Sex Natural Male Imprisonment
posted by on August 28 at 11:48 AM
The douchebag responsible for those awful Enzyte commercials—which feature “Smiling Bob,” who looks a lot like our “Lying Dino”—was sentenced to 25 years in prison yesterday.
Steve Warshak, 42, founder of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, also was ordered to pay $93,000 in fines. He was convicted in February on 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering.Federal prosecutors accused the company of bilking customers out of $100 million through a series of deceptive ads, manipulated credit card transactions and refusal to accept returns or cancel orders.
Remember, folks, herbal supplements will not make your dick bigger. Love the dick you’ve got because it’s all the dick you’re ever gonna get.
No, wait, that didn’t come out right…
Via Fleshbot.
Suckers.
Great, now for that creepy guy with the bad skin who has the psuedo-scientific infomercial for a bowel cleanser that is supposed to fix everything.
People are such suckers.
Oh noes, $93k fine on $100 million stolen? How will he ever be able to afford it? Why isn't the fine $100 million?
Dollars to donuts this asshole is out on the street within a year.
Whoops—sorry, Fnarf. Didn't link to the quoted story, where you'll read this:
His mom too, although she'll never serve any time. Geez, what a family.
my penis couldn't GET any bigger (or it would hurt mrs. solomon).
Great, now I can't get that Enzyte jingle out of my head.
Hah! Take that, Bob!
The folks behind annoying commercials are a bunch of dicks ... and that's a surprise ending?
Thank God. It should never have come to this though. It's pretty saddening to me that snake oil is openly and commonly sold on American TV. That popular sports events are funded by dick biggening spam.
I guess it's no different than the psychic ads that were more popular 20 years ago it's just that ingestion seems a bit more important.
When is Kevin Trudeau going to get locked up again?
@7 - You are talking about a different Mrs. Solomon than the one who named you Max, right?
Are you saying those pills don't work?
Dang, there goes my Christmas gift to Fnarf ...
@13: my mom's last name is not solomon.
I was in one of those ads. It was a fun shoot and "Smilin' Bob" was a nice guy, but I felt like a hypocrite and a moral coward from the minute i walked on set. Kind of like how I suspect Olympic athletes who take sponsorship dollars from McDonalds and Snickers (should) feel.
I don't need those stupid pills, I need THESE pills: http://www.penisreductionpills.com/
Shit, I forgot my usual comment about being hung like a baby's arm with an apple in his fist.
I don't need to know about your pervy ideas about sex, Fnarf.
Says the guy who shits in the bathtub and stews in it.
Ugh, you wrote that letter Will? Fucking sick.
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