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RSS icon Comments on That Cloned Pit Bull Story Gets 10,000 Times Weirder

1

"Disguised as a deaf-mute mime artist" is not a sentence I ever expected to read.

And yes, the magic Mormon underpants make a brief appearance.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 11:14 AM
2

Or ... maybe it's summer and the editors who usually make sure they don't repeat obviously fake lies are all in China for the big party?

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 7, 2008 11:18 AM
3

Yikes. I agree with the sole commenter so far on the Daily Mail site... what's with the whole attitude that rape is fun and silly so long as it's woman-on-man?

Also, story? Nuts.

Posted by leek | August 7, 2008 11:19 AM
4

The mormon was named Kirk Anderson. Doesn't he live around here now?

Posted by M | August 7, 2008 11:22 AM
5

STOP POSTING THAT PICTURE!

That pictures freaks me out in a way I cannot completely describe. Nightmares, man.

Posted by JC | August 7, 2008 11:24 AM
6

@3:

He was 6'4 and she was a little girl, and back then she was actually attractive. Much more likely that he had "buyer's remorse" due to his Mormon indoctrination.

Not to say she wasn't and isn't crazy,...

Posted by Dave M | August 7, 2008 11:37 AM
7

@3 - I'm sure he was asking for it, wearing that miniskirt and low-cut top. Oh wait, I meant chastity belt.

Posted by Georgia Guy | August 7, 2008 11:43 AM
8

Come on, people--who hasn't kidnapped, bound, and repeatedly raped a Mormon missionary?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 7, 2008 11:51 AM
9

@6: yes, he was 6'4" -- and chloroformed and handcuffed.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 11:52 AM
10

I think she's going to eat that puppy!

Posted by boxofbirds | August 7, 2008 11:55 AM
11

I agree with #5. That picture is horrific. Post this one: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/06/article-1042456-0230A73800000578-196_468x342.jpg

Posted by elswinger | August 7, 2008 12:01 PM
12

Clone a Mormon missionary and you can always have a fresh one at the ready.

Posted by rob | August 7, 2008 12:02 PM
13

"She resurfaced once more in 1984, when she was arrested near Salt Lake City Airport, where Kirk Anderson - the Mormon she had kidnapped - was working.

In her car, police found a length of rope and a pair of handcuffs. The implication was clear that she was about to make a second kidnap attempt, but she failed to show up in court and the case was dropped."

this is 7 years after the initial incident. not only is the woman batshit crazy, she really knows how to carry a torch.

Posted by ellarosa | August 7, 2008 12:06 PM
14

@3 - actually, an entire Afghan family is threatening to commit suicide (lead story on CNN) if their daughter's rapist isn't executed in public and then dragged around behind a tank.

So, at least someone agrees with you about rape.

Can we get a recipe for BBQ Cloned Pit Bull Puppies? How long do we have to marinate them in a ginger-garlic sauce before tenderly roasting them in a nuclear convection oven? Are they safe for vegans to eat since you're only eating one set of DNA over and over, so it doesn't count?

And will they become a South Korean side dish that catches on worldwide after being served to the Olympic athletes and their host families in Beijing?

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 7, 2008 12:07 PM
15

The puppies were a practice run. She probably has a little of the Mormon guy's DNA stashed away somewhere. If she has been stalking him she could've taken it from his garbage.

If she ever actually marries anyone you can bet that "'til death do we part" will be left out of the vows.

Posted by inkweary | August 7, 2008 12:12 PM
16

WOW...That story has EVERYTHING!

Can't wait for the Diablo Cody penned film version...

And, is it just me, or were beauty contestant standards noticably lower in the 70's?

Yikes.

Posted by michael strangeways | August 7, 2008 12:20 PM
17
@3 - actually, an entire Afghan family is threatening to commit suicide (lead story on CNN) if their daughter's rapist isn't executed in public and then dragged around behind a tank.

So, at least someone agrees with you about rape.

Ummm yeah. Good close reading skills there, WiS! That's precisely what I was arguing for.


Posted by leek | August 7, 2008 12:21 PM
18

@4:

Definitely NOT our Kirk "Awesome" Anderson - about the only thing the two have in common is their height.

Posted by COMTE | August 7, 2008 12:46 PM
19

@8 Hey, hands off the mission calendar cover model, he's mine:

http://nachofoto.com/foto?i=49a2a1d2620d&ref=49a2a1d2620d

By the way, did news of the fact the guy who created the calendar was excommunicated make it onto Slog?

Posted by PopTart | August 7, 2008 12:49 PM
20

@15, she probably has a little jar of his dried-up jizz, from 1974.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 12:51 PM
21

the crazy ones are the best in bed.

Posted by max solomon | August 7, 2008 12:52 PM
22

Crazy and stupid enough not to stay out of the news.

And very classy of the Daily Mail to put "rape" in quotation marks and claim that men would envy Anderson's predicament. Christ.

Posted by keshmeshi | August 7, 2008 12:53 PM
23

um, keshmeshi, i hate to say it but a lot of men do envy his predicament. naturally, in reality, most men would not be so enthusiastic, but in fantasy land having a beauty queen tie you up and 'force' you to have sex with her is pretty awesome.

also she never did stand trial, so the rape is alleged. even if she does seem to be a total nutjob.

Posted by douglas | August 7, 2008 1:02 PM
24

Eh. Mormon drama students. Whaddya expect?

Posted by RonK, Seattle | August 7, 2008 1:04 PM
25

Do the mission calender boys need a special dispensation from God to pose out of their magic underoos?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 7, 2008 1:47 PM
26

Couldn't she just have forged autographs while singing Puff The Magic Dragon as she toted the rolling luggage bag?

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40608000/jpg/_40608025_maryap_203.jpg

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | August 7, 2008 1:50 PM
27

Jabba the Hut?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 7, 2008 2:00 PM
28

@23,

And there are women who have rape fantasies. It's still a shitty thing to say in a "news" article.

Posted by keshmeshi | August 7, 2008 2:09 PM
29

fantasy and reality are two different things...I doubt few men would be thrilled to be tied up for THAT long and forced to fuck that hideous and crazy woman...and once again, how the fuck did she win any pageants? She was sort of slutty cocktail waitress "cute" but she's not pageant "cute"

as for that poor Mormon sumbitch, if I were him, I'd be defecting to NORTH Korea...They're the only ones who can keep him safe from her DNA searching hands...

Posted by michael strangeways | August 7, 2008 2:22 PM
30

@21, never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself. Ironclad law.

Posted by Fnarf | August 7, 2008 3:03 PM
31

She done-gots Jimmy Crack Corn teeth!

Posted by I'm My Own Grandpaw! | August 7, 2008 3:16 PM
32

@29:

Well, it's not like she would have run into that much competition in a "Miss Wyoming" beauty pageant in 1972...

Posted by COMTE | August 7, 2008 3:23 PM
33

Will in Seattle said:
Can we get a recipe for BBQ Cloned Pit Bull Puppies? How long do we have to marinate them in a ginger-garlic sauce before tenderly roasting them in a nuclear convection oven? Are they safe for vegans to eat since you're only eating one set of DNA over and over, so it doesn't count?

And will they become a South Korean side dish that catches on worldwide after being served to the Olympic athletes and their host families in Beijing?

Will. I don't have the recipe you requested, but you might enjoy this one:

* Exported from MasterCook *

Stewed Dog (wedding style)

Recipe By : Joe Sweeney
Serving Size : 30 Preparation Time :3:00
Categories : Ethnic Dog Amount Measure Ingredient
Preparation Method
3 kg dog meat -- * see note
1 1/2 cups vinegar
60 peppercorns -- crushed
6 tablespoons salt
12 cloves garlic -- crushed
1/2 cup cooking oil
6 cups onion -- sliced
3 cups tomato sauce
10 cups boiling water
6 cups red pepper -- cut into strips
6 pieces bay leaf
1 teaspoon tabasco sauce
1 1/2 cups liver spread --
** see note
1 whole fresh pineapple -- cut 1/2 inch thick

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.
2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be
used in other recpies)
3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn,
salt and garlic for 2 hours.
4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and
chopped pineapple and saute until tender.
5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green peper, bay leaf and tobasco.
6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread
and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.
* you can substiture lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent.
** smooth liver pate will do as well.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Suggested Wine: San Miguel Beer
Serving Ideas : Rice, naturally.

NOTES : During my wedding reception, my brother- in-law suggested we add to the
feast by having dog stew. Wanting to be part of the family, and having been
subjected to all sorts of socials tests already, I agreed. The result was...
well.. a lot better than I expected. In fact, it was great!

It was only later I found out that dog should *not* be served at weddings, as
it may make the bride and groom flight like dogs during the honeymoon. But what
the heck. It didn't seem to have that effect... at least not until a few year
later. :-)

For the faint of heart, you can always substitute lamb in place of next door's
rover, but the meat will not be as sweet or as rich in flavor.

Posted by unclecj | August 7, 2008 6:31 PM

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