News The Morning News
posted by August 4 at 7:48 AMon
Just Do It: Evicted from homes near Tiananmen Square to make way for Nike store, twenty residents stage protest, get taken to unknown location.
Stoking the Bradley Effect: WSJ provokes doubt over Obama’s electability.
Right Foot: Another shoed foot—believed to be human—washes up in Clallam County, 14 miles south of Canada.
Left Foot: Obama asks for full count of Michigan and Florida delegate votes.
Lower Half: Poor favoring Obama—even hardworking, white voters prefer him by 10 percent.
Upper Crust: Kathy Hilton thinks knocking Paris was a waste of McCain’s money.
India: Stampede kills over 145, mostly women and children, after rumors of a landslide on trail to Hindu temple.
Canada: Refugees use Facebook accounts to prove they are gay, receive asylum from batshitcrazy Muslim nations.
Mount Saint Helens: Autistic boys lost in woods; search crews fear he may not respond when they call his name.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn: Dissident author on Stalin’s gulag dies of heart failure at 89.
Election Results: Ratings spike for cable news, but broadcast and network news slump.
Convection Results: Hurricane warning for Edouard, currently a storm, to hit between Louisiana and Texas—offshore oil port closed.
Blinded with Science: Firebombers target homes of scientists engaged in biomedical research using animals.
Mellongate: Christina Applegate diagnosed with breast cancer, expected to recover fully.
Short Flight: Loonie projected to dive.
Spawn: The picture worth $14 million.
Olympics kick-off week kicks off: Are the games a trap?