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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Jekyll and Hyde that is Incense!

posted by on August 27 at 15:05 PM

Catholics and stoners and swamis in general have always understood it: Incense is delightful! It fills the room and fuddles the senses! It goes well with curry and carries your prayers to the gods!

But they are all going to die now. Observe:

Researchers in Denmark studied the effects of long-term incense exposure on 61,000 Singapore Chinese ages 45 to 74. They found that burning incense, an important part of many cultures’ religious rituals, almost doubles the risk of squamous cell carcinomas in the upper respiratory tract (which includes the tongue, mouth, sinus and largyneal areas).

And now you’re thinking, “Oh, wicked, wicked incense! Putting squamous tumors in the lungs of the faithful! Killing innocent stoners! Fie on thee! FIE!” Right? Me too! (And who can blame us?) But wait! Incense is also our friend! The champion of swollen joints everywhere! (If you eat it.) Look:

In a study in the journal Arthritis Research & Therapy, researchers found that an enriched extract of Indian frankincense, known as 5-Loxin, a product developed by Laila Nutraceuticals, not only reduces the pain of arthritis, but does it quickly.

Incense: Spiritual, room-deodorizing, lung-strangling, tumor-making, and the quick sure cure for aching grannies. Is there anything incense can’t do?

Are there no levels to which it won’t stoop?

RSS icon Comments

1

I can't burn incense in my nursing home because of people's respiratory problems but I have to put up with the stench of urine and feces all day. I feel like I live in a cow pasture.

Posted by elswinger | August 27, 2008 3:27 PM
2

i think casual use isn't the problem but continual day in-day out use.

Posted by Jiberish | August 27, 2008 3:40 PM
3

Almost all incense gives me an instant splitting headache, even just walking past that damn store on Broadway. Down with incense!

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement | August 27, 2008 4:33 PM
4

Adrian, what's wrong with you?! That post almost has substance...

Posted by Uncle Vinny | August 27, 2008 4:37 PM
5

oh god, i'm going to die.

Posted by kdc | August 27, 2008 5:02 PM
6

If, like I, you misread this word as "incest," you probably thought this was a rather confusing post.

Posted by Dan | August 27, 2008 7:33 PM

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