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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

OKAY, OKAY—THEY’RE CLONING PIT BULLS!!!

posted by on August 5 at 17:17 PM

Congratulations, Cynthia, you’re the millionth person to send me a link to this story about some dumbfuck who spent God only knows how much money getting her beloved pit bull terrier—a dead pit named “Booger”—cloned.

Actually, we do know how much money she spent: $50,000 for a litter of five, or $10,000 per dog. I have nothing to say about this obscenity save this: When Booger’s clones turn on their new owner and go for her throat… well, it looks like they won’t have to go one at a time.

lilbabybooger.jpg

And remember, kids: Your dead pet might have been nice, but his clone will be evil incarnate.

RSS icon Comments

1

Now I've got Pet Cemetery stuck in my head.

Posted by Dougsf | August 5, 2008 5:22 PM
2

The larval puppy form is really much cuter than it has any right to be.

Posted by lostboy | August 5, 2008 5:29 PM
3

OK, it would be cool if they were gay handicapped pitbulls who took express buses, voted for McCain, had a fetish for Italian women, wanted to work at the PI and hated "fixies."

Posted by Grand Slam | August 5, 2008 5:32 PM
4

Complaining about how many slog tips you get? Fuck that Dan, it's a good thing that people think of your blog and want to share!

Posted by Non | August 5, 2008 5:35 PM
5

No, we love the Slog tips. It's just that this one has come in a million times today.

Posted by Dan Savage | August 5, 2008 5:36 PM
6

Sequel: Evil pit bulls repent and chip in to clone owner they tore to shreds.

Posted by RonK, Seattle | August 5, 2008 5:39 PM
7

Pitbull owners are known to name their children "Booger" too.

Posted by Crystal Blue Watters | August 5, 2008 5:48 PM
8

I think it's cool that this lady made the sacrifice required to fulfill her dream. I wish I had half as much nerve as she, to do the things I dream about doing.

Posted by chaosbound | August 5, 2008 5:53 PM
9

Will the concluding sentence of this post be mentioned in the City Auditor's report that Jonah just blogged about?

Posted by mattymatt | August 5, 2008 5:55 PM
10

Wow, I never really used to believe that owners and pets often end up looking alike, but then this story comes along!

Posted by Chris in Tampa | August 5, 2008 5:57 PM
11

Just imagine what $50,000 could do....feed an army of homeless people, help build a Habitat for Humanity house, help defeat Prop 8...and this bitch just makes more bitches?? UNbelievable.

Posted by behrmark | August 5, 2008 6:10 PM
12

I've never seen a blonde pit before.

Posted by Fnarf | August 5, 2008 6:11 PM
13

My only hope is that once the five Hell spawn dine on the trachea and innards of that hillbilly they can somehow magically make their way to Cap. Hill to savagely consume Mr. Savage and his loathsome poodle.

Posted by FRUITCAKEpuppet | August 5, 2008 6:16 PM
14

Where did that woman get 50 grand for this abomination? She looks like she can barely afford payments on her space at the Hooterville Trailer Park.

Posted by RainMan | August 5, 2008 6:30 PM
15

@11 - And just imagine what one could do with an army of homeless people!

Posted by Mike in Olympia | August 5, 2008 6:43 PM
16

I know it's silly thing to do, but she looks so happy, I really can't hate her.

Posted by Jennifer | August 5, 2008 7:02 PM
17

The US Army is already building an army of homeless people, one discharged Iraq veteran at a time.

Replenishing the army of homeless people they built in Vietnam, you know.

Posted by elenchos | August 5, 2008 7:25 PM
18

@14 "She sold her house in the United States to raise the $50,000"

Um. I'm not a lawyer, but isn't "a danger to oneself or [and] others" grounds for involuntary commitment? now cashing in your 401k for a pet might be a gray area, but selling your house is Prima facie Nuts, No more ifs or ands or buts,oh no (IMHO).

Posted by Epimetheus | August 5, 2008 7:45 PM
19

I wonder how many shelter dogs (pitts or otherwise) she could have helped with that $50,000 instead of buying 5 damn cloned puppies? This woman needs serious help.

Posted by Angela | August 5, 2008 8:01 PM
20

Have anyone listened to the bull story. It's creepy. If all 5 of these dogs turn out this way there will be a lot of biting.

And to everyone who thinks 50 K is too much money to spend on something like this... 14 millions just got paid for some cheesy photos of some 3 weeks old twins...

Posted by ok | August 5, 2008 8:04 PM
21

"I had to make sacrifices and I dream of the day, some day when everyone can afford to clone their pet because losing a pet is a terrible, terrible loss to anyone."

Yes, this is a great idea instead of just going to a shelter to pick up one of the millions of shelter dogs put down every year. Idiot.

Posted by hal | August 5, 2008 9:21 PM
22

Dude, the one to the right is the worst clone I've ever seen. Fuck.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 5, 2008 9:36 PM
23

The idiots are the millions and millions of Americans who don't spay and neuter their pets. That's why the shelters kill so many animals. And the millions and millions of Americans who will drop everything to look at pictures of Angelina's twins. That's why the $14 million.

The problem is not "them," the problem is us.

Posted by elenchos | August 5, 2008 9:37 PM
24

@23 YR DOIN IT RONG

Posted by Save it, bub | August 5, 2008 9:46 PM
25

Hi, stalker. Sorry about, you know, that you're a stalker. It must suck.

Posted by elenchos | August 5, 2008 10:10 PM
26

People mag paying 14 million for pics is a business decision. Put pics on mag, sell millions of mags, make way more than 14 million. Far far different from someone who sells her house to clone her dog.

Posted by hal | August 5, 2008 10:44 PM
27

Ummmm... Do people like this realize that actual cloning isn't like it is in sci-fi/action movies? Cloning your deceased pet is not going to in any way reincarnate the animal.

You may start out with the same raw genetic material, but each subsequent animal is going to have entirely unique pre- and post-natal development, experiences, memories, etc. Chances are, the clones aren't even going to LOOK exactly like the original animal, let alone behave the same.

So yeah, the clones aren't going to be duplicates of the original in any substantive way. The original "Booger" was a male, so given how unrecognizably unique each clone is going to be, this stupid cunt would have been just as well off had she harvested a little doggy-sperm and created a litter of hellspawn pups the "ol' fashion' way."

At least she'd be better off by forty-nine thousand and some odd dollars and a trip to South Korea, minus the bills for artificial insemination from the vet.

A similar situation was covered in the story of a cloned bull named "Second Chance," on "This American Life." Both the radio and TV shows had versions of the story.


Given their regular breeding restrictions, I wonder what the AKC has to say about cloning?

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell | August 5, 2008 11:00 PM
28

I'd feel less like a pedantic asshole if I'd realized before commenting that Dan linked directly to the T.A.L. story in his post.

I didn't follow the link initially because I was positive it was a reference to Pet Semetary.

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell | August 5, 2008 11:12 PM
29

P.S.: Dan, you really need to broaden the crusade to include schnauzers. Pit bulls may frequently snap and kill an unsuspecting bystander, but schnauzers are the assholes of the dog world.

Seriously--schnauzers are like furry little Nellie Olesons. They totally suck up to their owners, but the very instant everyone's back is turned they go right for your throat.

Posted by Hoyt Clagwell | August 5, 2008 11:25 PM
30

These are the booger beard years.

Posted by Grant Cogswell | August 5, 2008 11:29 PM
31

We're coming!

signed - the Pit Bulls

Posted by All Your Throats Are Belong To Us | August 6, 2008 12:07 AM
32

she looks like she could consume the puppy in four easy bites - and not even fart a lot

such a stupid person - I hope she is not raising children

Posted by Mary | August 6, 2008 5:39 AM
33

Pitbulls, clones, ugly women, Savage bitching at his readers. This is the prototype slog they'll hand out to interns.

Posted by Bob | August 6, 2008 6:20 AM
34

@31...You win.

Posted by D.A.S. | August 6, 2008 6:39 AM
35

@27: Pit bulls are not AKC registerable (although American Staffordshire Terriers are, and they're basically the same thing). AKC has a DNA program, so I am guessing that if they had the DNA of a dog on record, and that dog was cloned, they'd have to accept it as the same dog--but I doubt they're going to encourage any of that...

I think cloning a pet is silly too, but let's face it--most of us do at least SOME silly things with our money. Saying "you could have saved n to the 20th power homeless people" isn't productive.

Posted by Nora | August 6, 2008 6:57 AM
36

Ira Glass' pit bull did not approve this message.

Posted by Piney | August 6, 2008 7:23 AM
37

Regarding the general viciousness of pitbulls:

"McKinney said she was especially attached to Booger because he saved her life when she was attacked by another dog three times his size. The incident resulted in her left hand being severely injured, and also damaged her leg nerves and stomach. Doctors later reconstructed her hand and she spent part of her recovery in a wheelchair.

McKinney said Booger acted as more than just a canine companion as she recuperated from the attack.

Her dog pulled her wheelchair when its battery ran out. He opened her house door with his teeth and helped her take off her shoes and socks, even though she never trained him to do so.

"The most unusual thing about Booger was that he has a unique ability to reason," she said. "He seems to understand I couldn't use my hands."


Posted by eat my ass | August 6, 2008 7:48 AM
38

Wait- they reconstructed her hand? They can do that now?

Awesome!

Posted by Allie | August 6, 2008 8:19 AM
39

What's really offensive is that she spent so much money to bring 5 more pit bulls into the world when there are thousands in need of homes. Stupid wealthy cunt.

Posted by Carollani | August 6, 2008 8:33 AM
40

Ooooo! So cute! Those saggy chins and pink tongue and wrinkly eyes! And the puppy's cute too!

Posted by Vince | August 6, 2008 9:51 AM
41

@39: I'm going to go against the grain here. Temperament is HUGELY genetic. You can make a shy dog less shy through socialization, and work with a more aggressive dog through training and socialization, but in general, ESPECIALLY with breeds with temperament problems, you want to see at least one parent and get an idea of what to expect with the puppies (BTW, this works for mixed breeds too.) Yes, there are plenty of perfectly nice dogs available for adoption from shelters and rescue groups. There are also neurotic messes and time bombs, and not everyone is equipped to either identify those dogs or handle those dogs if they end up with them. And not every shelter is honest with you about the issues a dog may have.

Posted by Nora | August 6, 2008 10:35 AM
42

@39 for the win, @31 for runner up.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 6, 2008 10:37 AM
43

One of the problems with cloning is that the clone starts out with DNA, both cellular and mitochondrial which is damaged in direct proportion to the age of the original (sheep, dog, power-mad dictator) at the time the tissue was taken. So, even though that puppy is only a few days old, its DNA is that of an old dog nearing death. Cloned animals do not live as long as the original.

Posted by inkweary | August 6, 2008 12:15 PM
44

Dan, normally I'm a fan, but you made one serious error with this post. You're right, of course, to point out that this is a total obscenity, and the other comments have elaborated why the is so repulsive.

The one repulsive thing you did? Calling her fat. Saying "well, it looks like they won’t have to go [at her throat] one at a time" not only ignores the real issues, it's beneath you. Who cares if she's fat? A skinny woman, an average man, a one-legged hermaphrodite could have cloned their dogs, and it would have been equally repulsive.

Insulting someone's appearance rather than her actions is petty and unimaginative, and I expect more from you.

Posted by skinny girl tired of fat-bashing | August 7, 2008 3:35 AM
45

British and U.S. ewspapers are reporting today that she's possibly a suspected rapist from 1978 who fled to England during her bizarre trial in the U.S.

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_10127466?source=rv

Posted by G | August 7, 2008 10:16 AM
46
Posted by Monty | August 9, 2008 2:32 PM

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