Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by August 4 at 15:18 PMon
Alright, this steps outside the bounds of your usual questions, but I don’t quite know who else to ask. All my life I have wiped my ass the same way. I lean to my left, lifting my right cheek off the seat and with my right hand I reach under and sweep across my browneye front to backófrom my taint towards my tailbone.
Most of my life I assumed this was the way everyone else does it. But during a particularly candid drunken conversation with my college roommate he informed me that for him it’s lift both cheeks off the seat, reach between the legs and sweep forward from tailbone to taint. I never even considered this method and it seems awfully comical to me. He thought my method was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. We both realized that there was no real way of knowing without asking more people who was the real weirdo, or if both ass-wiping methods were common. By the time we sobered up neither of us was much interested to broach the subject with anyone else, much less talk about the subject further with one another.
Years passed, and recently I noticed my wife uses my former roommateís method whenever she takes a leak (which kinda makes sense), but I havenít had the courage to ask or desire to sneak a peak when sheís wiping her ass after taking shit. So what gives? Do most people wipe fore or aft? And is there a difference between girls and guys? Can we do a poll? Ever since discovering there is a different method than my own I just canít let this go.
TOTALLY TAINT TO TAILBONE
Hm… we’ll get the tech guys to squeeze out a poll for us as soon as possible. And did anyone else read this letter and think, “I don’t know how I do it, actually.” Of course, I don’t have to do it for myself anymoreóthat’s what news interns are for.