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Monday, August 4, 2008

The Morning News

posted by on August 4 at 7:48 AM

Just Do It: Evicted from homes near Tiananmen Square to make way for Nike store, twenty residents stage protest, get taken to unknown location.

Stoking the Bradley Effect: WSJ provokes doubt over Obama’s electability.

Right Foot: Another shoed foot—believed to be human—washes up in Clallam County, 14 miles south of Canada.

Left Foot: Obama asks for full count of Michigan and Florida delegate votes.

Lower Half: Poor favoring Obama—even hardworking, white voters prefer him by 10 percent.

Upper Crust: Kathy Hilton thinks knocking Paris was a waste of McCain’s money.

India: Stampede kills over 145, mostly women and children, after rumors of a landslide on trail to Hindu temple.

Canada: Refugees use Facebook accounts to prove they are gay, receive asylum from batshitcrazy Muslim nations.

Mount Saint Helens: Autistic boys lost in woods; search crews fear he may not respond when they call his name.

Alexander Solzhenitsyn: Dissident author on Stalin’s gulag dies of heart failure at 89.

Election Results: Ratings spike for cable news, but broadcast and network news slump.

Convection Results: Hurricane warning for Edouard, currently a storm, to hit between Louisiana and Texas—offshore oil port closed.

Blinded with Science: Firebombers target homes of scientists engaged in biomedical research using animals.

Mellongate: Christina Applegate diagnosed with breast cancer, expected to recover fully.

Short Flight: Loonie projected to dive.

Spawn: The picture worth $14 million.

Olympics kick-off week kicks off: Are the games a trap?

RSS icon Comments

1

What or who wears shoes other than humans?

Posted by Hartiepie | August 4, 2008 8:48 AM
2

Well horses, but I don't think their shoes float.

Posted by Brian | August 4, 2008 9:04 AM
3

"mellongate"? really, dominic. if you're going to be tasteless, it's best to be funny, too.

Posted by ellarosa | August 4, 2008 9:05 AM
4

The storm is named Edouard. It is certainly an odd spelling, but no reason to get it wrong.

http://www.wwltv.com/weather/pinpoint-640a.html

Posted by Chris from N.O. | August 4, 2008 9:05 AM
5

@4) Thanks.

Posted by Dominic Holden | August 4, 2008 9:09 AM
6

Who's Christina Applegate? Are we supposed to know who that is?

Posted by bluh? | August 4, 2008 9:11 AM
7

Why would you "split up" with your eleven year old AUTISTIC son while hiking?! That story reeks of fish.

Posted by Callie | August 4, 2008 9:24 AM
8

The previous shoe was found to have an animal's foot stuffed into it, presumably by a prankster.

Posted by Fnarf | August 4, 2008 9:29 AM
9

1. Ok Obama just gave his energy independence/economic speech in Michigan.

Pretty good. Kind of wonky with lists and figures and stuff, not so much the soaring rhetoric. I liked it that he attacked McCain and oil companies. A b-, sort of a lower than average grade for him, but he's moving to talk on the economy.

2. Re: seating MI FL: why now instead of earlier when it would have been principled. When it would have helped him more instead of dissing FL and MI. By changing now he's so obviously purely driven by tactical advantage, he has squandered the bump he couldn't gotten and abandoned all the prior devotion to the "principle" of "well the rules must be followed."

3. Re: 10 points ahead among wwc isn't that great. 1/6 of them are undecided and there's that effect noted in #3 below, too.

Should be way more.

4. Re: WSJ Bradley effect: moan about the ignorarance or racism of the electorate all you want, that doesn't particularly help win them over, does it?

What does?

-see #1 above.
-see prior advice to seat FL MI. Oh well better late than never I guess.
--pick the VP choice that actually bumps him up in the polls, and is the strongest potential pres. Duh. Get over the vanity and snobbiness factor and desire to diss someone just cuz that person ran against you. Don't be like Dole or Carter who couldn't put rivals on their team and who lost. Be like Kennedy, who won.

Posted by PC | August 4, 2008 9:30 AM
10

Oops. Sorry. Forgot to close the tag after "old." Bah Monday morning.

Posted by Callie | August 4, 2008 9:33 AM
11

people, a moment of silence for christina applegate's breasts.

http://www.myclassiclyrics.com/artist_biographies/Christina_Applegate_Biography_2.jpg

Posted by max solomon | August 4, 2008 9:37 AM
12
Stampede kills over 145, mostly women and children, after rumors of a landslide on trail to Hindu temple.

good thing there weren't rumors of a landslide at the capitol hill block party!

Posted by whew | August 4, 2008 9:45 AM
13

PC, seriously, make an effort to write your comments in English, would ya?

Posted by Fnarf | August 4, 2008 9:55 AM
14

They found the autistic boy... Some time this morning. ;)

Posted by Cattymaran | August 4, 2008 9:59 AM
15

It's spelled Clallam.

Posted by County | August 4, 2008 10:05 AM
16

@15) Indeed.

Posted by Dominic Holden | August 4, 2008 10:10 AM
17

Facebook? Shouldn't they require more concrete proof than that, like a Cher CD collection and a video on X-Tube?

Posted by Gitai | August 4, 2008 10:12 AM
18

Assuming you are making a play on words with Christina Applegate's name, it should be Melongate. When spelled with two "L"s, it refers to the east cost family currently best known for their right-wing politics (Google Richard Scaife Mellon if you need more info).

Posted by Sheryl | August 4, 2008 10:26 AM
19

The loonie is down 3%? Huh?

Oh. They mean since January 1st, 2008, while the loonie was still correcting from it's spike in November.

Do American forex brokers get off on baselessly bashing Canadian currency or something? Or is this a pipe dream back to the days of 15-20% USD acceptance rates?

Canada's financial experts have a much different viewpoint.

Posted by K | August 4, 2008 10:33 AM
20

How sick are you to make fun of someone with breast cancer? Christina Applegate did nothing to warrant your lack of pity.

Posted by elswinger | August 4, 2008 10:46 AM
21

Biomedical researchers using animals?

Um, why me?

You want me to start running clinical trials on small children FIRST?

God, you're sick.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 4, 2008 11:29 AM
22

Agreed with elswinger. She's managed to make a tidy little career for herself after Married With Children, and seems like a perfectly nice, classy, cute-as-a-button lady.

Posted by laterite | August 4, 2008 11:29 AM
23

@ 20, 22) I think we can all agree that Christina Applegate is awesome, the docs think she'll be fine, and that nobody would come to Slog if it were all dry facts all the time. And I wrote the Morning News at 6:30 a.m.

Posted by Dominic Holden | August 4, 2008 12:09 PM
24

Like that's an excuse, Dominic.

(wink)

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 4, 2008 12:21 PM
25

Save gay people from theocrazy's. They will be murdered.

Posted by Vince | August 4, 2008 12:54 PM

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