Sex Where You At?
posted by August 12 at 14:57 PM
on
On the eleventh day of this month, around the sixth hour of the afternoon, somewhere near thirteenth and John, a new pleasure seizes my body. The pleasure is triggered by a sudden break in Jaylib’s track “The Red,” which is playing on my little music machine. Thirty seconds after the track’s first minute, the beat breaks down and there’s a split second of silence/emptiness. In that split second, the ghost of a beat appears. It is the phantom of the track. The phantom vanishes the moment the banging beat resumes. Realizing I’ve just heard the ghost of a beat—the sonic equivalent of a pretty face faintly reflected on a winter window—my throat expresses my pleasure with this sound: “uuuuummmmmm.”
A moment later, I notice someone is looking up at me. I look down at this person who is looking up at me. I see it is a young woman in booty shorts. Her back is turned to me. She is rising from her knees. I’m not sure if she was gardening or looking for something on the ground. I do, however, know what she’s thinking at that very moment: My expression of pleasure (my “uuuuummmmmm”) was triggered by the sight of her ass in short shorts. She gives me the look of accusation. I’ve done something bad. It’s totally rude and unacceptable. Because I do not feel like challenging and correcting her hard reading of the situation, and because men should not look spineless in moments like this, I proudly plead guilty and give her this smile: “Yes, I enjoyed the sight of your ass. It’s the blessing of the cosmos. Thank you, thank you, and have a good evening.”
Anyway, the incident recalled an old rap lyric:
the man- Can I get up all up in it?
the woman- Boy, you nasty.
the man- Girl, I’m talking about the track, now where you at?
Comments
Well, we can plainly see where you're at, Chuckles - in your usual contortionists position of hand in pants and head up ass. Where ELSE would you be?
She seemed about as convinced as Sloggers are when you try to pass off images of tennis players as a dialectic on the human condition.
Misogynist!
did you SAY it or just SMILE it?
you should have said it.
Yeah, I know, it's rough to get caught looking.
The question is, do your wife and children know what a fucktard you are?
Best thing I've read all day. Good story.
Fuck all of you Charles haters, this is solid gold.
one of my favorite albums of all time. i've worn out 2 copies of the cd and have bought it in various formats 5 times.
but you know, chuck, the version of "The Red" on the reissue isn't the original version. They were forced to change it due copyright infringement on one of the samples.
i think you can still get the o.g. version on itunes.
either way, people need to step up and support this album for the genius it us.
@9: how do you "wear out" a CD?
scratch the fuck out of it? you can grind a new surface with CD doctor, you know.
a penny saved...
She was a big woman. BIG woman. Her name was Bertha. Bertha Butt. She was one of the Butt sisters. He didn't care. He looked up at her and said:
"Sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me
sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me!
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Does C. Mudede, good writer though he may be, ever creep out real severely anyone but me?
My guess would be "yes."
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