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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Salty’s—Nazi-Quoting Van Owners, Big Hanger-Uppers!

posted by on August 5 at 16:22 PM

Warning! Below you will find the word “eateries”. Forgive me.

A long time ago I co-wrote a feature piece with Dan (yes, Savage) and Mary Martone (where have all the Mary Martones gone? I ask you.). It was a field piece, a big gay adventure! The three of us separately scoured Seattle, tops-to-bottoms (har-har), searching for Seattle’s best potential next “gay ghetto”. (That’s what Capitol Hill used to be, wee children.) I got West Seattle, among other places. Interested parties can find the entire piece here.

Now you will pause to please to recall David’s post below. This one. It links a bizarre Nazi-quoting Republican propaganda van that’s been spotted in West Seattle to the apparently batshit crazazy owner of Salty’s. It’s seems that said owner of Salty’s (and the hate van) is a big conservative Hitler-appreciating doo-doo headed douchebag of sorts, which finally sort of explains, well, this (from the New Gay Ghetto piece I was talking about):

Next I rang Salty’s, one of West Seattle’s most chi-chi and popular eateries, and asked how they would feel about sharing their digs with a disco or bathhouse. They put me on hold three times, and I eventually gave up. I can take a hint.

Indeed, but apparently I can’t take a hint! For there is, in fact, even more to that story.

I called Salty’s one more time. It’s true. I basically knew that whatever they said wouldn’t make it into the piece (it had been “put to bed” as they say), but they had really pissed me off. When they answered, I told them precisely again who I was and exactly why I was calling. I remind them that I had called three times before and had lingered on hold for at least forty minutes. I respectfully asked for an answer to my question.

Well! Merciful heavens! The fussy voice on the other end said, “I don’t know how I’d feel about that, I’m sure I probably wouldn’t like it too much, now we are very busy, thanks…” aaannnddd….

Click.

CLICK! They totally hung up on me! The turds!

So there you have it, and there it is: Salty’s on Alki—an apparently Nazi-liking, Republican-ish, Gay-Ghetto-Not-Likers and big hanger-uppers on me.

We’ve beheld thy true face, Salty’s. And it’s a great big asshole. With terrible phone manners. And I really hope someone hangs up on you someday. And on your fucking van, too.

RSS icon Comments

1

Actually, I think the word "asshole" applies to the guy from the alt-weekly who calls up a business three times to try to bait you into giving the "wrong" answer to an absurd, hypothetical question.

Oh, and I suspect that most of the gay-owned businesses in Seattle would prefer not to have to share their digs with a disco or a bathhouse.

Posted by David Wright | August 5, 2008 4:41 PM
2

Did you know that the van is tax-deductible, and not just deductible, but the amount of the writeoff is related to the GVW of the van?

In other words, your tax dollars are subsidizing that truck, and encouraging them to get the most inefficient (e.g. huge) one they can get.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 5, 2008 4:47 PM
3

i simply can't argue.

Posted by adrian | August 5, 2008 4:47 PM
4

Let's all start calling Saltys and hanging up on them.

Posted by D | August 5, 2008 4:50 PM
5

Perez on the food beat.

Only instead of being fat, you're a redhead.

At least being fat can be corrected...

Posted by Non | August 5, 2008 4:57 PM
6

stalker! STALKER!

Posted by adrian | August 5, 2008 5:17 PM
7

Anytime I see 'Nazi' or 'Hitler' tossed in loosely like croutons into a tossed salad of hyperbole and manufactured outrage, I know that it’s written by the most adolescent and lazy staffer: Adrain! So what, exactly, are we supposed to be upset about? You make us dizzy dear. Maybe the owner doesn’t love gays. Get over it. I’ve found the wait staff to be very gay friendly.

Posted by raindrop | August 5, 2008 5:27 PM
8

silly raindrop--read david's initial report...that mentions...well, read it!

Posted by adrian | August 5, 2008 5:52 PM
9

nutjobs are totes uncool. but on the other hand, i love a good crepe bar (all gays do). what's a girl to do?

Posted by LaCoste Diorre | August 5, 2008 6:51 PM
10

I did read it. He also quoted Ben Franklin. He's a nutjob, so what? Are you really worried?

Posted by raindrop | August 5, 2008 7:46 PM
11

Thanks, Adrian! For everything.

Posted by elenchos | August 5, 2008 10:27 PM
12

@11 YR DOIN IT RONG!

Posted by Gawd, learn! | August 5, 2008 10:51 PM
13

they like nazis because the owner quotes hitler on his van as an implicit warning against the voting whims of youth?

so when you quote fred phelps to point out how an evil person thinks does that mean the stranger supports fred phelps?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 6, 2008 8:13 AM
14

Vans have tires. Tires go flat. Van goes nowhere. End of story.

Posted by Vince | August 6, 2008 9:54 AM
15

Salty's is not "chi chi". Have you seen the decor in that place? It looks like an f'ing Red Robin.

Posted by john cocktosin | August 6, 2008 10:02 AM
16

It would be a shame if someone checked their tire pressure to make sure it was properly inflated, but then forgot to reinflate it.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 6, 2008 10:35 AM
17

I'm with #9. Salty's may be assholes, but they're tasty, tasty assholes. . . Catch you all at the next Sunday brunch, bitches!

Posted by My Other Car's the Tardis | August 6, 2008 10:58 AM

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