps/spirit gum/makeup method myself. But you know what, I think given a choice between elf ears or a tramp stamp tattoo, I'd probably regret the ears less than the tattoo when I'm 80.

Posted by whatever | August 7, 2008 6:30 PM

We're actually having this done for our 3 week old. If you wait too long their ears aren't soft enough to reshape and it won't look that elfin, so it's something parents need to do for their babies.

Posted by elenchos | August 7, 2008 6:41 PM

*sigh* Yes, it's SO very alt to condemn what people do to their own bodies. Keep up the good work, guys.

Posted by MaliceAlice | August 7, 2008 6:47 PM

Alt? Alt? Really? "Alt"?

I don't know if it's Alt, but it's definitely hilarious.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 6:53 PM

They are real, and no worse than the hipsters with the African coins in their ears, or split tongues, or lumps implanted under their skin, etc.

Posted by Banna | August 7, 2008 7:01 PM

Shannon Laratt covered this mod in Bizarre Magazine a few issues back. You think that's hardcore? There are people out there piercing their eyelids, and tattooing their EYEBALLS!!!

Posted by Dylan! | August 7, 2008 7:25 PM

The contours of the ear have evolved to shape the incoming sound. Part of our ability to sense where in the 360 degree spectrum a sound is originating from comes from the subtle variations in tone thus created.

Posted by flamingbanjo | August 7, 2008 8:02 PM

Fake tits are a far greater abomination then elf ears.

Posted by Sean | August 7, 2008 8:36 PM

Elf ears? Really? Now, are these people as big of dumb asses as those hipsters that put those stooopid fucking earlobe-strechy-coin crap in their ears? When those hipsters hit 30 or 40 with the droopy, goofy ear lobes and elf ears - we'll see who wins the biggest dumb ass contest.

Posted by flo | August 7, 2008 9:02 PM

@13: Droopy ears look stupid at any age, but elf ears are actually pretty cute. In fact, I kind of prefer them.

Posted by Sean | August 7, 2008 10:32 PM

P.S. It's said that elf ears actually improve your hearing, because the pointed tips more efficiently channel sound (that's why most animals have pointed ears).

Posted by Sean | August 7, 2008 10:43 PM

You know, a troop of like 30 elves could completely take over Capitol Hill. Easy. And they wouldn't have to be archers. Just armed with oaken staffs and some magic spells. Easy.

Posted by Bob | August 8, 2008 7:30 AM

One of my uncles has naturally pointy ears, little "buds" on the far end of the curve of the ears. V. funny-looking :)

Posted by Tiram | August 8, 2008 8:53 AM


You forgot to tell them to get off your lawn!

Posted by COMTE | August 8, 2008 9:22 AM

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