Sports Get Ready for LiveSlogged Synchro!
posted by August 22 at 12:33 PMon
Yes, tonight brings us to our first and no doubt last ever liveblog of Olympic synchronized swimming. We have an expert, Jen Graves, who spent 15 years in the sport and is personally acquainted with several ex-Olympians. We also have an inexpert, me, who spent 9 years in the infinitely more dangerous, difficult, and taxing sport of artistic gymnastics and is not personally acquainted with a single ex-Olympian of any sort. Graves will provide intelligent commentary. I will mock ceaselessly. Be here at 12:30 am to witness the carnage.
And because she’s a sweet, sweet, woman, Ms. Graves has given me some pointers on how to mock without looking like an idiot, in the form of a Newsweek guide to spectating synchro. Dumb questions, according to Graves, include:
2. Why is there a solo event if it’s “synchronized” swimming?
Ah, yes. You feel clever, right? Please consider that a person can be synchronized with a piece of music before you speak of this commonly posed “mind bender.”
I beg to differ. The floor exercise, in gymnastics, is performed to a piece of music. But we do not call it “synchronized floor exercise.” Conversely, imagine if synchro diving was one person diving in time to a piece of music instead of two people diving simultaneously. Stupid! Solo synchro should be called water dancing, to correspond to ice dancing in the winter Olympics.
Smart questions, according to Graves, might include:
3. Why isn’t that American girl wearing noseclips like everybody else?
I know! Christina Jones, one half of the American duet that finished fifth this week in Beijing, does not wear anything to keep the water from going up her nose while she’s upside-down underwater. She’s one of only a few swimmers known to do this, but it’s not unheard of.
This is a smart question? My god, Graves, we are going to be giving each other black eyes by the end of the night!