Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by August 20 at 14:31 PM
onI met my boyfriend on a dating site and it was suppose to only be a mistress/slave thing but when we met it turned into more. This is where the problem starts. We rarely have sex and when we do he NEVER wants “normal” sex. He has to be tied up or I’m the one fucking him (anally) and I have to do all the work. Ok, so whats the problem right? I’m a mistress and I’m the one who’s suppose to do all the work. Ok, fine yeah, but sometimes, I wanna good lay and not have my partner tied up! I’ve mention this to him and he says that sex isnt an important part of a relationship! And that I’m some nympho with a crazy sex drive (he’s the only man i’ve ever met who didn’t like lots sex), but it’s honestly becoming a problem. I’m starting to lose interest which I don’t want to happen but this lack of sex is driving me nuts! Any advice? Other than self pleasure?Sexless Mistress
DTMFA.
And I’m sorry, Mistress, you’re totally being scammed here. You are having sex, and a lot of it—and don’t let your boyfriend/slave tell you otherwise—but you’re only having the kind of sex he wants. For him, getting tied up and/or fucked in the ass is sex. La duh. What you’re not having is the kind of sex that appeals to you. Which is hilarious since you’re ostensibly the dominant one in this relationship. Stop tying him up and stop fucking his ass and you’ll quickly see just how important a part of a relationship he thinks sex is.
And where did you get the impression that the Mistress in a D/s relationship “does all the work”? Oh, right: from your selfish, inconsiderate, spoiled, topping-from-below boyfriend. He either starts meeting your needs, you DTMFA, or you tie him up and invite someone else over to give you the sex you’re not getting from him.
Comments
Best advice ever!
Shit, I think that might be my girlfriend.
*calls florist*
done that.
Good advice Dan! You gave the very same counsel to me once as well. Consistent too.
Very good advice.
Stuff like this makes me glad I'm way more vanilla ...
And she's supposed to be the D in the D/s paradigm?
Doesn't sound like she's very good at her job...
Yeah, that about sums it up. It's like she's never read your column.
When you dump him, buy him a baseball bat. Give him something to beat himself over the head with every time he remembers that wonderful, pegging, dom girlfriend he didn't appreciate and lost.
Second thoughts, buy him two. His sorry, unpegged ass will be regretting losing you for a long, long time.
@7 for the win.
Any partner who responds to a respectful request for more/different sex with allegations of being a crazy nympho deserves the ol' DTMFA.
Cheers, Mr. Savage.
Let's see how much he regrets the nympho comment when he has no one to peg him.
This sounds like one of the easiest DTMFAs ever.
That "topping-from-below" sounds pretty exciting, though. Sounds like a classically Seattle passive-aggressive move.
@9,
Yeah. I'm thinking DTMFA is the way to go. She shouldn't give him another chance to begrudgingly give her what she wants. He lost any and all second chances when he put the problem on her.
Can't you just order him to fuck you properly?
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