Slog - Comments on Sometimes Olympic Triumph....

Comment by harold

harold — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:28:35 -0800

It looks better than the straight off-the-Burt-Reynolds-porn-set gold chains in Mark Spitz's 7 medal image

Comment by monkey

monkey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:29:09 -0800

Hey, I think Ricky from Project Runway season 4 designed that and then burst into tears.

Comment by max solomon

max solomon — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:29:45 -0800

manscaped!

Comment by Kirk Fontenot

Kirk Fontenot — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:35:04 -0800

I told my boyfriend the first time I saw this that it looks like a poster for a bad Bollywood film.

Comment by Chris B

Chris B — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:37:35 -0800

I think I see Waxie Moon's new routine....

Comment by stinkbug

stinkbug — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:40:27 -0800

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2008/08/19/just-asking-is-michael-phelps-a-douche/

Comment by Suz

Suz — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:41:25 -0800

Yes David, it does look like an ugly halter top! Too much ribbon, not enough Phelps.

Has anyone mentioned how low the picture goes? I like it but damn, it is inches away from his naughty bits!

Comment by Whiworth Fag

Whiworth Fag — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:41:49 -0800

And to think of all that lead seeping into his chest and abs...

Cancer in 5 years, or at least lead poisoning.

Comment by tomasyalba

tomasyalba — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:52:36 -0800

@1, you crazy off on that. Spitz in chains is massively great. I have the boyhood daydreams to prove it.

Comment by Tostina

Tostina — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:53:20 -0800

Am I the only one totally sick of looking at this kids goofy face

Comment by Judith

Judith — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:54:33 -0800

Imagine how much krazier the hype would be if he had a good-looking face too.

Comment by darek

darek — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:54:55 -0800

am i the only one that thinks he's ugly as sin?

Comment by Whitworth Fag

Whitworth Fag — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:57:49 -0800

Yeah, he does have one ugly face, well not ugly just not very attractive, kinda like the guy you sleep with between being sober and totally drunk. The guy you pick up at the Cuff who you wouldn't hit on at 11:45 pm but around 12:50 am you and take him home.

Comment by WF

WF — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:59:25 -0800

Sorry about my typo in #13, I thought I deleted "you" in the last line.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:03:47 -0800

Now that he's on target for $35-100 million in endorsement earnings, maybe he can buy a personality.

Comment by David

David — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:06:40 -0800

@7,
Actually, this photo ends a foot and a half above his naughty bits. He has a very long torso, you know.

Comment by Suz

Suz — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:11:18 -0800

Yes, he is goofy looking, but he just got more attractive... 8 times more attractive.

Comment by Vince

Vince — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:17:43 -0800

Jealousy is sooooo ugly.

Comment by Old Geezer

Old Geezer — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:22:46 -0800

Eh, he may be a good swimmer, but he's no Jim Thorpe, that's for sure.

Comment by Just sayin'

Just sayin' — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:29:26 -0800

Not very attractive. He looks kind of retarded.

Comment by Jeremy from Seattle

Jeremy from Seattle — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:30:26 -0800

That is an awful cover. The background should be some sort of blue...not a duplication of the eyesore orange that is the ribbon...

Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball

Jubilation T. Cornball — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:36:38 -0800

Poor Phelpsy...he looks like he opened the Ark of the Covenant and part of his face melted off.

Talented kid, though.

Comment by w7ngman

w7ngman — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:39:20 -0800

#20, ADHD, actually.

Comment by NapoleonXIV

NapoleonXIV — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:54:30 -0800

He has actually photographed well in other instances.

He'd probably fare better if he weren't caught 1) full front; and 2) smiling on camera.

Comment by RHETT ORACLE

RHETT ORACLE — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:02:34 -0800

Did someone say Jim Thorpe when he meant Ian Thorpe and if not - please to explain.

@9 - You are totally correct - only once in my long gay life have I ever had a poster in my home revealing my homo-ness and that was Mark Spitz in Chains - hung on the back of my San Francisco closet door.

As for Phelp's perceived ugliness, well - like beauty - ugliness is in the beholder's eye, and I think some of you are - gasp - unlike the Olympic pool - shallow. As the ladies in "Music Man" chirp, it's always pick-a-little-pick-a-little...pick-pick-pick...pick-a-lot-pick-a-little...

Comment by SDizzle

SDizzle — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:03:06 -0800

I totally thought he was wearing a dress when I saw this picture. My reaction "Why is Michael Phelps in drag on that magazine cover...?

Comment by Reverse Polarity

Reverse Polarity — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:03:26 -0800

I actually don't think he's bad looking. And the 8 medals is an impressive feat.

But that is one shitty photo. It doesn't do him or the medals any justice at all. The photographer should be flogged. What kind of incompetent jackasses are they hiring over at Sports Illustrated, anyway?

Comment by Kyleen

Kyleen — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:09:57 -0800

Sadly, it was Phelps who spawned discussion of the need for a male version of butterface. All we could come up with was butt-his-face. Any other ideas?

Comment by w7ngman

w7ngman — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:12:40 -0800

#28, what's wrong with butterface?

Comment by Gabe

Gabe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:13:07 -0800

Prawn

Comment by Abby

Abby — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:18:32 -0800

@28: I believe that "prawn" and "Seth" were the winners.

I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, but I miss Ian Thorpe. Now that was a pretty swimmer. And the first athlete I ever had a crush on.

Comment by NapoleonXIV

NapoleonXIV — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:29:56 -0800

This one?

Comment by Gabe

Gabe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:31:55 -0800

prawn: (australian) a male or female with an ugly head but a tasty body.

Q: So how did you go last night with the surf lifesaver?
A: Ummm, he was a bit of a prawn, but I turned off the lights, so it was sweet.

Comment by Abby

Abby — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:32:57 -0800

@32: yes. Very much so.

Comment by RHETT ORACLE

RHETT ORACLE — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:33:20 -0800

Compare and contrast - Spitz vs. Phelps

http://iaingraham.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/0248.jpg

The difference is the thin chains and the ubiquitous Red Chinese silk - and I forgot - the faces.

Comment by Gabe

Gabe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:34:47 -0800

@32: That looks like one of those newfangled spray on condoms gone horribly wrong.

Comment by Gabe

Gabe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:42:38 -0800

@35: Maybe because I remember Mark Spitz, and I'm straight, and I have a moustache, I'd go with Spitz.

Comment by calvin

calvin — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:45:24 -0800

My 71 year old mother is DEATHLY IN LOVE with him, but even though he probably has a 12" cock, I think he is one of the goofiest people I have ever seen. Can't even stand hearing of him anymore.

Comment by brandon

brandon — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:01:34 -0800

he's just the right amount of ugly for me (although for the record i prefer spitz). i can even forgive the body shaving. unfortunate picture though. he really needs to not smile.

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:29:26 -0800

Is there any other kind?

Comment by hm

hm — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:05:42 -0800

@27 -- It's a cheap shot: They outsourced it to China.

Comment by scary tyler moore

scary tyler moore — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:51:48 -0800

oh, baby, i'd hit him seven days a week and cook him breakfast lunch AND dinner. i like my boys young and smooth.

Comment by COMTE

COMTE — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:40:38 -0800

Hm, reminds me of this bellydancer I saw many years ago in a little bar in Istanbul - I think it's the nose that brings it all back to me...

Comment by CattyMaran

CattyMaran — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 16:52:37 -0800

Can't be any worse than this pic-

http://www.mokers.org/blog/images/2008/02/sports/michael-phelps-speedo.png

Comment by Sharon

Sharon — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:31:53 -0800

I'll take Mark Spitz. Phelps has that mentally challenged look.