Is that the reason Stranger interns are unpaid?  Did Lucius Danforth III insist their work be plausibly consensual?

Why are you afraid to talk about it anymore? I feel that's not really something that's absolutely taboo...I mean, everyone does it...except Mr. Savage, clearly.

Can't wait to read the details on everyone's ass-wiping technique..

For the ladies, it prevents nasties from making where they don't belong.

For menfolk: what's the danger of accidental contamination of the balls with poop? Someone nobody wants when going down on a man is poop scented/flavored balls.

http://www.amazon.com/RE-Search-Guide-Bodily-Fluids/dp/1890451045/ref=si3_rdr_bb_product

For the record, I too lean left and go front to back. Otherwise, aren't you kinda sweeping the dirt back into the kitchen?

This is going to turn into a "Dear Abby/Ann Landers" situation (to refresh your memory, it was all about how toilet tissue is to be put on the holder).

I don't need this right now..

http://www.bathroomsurvey.com/

I appreciate that everyone is eager to share.  I'd just rather not be able to associate your answer with your name.

And hell yeah, front-to-back; and fold, not crumple; and lean forward, not stand; and don't stop 'till it's all gone; and fer cryin' out loud, PUT THE DAMNED LID DOWN WHEN YER DONE!

AND WASH YER HANDS, TOO!

Ancient Romans before the Great Flood of biblical times (yes, that one) used to use a sponge on a stick.

No, I'm not making that one up.

And that survey is awesome!

It should be noted that you should always wash your hands with hot water and soap after doing number 2.

ALWAYS.

Technically, you should also do it after number 1, but it's not quite as critical (though other people will wish you had).

You should also get enough to fold it three times over.

Seriously.

And, yes, I know half of you don't wash your hands afterwards. Disgusting, really.

And seriously, you'd have to be an idiot to get shit all over yourself using the back to front method.

Sounds like a job for Brylcreem bath tissue. A little dab'll do ya, plus you'll love to run your fingers through your hair...

Honestly, during 99% of your regularly scheduled pooping, you're not going to be getting visible poop up there. That doesn't mean you aren't infecting yourself with all kinds of nasty poop particles you can't see. The idea of poopy vagina or poopy balls should be disgusting enough to sway you back to fronties to the way of the righteous. Have some basic courtesy for the people who have to eat at that table, and keep it clear of visible and invisible debris.

FRONT TO BACK IS WHERE IT IS AT!

I think shit is funny. And gross. So fucking eat me.

and i use a spiraling method, switching between clockwise & counter, to keep alzheimers at bay.

How the hell does anyone wipe backwards anyway? It's awkward as fuck.

Two things that people brought up that I have never thought about:

- Wiping with a wet wipe when you're done with #2. Do you do this all the time? That seems a bit like overkill
- Somebody up there mentioned girls wiping from front to back when you pee. Do people really do this? I truly had never thought about any other way to wipe pee than back to front.

In other bathroom news, I have just purchased one of those pee funnels for hiking trips, so I'm really interested to see how that goes...

Also, you should be lathering for at least 20 seconds, or you're just wasting soap and water. That 2 second rinse people are doing just doesn't cut it.

And in other bathroom news, did you know that a recent poll shows that 50% of people flush the public toilets with their feet. Put me in the 'yes' column on that one. I hate public toilets, and try to touch as little as possible in them.

there is no such thing as overkill when you're talking about removing shit.

Maybe because I go more often than average (2-3 times a day), I can't really be bothered with a whole huge routine with wet wipes, antibacterial soap, etc.

If you are feeling like really getting the job done, it is acceptable to focus directly on the hole using a single digit with just enough pressure to actually clean out the first 1/4" of your rectum. Do this with the moist wipe or risk break-through and stink-finger humiliation.

Those of us men (and women I suppose) that sweat more frequently can have massive attacks of the dreaded Swamp Ass. Having sweat pool around an ass that is not perfectly clean can be unpleasant to say the least.

Wipe, wipe, wipe yourself,
Always front to back,
Carefully, carefully,
Now you have the knack!