Get him drunk and pay someone to fuck him so you can be the victim and leave because he cheated on you.
"Iím not ready...."
There's your reason.
Hell, get Mr. Poe drunk and he might do it for you for free. ;)
Breaking up with someone is very sad...damn, no I feel all melancholy.
Please file the appropriate termination of cohabitative relationship forms and submit them to your county prethonitary by the end of the fiscal quarter. Please include two forms of photo ID, birth certificate, and the signed permission slip of a doctor.
A dependent older guy? Sounds like some 26-year-old Tullalip enthusiast. No thanks.
Start peeing on his things and slashing his stuff with a knife. Soon he'll be glad to get rid of you.
Thanks ever so much but this isn't going to work. Bye bye.
No way was this the best letter you got today.
It seems weird to suggest that information about "why" would only be provided if he "insisted." If people have had an intense relationship that is now ending, it seems as if some communication is appropriate. Why is being nice not an issue in this situation?
@10: Because sometimes, giving reasons just gives the soon-to-be-ex something to argue with. Sometimes it is better to just cut the strings and walk.
Obama, Madonna! What a wonderful team!
Obama, Madonna! Ain't no foolish dream!
It means no worries for the next four years...
Hitch up to their star
And they'll take us far!
poe, tell me this isn't about you and the jew.
I've also found it to be a passive aggressive type thing, designed to guilt trip the other person into not leaving. The dumpee will use the dumper's reluctance to cause hurt feelings to his own advantage. At least that's been my experience. It's better just to leave, no explanations.
Tell him at his favorite restaurant. The food will taste like cardboard to him for a while.
So basically explaining and being kind and trying to cushion the emotional blow are out of the question if doing so might be a little unpleasant or inconvenient for oneself.
@13: In a mature, healthy relationship with good communication, the dumpee will already have heard all the complaints anyway and should have seen this coming. Unless, of course, the dumpage has nothing to do with the dumpee, but is a (relatively sudden) act on the part of the dumper. But that's a whole other story.
Follow the intructions in the Nada Surf song Popular.
Or, do exactly what Dan says.
This would have been a perfect job for Shannon Doherty back when her "Breaking Up With Shannon Doherty" reality show was still going. Never has a more perfect celebrity vehicle ever been created. The premise: Shannon Doherty dumped your significant other for you. If the dumpee argued, she'd show footage of them doing shitty things like flirting excessively or sitting on their asses while their partner cleaned. It was genius.
Not I. I get out of relationships that don't work. Mine works. Which is why I'm still here. For now.
You don't even need to post this. You gave the right advice. Thank god you didn't waste a column on this one.
But I do wonder why we do feel obligated to give someone a reason why we don't want to be with them. We can no more answer the question of why we don't want to be with someone, than we can answer the question of why we do.
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