Slog - Comments on Like a Really Old Virgin... http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time Today, ladies and gentlemen, Madonna turns officially old. Today she is fifty. FIFTY! Practically petrified! Ancient! Mummy dust! I know! Madonna. Is. Fucking. FIFTY!!! My brain can hardly wrap around it. But lest we forget, my friends, a younger moment, a fresher day... Damn you, oh cruel and inexorable March of Time! God damn you, damn you, damn you!... Copyright 2008 Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:22:43 -0800 Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:00:58 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Joseph Finn Weirdly, this one didn't hit me too hard. Finding out that Kevin Bacon was hitting 50 this year, now that made me feel old.

]]> Joseph Finn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102517 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102517 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:03:49 -0800 Comment by John Gaza Fuck off, whippersnapper! I was young once, and you'll be old someday (if you're lucky).

"Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill."

]]> John Gaza http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102523 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102523 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:35:24 -0800 Comment by Steagle Thank god time marched us right on out of the eighties.

]]> Steagle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102524 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102524 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:35:37 -0800 Comment by citrus I thought she already was fifty.

]]> citrus http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102527 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102527 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:43:25 -0800 Comment by Fnarf The same terrible fate befalls me, your beloved Fnarf, in just a couple of weeks.

]]> Fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102528 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102528 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:49:49 -0800 Comment by Cookie W. Monster Don't worry, Fnarfness. Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth turned 55 (!) this year, and she's still as cool cool cool as ever.

Madonna, meanwhile, was already a pathetic old cow in 1985 at age 27, and therefore really, no really--no, I mean really--needs to STFU ASAP, IMHO.

]]> Cookie W. Monster http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102538 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102538 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:43:20 -0800 Comment by adrian firstly: cookie monster? you are so right it hurts.

lastly: oh, no, farf, no! i forbid it! by the power invested in me by the voices in my head, i now declare you 39 forever! zap! zam! kapowie!

so don't worry, now--i've done that for a lot of people. it totally works. every time.

]]> adrian http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102541 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102541 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:01:11 -0800 Comment by Rachel She looks fabulous for fifty.

She looks fabulous for forty, frankly.

And she's still got it. Have you heard her new song, "Miles Away"? I am really looking forward to the tour.

]]> Rachel http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102546 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102546 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:06:51 -0800 Comment by Bronwyn Her new song is not called "Miles Away."

It is called "Give it 2 Me."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-ZJ9gcIpIE

]]> Bronwyn http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102547 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102547 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:10:42 -0800 Comment by Marion "If you can handle it, undress me" ???!!

Really??!!

]]> Marion http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102548 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102548 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 12:18:08 -0800 Comment by Freddy Madge will be storming at 85 ... what is 50??

Adrian, youth cult is so passe

So 19th century

]]> Freddy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102554 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102554 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 13:00:24 -0800 Comment by threnody Remember when it was okay to have a little belly fat and thin lips? This video brought it all back...oh to be 11 again and getting lace shirts and rubber bracelets for Christmas from indulgent relatives.

]]> threnody http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102577 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102577 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:18:34 -0800 Comment by dawicksta Oh that we all look as hot at 50! =)

]]> dawicksta http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102580 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102580 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:54:51 -0800 Comment by Andrew You know... 50 is nothing.

Do you know who's at the top of the dance charts right now? In fact, she just knocked Madonna (and Give It 2 Me) of the top spot.

Give up?

It's Yoko Ono. She's seventy-fucking-five years old.

Madge is going to have to keep bringing it for another 25 years if she wants to break that record. Yoko is the oldest ever at the top of the dance charts.

]]> Andrew http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102587 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102587 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 15:37:31 -0800 Comment by E There is an Arabic word which is pronounced almost identically to the word 'Madonna'. It means "something which is no longer fresh".

]]> E http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102609 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102609 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:47:44 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO youth cult is so passe

That's what old people say to feel better about themselves instead of admitting they are jealous.

Also, I loved Lucky Star. I still sing along in the car when it comes on the radio (and I look like such a queer). But I could take or leave Madonna otherwise.

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102616 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102616 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:52:25 -0800 Comment by John Bailo My theory is that in the next 5 years they should be releasing the anti-aging drugs.

So, the savvy bachelor should go around visiting nursing homes, and like ask to see the ladies yearbook.

Then, marry someone who looked good in like 1934, dope her up with the pills, and voila!

]]> John Bailo http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102629 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102629 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 19:58:49 -0800 Comment by Freddy Mike in MO - with the jerking knees

I am younger than you - I just do not get all the age crap - if you love life and people - and lots of different textures - well then - youth age cult is stupid, sterile, uni vision and big time rube

too, it helps to understand how good some older guys are in bed - oh, my God - I told the secret

]]> Freddy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102644 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102644 Celeb Sat, 16 Aug 2008 23:13:07 -0800 Comment by irl some one has reading my beloved MichaelK . . .

]]> irl http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102672 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102672 Celeb Sun, 17 Aug 2008 08:25:17 -0800 Comment by not famous I once picked up a book of photos taken when Madonna was 20 and achingly beautiful -- vulnerable and a lot more virginal looking than in the video.

Did that video remind anyone else of that old "Beauty and the Beast" TV show?

]]> not famous http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102678 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102678 Celeb Sun, 17 Aug 2008 08:59:39 -0800 Comment by carialisis She looks like she has NO ARMS in the video!

(The Give It 3 Me Video, not the Like a Virgin video.)

]]> carialisis http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102736 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102736 Celeb Sun, 17 Aug 2008 14:33:03 -0800 Comment by glabula This is what she looked like yesterday, at her birthday party.

http://madonna-gallery.com/albums/out/2008/london_0816/0009.jpg

What do you thinK? Hag?

]]> glabula http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102818 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102818 Celeb Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:01:00 -0800 Comment by John What does it say on her purse?

What's with the Wonder Woman arm bands?

]]> John http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102820 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102820 Celeb Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:34:22 -0800 Comment by ella She looks kind of good.

]]> ella http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102821 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102821 Celeb Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:18:59 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO @ Freddy (if anyone is still reading this thread): I'm joking for gosh's sake! I'm dating a guy in his fiftys and, yes, he is wonderful in bed.

But it is nice to be (relatively) young and hot ;-)

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102829 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102829 Celeb Mon, 18 Aug 2008 08:38:51 -0800 Comment by Dalton You want to know who looks REALLY hot for her age?

Siouxsie Sioux:
http://juliejoycemusic.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/siouxsienew.jpg

]]> Dalton http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102836 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/08/the_inexorable_march_of_time#c1102836 Celeb Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:00:58 -0800