If these were put on paper, they would become uselessly soggy when the mama grizzly, unaware of your approach due to your unyielding respect for silence, removed your innards with a copious flourish of gore.
Feel free to mail them to me. I always can use some more light reading for the bathroom (and as it is made of plastic I can safely read them in the bath).
Take it with you and leave it in the woods. That'll show 'em.
TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING CELLPHONES ON FUCKING HIKING TRAILS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!
The only choice for a cellphone in the woods is on vibrate.
Anything else, including the sound of your favorite song when your cell blasts "Rape Me" by Nirvana, is a good reason to introduce the "hiker" to "gravity" off a cliff.
What?!? You mean you didn't purchase a dye-free, 100% cotton canvas (or hemp-fiber) tent? Why do you hate nature so much?
Any area near a lake is technically a lacustrine not a riparian environment.
@3, that's naughty.
Is there any part of Western Washington that isn't within 200 feet of some sort of body of water?
A found poem by Bethany Jean Clement
The seven Leave No Trace principles.
Shattering the tranquility.
The Great Pacific Garbage Miasma
Living up to your name
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