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Monday, July 14, 2008

Wow.

posted by on July 14 at 11:20 AM

Um… Maybe not the way to build a bridge with women who worry you’re not the most enlightened guy on gender issues?

ABC News’ Sunlen Miller reports that at a Chicago fundraiser last night, comedian Bernie Mac said his “little nephew came to me and he said, ‘Uncle, what’s the difference between a hypothetical question and a realistic question?’ “I said, ‘I don’t know,’ but I said, ‘I’ll tell you what you do. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she’d make love to the mailman for $50,000.’”

Mac’s wife, in the joke, said she [would] sleep “with anyone” for $50,000, and Mac’s daughter said the same.

Explained Mac: “Hypothetically speaking, we should have $100,000. But realistically speaking we live with two hos.

Obama attempted to smooth things over a few minutes later, saying the comedian needed “to clean up [his] act next time. This is a family affair.” But then he explained that he was only joking: “By the way, I’m just messing with you, man.”

In fairness, Obama’s campaign did later issue a statement that Obama did not condone Mac’s use of the word “hos” to describe his wife and daughter. Still, compared to the campaign’s outraged, instantaneous condemnation of that New Yorker cover, Obama’s reaction was both mild and late.

RSS icon Comments

1

Um, this is a COMEDIAN Bernie Mac, who frequently says stuff like that.

Man, you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel today, ECB - angling for a job at the New Yorker?

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 11:31 AM
2

Ahhh yes, more important substantive campaign issues once again courtesy of the crack team "Eli & Erica" at the Stranger. Maybe you two should find out how many people Obama slept with before marrying his wife? That's top on the minds of today's electorate.

Posted by Wow | July 14, 2008 11:32 AM
3

I'll never understand why Obama freely associates himself with the likes of Bernie Mac. The potential for disaster is huge and obvious.

Posted by Matthew | July 14, 2008 11:33 AM
4

too bad ECB's currency is trading right around the level of the Serbian Dinar nowadays, otherwise folks would take her more seriously.

shame really

Posted by ho' know | July 14, 2008 11:35 AM
5

Is it offensive because they're using an ebonic word? What else do you call someone who takes money for sex? Maybe he should have used the more politically correct term for a woman who sleeps with people for money, or, "whore". Whats the big f'ing deal here?

(I bet you thought I was going to say "wife", didn't you?)

Posted by Banna | July 14, 2008 11:35 AM
6

@3 - because he's funny.

Sorry, but Red Skelton was all booked up for the McSame campaign.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 11:36 AM
7

your a few days late ECB.

Posted by chicago | July 14, 2008 11:39 AM
8

seriously.... its bernie mac. Wouldn't you expect him to say something like that?

Posted by anthony | July 14, 2008 11:40 AM
9

You are so fucking sad.

Posted by w7ngman | July 14, 2008 11:41 AM
10

@1,

And that's why he shouldn't have appeared at the event, period. He was also heckled by a man for what he said, but clearly ECB is just oversensitive.

@5,

Yes, well it's certainly completely acceptable for a man to call his own wife and daughter 'hoes and it certainly wouldn't reflect badly on him to have raised a daughter who is willing to prostitute herself. I still wonder how much money it would take to get Bernie Mac to fuck the mailman.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 11:43 AM
11

I don't get the outrage. It's a joke(!) about women who will sleep with men for money. Prostitute. Whore. Harlot. Strumpet (I love that word). Ho.

Stop trying to generate outrage where it doesn't exist. You'll lose even the few people who still occasionally take you seriously.

Posted by bigyaz | July 14, 2008 11:44 AM
12

Is this the bullshit we have to deal with until November? Really? REALLY?

Posted by monkey | July 14, 2008 11:44 AM
13

This is the least interesting story I've ever heard.

Posted by Ryan on Summit | July 14, 2008 11:49 AM
14

Somehow I doubt that Bernie Mac writes his material with the delicate sensibilites of easily-offended uber-PC white female journalists in mind.

If anything, the joke might have been too risque for the moderate audiences that he's trying to court these days. But then again, you always get pissed off when he tries to court the moderates...

Posted by Hernandez | July 14, 2008 11:50 AM
15

This story is immediately disqualified from the least-interesting- story-anyone's-ever-heard competition by the instigating joke, which was pretty damn funny.

Posted by David Schmader | July 14, 2008 11:52 AM
16

I dunno... I'm generally pro-Obama and I've disagreed with Erica mostly. (I wouldn't say anti-Erica because I have no idea why she deserves so much personal vitriol.)

But I think he's got to clean up his opening acts. Whatshername who called Hillary a whore should have been enough of a warning sign.

I can sort of see having comics who don't suck on but it's just not worth it. I mean yeah funny comedians make fun of sex, women, race, hillbillies, mexicans, gays and well that's comedy, if you're uptight then do something else. But is that the right warmup for Obama?

Also: it's an old tired joke.

Posted by daniel | July 14, 2008 11:54 AM
17

I'm guessing ECB didn't like Kanye West's video of Golddigger either.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 11:56 AM
18

one little favor: could you *please* drop the "um... wow" thing? you really need to find more creative ways to express your shock/outrage when you find evidence that obama hates women. at this point, it really should come as no surprise to you.

Posted by brandon | July 14, 2008 12:00 PM
19

Ugh. I hate the thing in politics where candidates are taken to task for not loudly enough condemning othere people's statements or behavior. It's just so dumb.

Posted by yuiop | July 14, 2008 12:00 PM
20

Why do feminists hate black comedy routines? Is it because feminism is rooted in white women of privileged deigning what is feminist and what is not on the dollar of a man while black comedy is rooted in humorous vulgarity that is unacceptable in white society?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 12:01 PM
21

Actually it's your coverage of the issue that's late. Obama's disagreement with the comedian was immediate, and his campaign followed up. Ergo... are you going to vote for McCain?

Posted by Trevor | July 14, 2008 12:02 PM
22

What's interesting is how that anyone who objects to casual degradation of women, which is really distressingly prevalent, gets mocked as "uber-PC" and humorless.

Maybe that's why it's so prevalent. If you object, you're lame. If you don't, it continues. (Blah blah blah, victimhood, ECB brings it on herself, etc.)

Posted by Abby | July 14, 2008 12:03 PM
23

Okay, Stranger staff - you can admit it now. ECB isn't a real person, right? She's just a character you created to see how much you could tick off readers. Kind of like TV-Colbert vs. real-Colbert. I get it! Funny!

Posted by Georgia Guy | July 14, 2008 12:03 PM
24

the headline for this post, "Wow." perfectly illustrates the pathetic HRC supporter mindset.

Nobody really cares about this story. He's a comedian blah blah blah. The media sucks blah blah.

But HRC supporters are shocked, SHOCKED! because Obama isn't bending over backwards to "win them over" ECB's posts are always like this - stunned surprise that Obama doesn't see militant irrational feminists as God's gift to the electorate and his key to the white house.

Erica if you don't like Obama, vote for McCain. Otherwise, stop feigning outrage. Here's the thing - your vote and the voters like you are JUST SIMPLY NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH FOR OBAMA. He knows, at the end of the day, you're with him. Or if you don't vote you're more hopeless than even everyone here believes.

Posted by gawd | July 14, 2008 12:04 PM
25

Lenny Bruce did this routine better, when he talked about what is a prostitute. If you're a writer, and you sell out for the money, people say you prostituted yourself. A guy with a beard and a typewriter -- "I'm a prostitute." "Get out of here! And send up that bellhop again -- kid's a little strange."

Posted by --MC | July 14, 2008 12:05 PM
26

shitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfuckertits

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 14, 2008 12:05 PM
27

McCain on Friday described the Social Security system's method of "paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today" as "an absolute disgrace" and went on to say that "it's got to be fixed." He added "I want to be president to do the hard things," although he gave no specific proposals for how he intended to fix Social Security, nor did he specify what "hard things" he was proposing to do. Social Security has functioned the way he described it since its inception.

On Wednesday he told a Pittsburgh crowd that he gave the names of the Steelers lineup to his North Vietnamese captors in place of the names of his squad mates, not only contradicting his book "Faith of Our Fathers," which claimed that he gave the names of the Green Bay Packers, but also contradicting his new-found belief in the efficacy of torture for extracting useful information from prisoners.

And while the Phil Gramm gaffe about America being a nation of "whiners" got some press last week, few in the media went the extra mile and looked up Gramm's long record of involvement in banking deregulation, both in his Senate career (most notably with the repeal of Depression-era Glass-Steagall regulations) and his subsequent work as a lobbyist for the very firms that precipitated the current crisis. So McCain's Chief Economic Advisor & National Campaign Co-Chairman not only has no sympathy for the plight of Americans losing their homes to foreclosure and their livelihoods to tumbling markets, he actively engineered this disaster and profited from it.

See? These are the kind of missteps you could dig up on McCain if you tried. Maybe not as as salacious as a dirty joke that Bernie Mac told, but you can't have everything.

Posted by flamingbanjo | July 14, 2008 12:07 PM
28

To be fare to Erica, the cable news channels also covered this story, last week.

Posted by elswinger | July 14, 2008 12:11 PM
29

I have to add that I am disappointed that Erica has not come out against the New Yorker cover of Barack and Michelle Obama. I guess her hard feelings about Hillary's loss runs deep.

Posted by elswinger | July 14, 2008 12:13 PM
30

And here again, ECB, like so many Clinton supporters, fails to grasp the reality of the situation:

1. Obama had a comedian at a fund raiser who told an inappropriate joke.

2. McCain, the man Obama is running against, called his wife a trollop and a cunt in public.

These are your two choices for President in November. These are your only two choices for President in November. Which one do you want?

The religious nutjobs have a saying that has kept Republicans in the White House for 9 out of the last 14 presidential terms: "I'd like to vote for Jesus Christ, but since he's not running I'll vote for the Republican." Just replace "Jesus Christ" with "Mary Daly" and "Republican" with "Democrat" and that's the slogan you need to learn, Erica.

Get in line behind Obama, the Democratic nominee for President, or you'll get the trollop/cunt guy. At this point, those are your only two choices.

Posted by Judah | July 14, 2008 12:14 PM
31

@20,

Yes, and there are no black feminists. In fact, black women don't exist.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 12:17 PM
32

It's not an original joke. In the versions I heard years ago, the kid asks his mom if she'd sleep with Robert Redford, his sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt, and his brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise, all for a million dollars.

The punch line is "Realistically we're living with two whores and a queer."

Posted by eclexia | July 14, 2008 12:19 PM
33

The joke is an old one.
Bernie Mac is not Obama.
In this culture, it is pointless to hold politicians hostage to comedians (see Al Franken).
On the other hand, Obama has a history of not vetting his opening acts (hello donnie). He should have known better if he was concerned about the comedians content. A professional would have required a script before the deal was signed.
That being said what is interesting is that Obama felt he had to both criticize and then disown his criticism, thereby attempting to mollify both sides of the argument. Amateurish.

Posted by LMSW | July 14, 2008 12:21 PM
34

@22 This isn't about objecting to casual denigration of women in broader society, it's about ECB trying to convince us (herself?) that Obama hates women, using the three-day old example of dumb joke at a campaign rally that his campaign already condemned.

If the point of this post was to object to the casual degredation of women in society, that would be one thing. But it's not.

Posted by Hernandez | July 14, 2008 12:21 PM
35

When Winston Churchill told this joke, nobody said he was unelectable.

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

Posted by Glenn Fleishman | July 14, 2008 12:23 PM
36

Bitches aint shit but tricks and hoes.

Posted by D. O. Double G | July 14, 2008 12:26 PM
37

mac has been telling this joke for nearly ten years, if not more. so yeah, maybe obama should have know his routine a little better. but the same mac also had a brief but successful run with a "family-oriented" sitcom a few years ago and is a (once?) hugely popular comedian in the black community and beyond. maybe the joke went over just fine with the particular audience. maybe it sounds bad on a sunday morning pundit roundtable.

or maybe charles can explain to ECB how this was actually a joke about the natural end of capitalism. love of mailman = love of work.

Posted by chops | July 14, 2008 12:27 PM
38

@Abby, Kesh, Erica: This utterly and completely fails to register on the outrage feminist meter for me. I don't understand why you would be upset about a joke, especially one that is kinda lame.

And to be fair, he didn't use an inappropriate term. People who sleep with other people for money are ho's (man or woman..ala 'dude is a ho'). And if Bernie got heckled, I am sure its on par with when comedians say something crazy and everyone is like "ohhhhh damn..."

But here, I have an *actually offensive* feminist joke for you, one I am sure you have heard before:

Q: "What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?"
A: "Nothing, you already told her twice."

There you go. Now you can be pissed about something. But a 'ho joke? Really? I just don't get the outrage.

Posted by Original Monique | July 14, 2008 12:31 PM
39

There seems emerging evidence that Obama has no sense of humor. OK, more than emerging, since it goes back to Fred Armisen on SNL.

It has nothing to do with ex- (or even- horrors, current?) Clinton supporters. It has to do with our candidate and making sure he doesn't come across as an intellectual stuffed shirt, which is a losing ticket every time. That's the story.

Posted by Big Sven | July 14, 2008 12:42 PM
40

@OM & Hernandez: It still bothers me, detached from whatever Erica is doing. Just because it's an old crap joke doesn't mean it should be explained away- in fact, that just makes it even more lame. It's really edgy to recycle hack material from decades ago and talk about women/theoretical female family members in a way that McCain would enjoy, isn't it? If comedians were just a little more creative, they could come up with something way better and we wouldn't be having this stupid debate.

That he thinks it was a good joke to tell at a fundraiser bothers me too. What was even the point?

Posted by Abby | July 14, 2008 12:53 PM
41

I prefer the Mac to the PC...

Posted by michael strangeways | July 14, 2008 12:58 PM
42

@40 Fair enough. I'm certainly not going to defend Bernie Mac's material.

Posted by Hernandez | July 14, 2008 1:06 PM
43

@31, the mere thought that you deny that black women exist or that black women don't long to be feminists is merely an outcropping of your institutional racist and pro segregation mentality, which is inherent being a privileged white woman.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:13 PM
44

I have to agree with OM @38, even if Abby correctly says @40 that Bernie Mac probably wasn't the best choice.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 1:20 PM
45

Abby, you must really hate sarah silverman.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:25 PM
46

I thought Bernie Mac was a failed mortgage bank???

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 1:33 PM
47

Kesh, do you cry yourself to sleep at night thinking about how much you want to beat (off) Bellevue Ave? I'll bet you do.

Posted by where did you buy your magic wand? | July 14, 2008 1:33 PM
48

@46 Lmao

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:37 PM
49

What a bunch of tight asses.

Posted by Vince | July 14, 2008 1:39 PM
50

@43 What is this "longing to be feminists" nonsense? Is it because they can't afford the entry fee into the Feminist Club? Seriously, what is the difference between "longing to" be a feminist and being a feminist? Also, I'm pretty sure @31 was sarcastic.

Posted by poo poo | July 14, 2008 1:43 PM
51

@31: Kesh, you've seen this, right?

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/04/a_reach_and_a_miss#c1002158

Up for everyone to see, and use. We'll all be a lot happier after you two just meet up and get it done.

Posted by pretty please? | July 14, 2008 1:49 PM
52

@50

Really?!?!? OMG!? SHE WAS SARCASTIC?!?! I HAD NO IDEA! IM LITERALLY SHITTING MYSELF WITH EMBARRASSMENT OVER THE MERE THOUGHT SHE WAS BEING SARCASTIC! YOU MUST BE SOME KIND GENIUS!

you fucking cretin.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:49 PM
53

@51, My feminist girlfriend would disprove highly of this action.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:55 PM
54

disapprove...she wouldnt contest the factualness of it happening.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 1:58 PM
55

@38,

For the record, I'm more outraged by the ECB bashing. If anyone else had posted this, there would be honest responses to it. Schmader illustrated this point last week or the week before when he reposted a story ECB had posted. His post got honest responses, ECB got flamed.

I also really don't give a shit about Obama's response. He had to say something, but he couldn't come off as humorous. Either way, I expect that he won't be invited to another Obama event.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 2:07 PM
56

@51,

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm not interested in contracting herpes. Or fucking men who look like they're pregnant.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 2:11 PM
57

I'm sure Obama has time to screen all of Bernie Mac's jokes before hand.

So your problem is the apology should have been quicker? What a stretch, you really trying hard to make Obama out as a sexist. This is alot of reactionary bullshit.

Posted by Todd | July 14, 2008 2:12 PM
58

@55,

He couldn't come off as unhumorous and Bernie Mac won't be invited back.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 2:13 PM
59

@56:

1)I'm pretty sure no man will fuck you because you're such a frigid bitch

2)If you could get a man to fuck you, you'd probably take any one you could get, herpes or not

3)How do you know what BA looks like?

Posted by preggers | July 14, 2008 2:16 PM
60

Your guys' falling back into insulting my sexuality is truly original and awe inspiring. How do you do it? Although no one should be surprised. Look at whom you're defending.


@59,

I have my ways.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 2:20 PM
61

Maybe I am pregnant. or perhaps I'm a hedonist. Either way I don't see why your preference in men matters if you're laying on your stomach.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 2:21 PM
62

you have your ways? like the flickr pool? cmon, theres only so many photos of me with my 5 month outtie belly button belly floating around. unless, *gasp*, we work together!

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 2:23 PM
63

C'mon let's not be to hard on ECB. She'll still a little singed about the Democratic process being circumvented and HRC was robbed like the folks in Florida in 2000, blah blah blah...

Posted by Krizpie Kreme | July 14, 2008 2:30 PM
64

@60: Your ways? And like BA said at 61, what does it matter if you're laying on your stomach? You're just putting up a front at this point, I'll be you've already sent the email. Obviously BA is willing to hit it from the back - you just hit the jackpot!

By the way, even if people hate Bellevue Ave on here I think they hate you at least a little bit more.

Posted by lesser of two evils | July 14, 2008 2:32 PM
65

@45: at least she's presenting it differently. Bernie Mac is just boring. And hacky. And boring.

Posted by Abby | July 14, 2008 2:36 PM
66

I tend to be with Original Monique on this one. Normally I roll my eyes at the extremely predictable chorus of "that's not sexist!!11!" or "women are feminism's worst enemy!" or "ECB/kesh needs to get laid!" from the commenters every time ECB post something vaguely feminist.

But, in this case, uh, I don't see what the big deal is. Obama's people should have exerted a bit more control over Bernie Mac's material since what works in a comedy venue might not be appropriate for a political fundraiser. But, I think to make any further extrapolation about what this means regarding Obama's view of women or his efforts to reach out to women voters is an enormous reach.

Posted by Julie | July 14, 2008 2:52 PM
67

I immediately thought of the Winston Churchill joke too.

The outrage is stupid, and, in the case of the Obama campaign, I think not even sincere. It's just an unfortunate tap dance they have to go through, because the stupid outrage is also predictable outrage. Bernie Mac is a comedian - whether or not you think he's funny is beside the point - and Obama is a politician. Obama hears what Bernie says and he knows that it's going to offend people and he can't offend people, so he has to say something. But he himself isn't really offended, because it's just not offensive, any more than when Churchill says it.

But it's supposed to be offensive to say "ho" in any context, so it's "offensive" that he would not fall in line and beat the crap out of Bernie with the same speed and gusto he did to Don Imus, whose comment truly was offensive.

People are morons.

Posted by Phoebe | July 14, 2008 2:53 PM
68

@56, you have reached a new low.

If (big IF) BA has herpes, and you are aware of the fact, your divulging the fact makes you a low, low bitch.

If he does not have herpes, you have not only scandalously libeled him, but you have also caused pain for the people who do have herpes, all of which make you a low, low bitch.

Sadly, keshmeshi, the only outcome in this instance is that you're a low, low bitch.

And BTW, if you read Dan's column with any regularity, you'll know that a vast fraction of the sexually active populace carries one or more strains of the herpes virii. One would do well to simply assume that their random partners carry it.

Shame on you.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 2:56 PM
69

JTC, you're neat and all, but...considering the shit that's being slung at keshmeshi right now, you should probably stay out of it. The random socks trotting out the old-school attacks on feminists is nasty enough, really.

Posted by Abby | July 14, 2008 3:10 PM
70

@69, Abby, you're neat and all, too...but if kesh is being attacked for all the wrong reasons (which may indeed be the case), the way for her to win hearts and minds is not to be a low, low bitch.

You've never sunk to such depths, and people listen to you. They may not agree with you, but the rarely flame you because you are reasoned and you marshal your arguments compellingly.

Flinging churlish and hurtful insults as defense against same is no way to win the battle, never mind the war.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 3:13 PM
71

@70: no, it isn't. But this whole seventy-comment conversation has made me more grumpy than the Adebayor transfer saga (you want Henry's salary? play like Henry for more than a season and we'll talk), and that's saying something. Call out kesh, but call out the socks at 47 and 59, too.

Posted by Abby | July 14, 2008 3:20 PM
72

right on #27
i'm sittin here thinkin ' can i take four to eight years of this shit ?'. the kids in our andbox continue to make mountains out of molehills while the real obscenity of the continued sacking of the american people rates a mere sigh.
and to echo #29.. erica was there nothing in your finely honed feminist sensibility that was even slightly perturbed by the new yorker's comic portrayal of michelle obama as a throwback to the scary gun totin high haired sisters of the late 60's and 70's. or is any sexist jab at michelle obama moot because they're winning ? or are there other reasons why you cannot find or comment on any examples of sexism thrown her way.
ecb please, please, PLEASE figure out who the enemy is and direct your energies towards them. use your limited powers for good or don't use them at all

Posted by reverend dr dj riz | July 14, 2008 3:21 PM
73

I think the key difference between me and kesh here is that she has conviction in what she says cause she knows all about me and who I am apparently. I say the stuff I say because I enjoy having a sparring partner on slog and what I say get's her attention and reaction without fail.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 3:22 PM
74

@68,

You're doing a great job proving that you're not a misogynistic fuckwit. Where were you when BA insulted my family and outright stated that my father molested me? None of which is supported by any facts or anything I have ever said here. It's very interesting that male commenters, and I'm talking the regulars, not the sockpuppets, can say the most vile, misogynistic shit and we hear not a peep from you.

M-I-S-O-G-Y-N-I-S-T-I-C H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E.

And, for your information, BA, in his typical fashion of offering information that no one wants to hear, volunteered the fact that he has herpes. I was mocking him for that, not for having it.


I'll conclude this by saying that I will never play nice with fuckheads who spew hateful shit. Never. You are applying a different standard to me and I do not accept it. And I find it highly doubtful that if a regular commenter hurled homophobic insults that you would just take it.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:40 PM
75

@71, OK, you forced my hand...we are now going to Slog Defcon 1.

ATTENTION! THE FOLLOWING ARE DIRECT ORDERS:

1. @47 and @59...you will immediate cease your sock-cloaked, misogynistic bullshit. If you do not, you will be shipped off on an irrevocable lifetime contract to play for the Milton Keynes Dons reserves. This is, I assure you, a fate worse than death. You have been warned.

2. @ 73, you are hereby ordered to pick up the phone or the mouse and ask keshmeshi out on a date. Keshmeshi is further ordered to accept this date. BA, you will hold keshmeshi, cuddle with keshmeshi, bill and coo with keshmeshi and then...well, man, both of you know what needs to be done. Tab A, Slot B, and hot showers afterward.

THESE ARE DIRECT ORDERS! THEY ARE NOT OPTIONAL! GET CRACKIN'!

I have spoken.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 3:41 PM
76

@73,

So what explains your hurling of sexist, racist, and otherwise bigoted comments from the second you set foot here? But it's nice to know that you're only stated reason for commenting is to get a reaction from little old me. If you don't see how that's pathetic, I really don't know what I can do for you.

I also happened to ignore ecce homo for quite a while before I unloaded on him several months ago. That does not mean that he and you are not scum.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:43 PM
77

First off, this is a pretty old story and the Obama campaign did immediately distance themselves.

Secondly, what's your point? Compared to John McCain calling his wife a cunt, I really don't see where your concern about Obama and gender issues is coming from. Maybe you should talk it out with someone.

Posted by Kim M. | July 14, 2008 3:44 PM
78

@75,

Nice try, asshole. A day late and a dollar short.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:44 PM
79

@78, Oh, well!

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 3:47 PM
80

@79,

What? Aren't you going to call out BA for saying my father molested me or are you not allowed to attack men in the same way that you attacked me?

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:50 PM
81

@80, I did not see that post, so I cannot comment on its content or context. But if it was done in a particularly mean-spirited way, than, "Shame on you, BA! You are a low, low bitch."

Did that scratch your itch?

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 3:52 PM
82

@81,

It's a start.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 3:54 PM
83

I have the HSV-1, the kissing herp.

And I don't post those just for you, but I post them knowing full well they will spark a knee jerk reaction from some people. Don't flatter yourself into thinking you're like Damien and it's all for you. you just happen to be the person who disagrees with me the most on almost every subject and the manner in which i conduct myself.

and are kidding yourself into thinking you don't have fun believing you're hitting homers all day off of what I say?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 3:57 PM
84

Slog posting Obama as a lawn jockey: A-okay!
Slog repeating Mecca joke about HRC does not have a penis: A-okay!!

Slog posters saying BHO says to HRC come lick my ass: A-okay !!!

Slog posters saying HRC should approach Obama on all fours: A-okay!!!!

Bernie MAc talking about hos at BHO fundraiser: A-okay if you you quickly "distance" yourself.

New Yorker satirizing racist comments about Obama w/ cover:
shocking horrible shameless racism.

You know, they maybe someone can go cut off THEIR balls.

So, you know, we preserve this very clear etiquette line we are all maintaining.

Posted by PC | July 14, 2008 4:01 PM
85

@83,

I do have a great deal of fun. I have a great deal of fun spurring you on to putting your foot in it. The shit that you say on your own gets magnified by ten whenever I manage to piss you off. Keep on keepin' on.

It's also adorable how you think I'm the only one who disagrees with you on everything. Haven't enough lurkers attacked you to make it clear how you're perceived? Jesus. At least lurkers who attack me are merely those insecure dickheads who see an attack on an individual man as an attack on all men.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 4:02 PM
86

keshmeshi, if you can't admit your father molested you then when will the healing begin? Just admit that most women don't enjoy molestation humor and that men and women aren't equal in this regard.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 4:02 PM
87

@86,

And that's exactly what I was talking about @85. Keep it up, Bellevue Ave. Show everyone what you are.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 4:04 PM
88

@82, all right, then!

I'm not, to the best of my knowledge a misogynistic hypocrite. Hypocrite, probably -- no, definitely -- but not misogynistic.

I do tend to be set off by people who go bat shit over perceived slights on anonymous blog threads. So I admit to liking to poke you with a stick because you react in such an OTT way sometimes.

But it's not because you're a chick. If I see a guy doing it, I'll put a stick in his eye, too.

keshmeshi, you handle things the way you want to. Just don't expect everyone to be a fan of how you do so. I don't expect everyone here to find me charming, so I don't demand equal treatment from anyone. Seeking fairness, balance or even well-thought-out opining in this silly place is only going to drive you insane(r).

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 4:06 PM
89

You didn't read what I wrote kesh. You arent the only person that responds, you are just the most prolific one.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 4:07 PM
90

72 wins. As a white feminist, I have little hope in the white feminists with media access backing up Michelle Obama anytime soon. Many [white] feminists only seem interested in hyping the woman-as-victim trope, and black women are usually only mentioned as the author of an awesome book they read that really opened their minds. Unfortunately many [white] feminists then go on to act as spokesperson for black women by proxy on the basis of reading that book or going to hear bell hooks talk or something.

Fortunately the Obamas can take care of themselves, and I think they're doing a great job - I wanted to post Obama's entire response to Bernie Mac so people can see what Erica edited out:

About 15 minutes later, Obama tried to smooth things over with a joke of his own.

"We can't afford to be divided by race. We can't afford to be divided by region or by class and we can't afford to be divided by gender, which by the way, that means, Bernie, you've got to clean up your act next time," Obama said. "This is a family affair. By the way, I'm just messing with you, man."

The incident drew response from Obama's campaign, which criticized Mac for his choice of material.

"Sen. Obama told Bernie Mac that he doesn't condone these statements and believes what was said was inappropriate," spokeswoman Jen Psaki said in a statement after the event.

I think this is actually a great example of calling someone out on an offensive "joke" without resorting to labeling them as a hopeless dickhead.

Posted by asteria | July 14, 2008 4:09 PM
91

@59 is a hopeless dickhead.

Posted by asteria | July 14, 2008 4:15 PM
92

Too stupid for satire? Wasn't Mac satirizing his own family?(I'm not going to read the million anti-ECB posts first, sorry.)

Posted by itstheSatireStupid | July 14, 2008 4:16 PM
93

@88

Your comments @68 say otherwise. If you want to believe that you're not sexist even as you overlook shitty behavior by men and lambast women for the same shit, go ahead and do that.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 4:35 PM
94

@93, You deserved every bit of that. And if someone with a penile unit posts something that caustic, I will take it under review to call them out, too.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 4:40 PM
95

Kesh, If you don't want vile things said about you, then accept that this is simply how men treat one another and this is actually what we say to one another. The fact that you can have the same inane insults sent your way should make you feel more like an equal. You do want to be equal, right?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 4:45 PM
96

@94,

And you never actually do.


@95,

I'm well aware that that's not how men interact.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 14, 2008 4:49 PM
97

Bullshit. BULLFUCKING SHIT! This is how almost all men interact; one instance of oneupmanship after another and more gratuitous and outrageous at every turn.

You don't know what it is like to be a man so don't tell me you know how we interact.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 14, 2008 4:54 PM
98

@96, of course I do. I've called Mr. Poe "naughty," for instance.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 5:03 PM
99

@95 is correct and kesh obviously has led a very sheltered life.

Seriously, if you've never worked in construction or farming, maybe you don't realize that most male-only workplaces are ... more than slightly caustic.

We usually just say "grow a thicker skin" when people complain about it.

But pretending it doesn't exist won't make it so.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 14, 2008 5:15 PM
100

Bellevue Ave @95 and 97,

I don't know any woman, feminist or not, who wants to be the equal of an emotional retard. Just because you and almost all men you know feel like they have to one-up each other doesn't mean that all men enjoy that, nor does it disprove keshmeshi's point @96.

I don't even know why I bother getting involved in this, because for the Bellevue Ave/keshmeshi back and forth is just tedious and drags down the potential discussion that could happen in the comments section. Perhaps you two are equals, but being equally shitty is not a good thing in my opinion.

However, I don't understand why Mr. Cornball has jumped into this; I am disappointed in your ad hominem attack against keshmeshi @68. Your post would have been better if you had just laid off the name-calling. Plus I'm afraid you're just adding fuel to the fire.

Posted by asteria | July 14, 2008 5:24 PM
101

@97 actually the interaction you describe as "how almost all men interact" is more typical of insecure adolescent males and those older males who haven't matured.

Posted by LMSW | July 14, 2008 5:33 PM
102

for the love of satan, wtf are you people going on about? "almost all men" is a group that includes me and almost all the men i know, and almost all of us stopped behaving that way in the 10th grade, if not much earlier. you don't need to work in construction or farming (seriously, wtf????) to understand how men behave. if you're going to make an ass of yourself, own it. don't take your entire gender down with you. fuck.

Posted by brandon | July 14, 2008 5:51 PM
103

@100,

My dear asteria,

First of all, congrats on hitting 100 in this deeply meaningful post. You have become a historical part of history.

As to the post you reference, I'd just finished listening to Marianne Faithfull's "Why'd Ya Do It?" which is, in no small manner, the ultimate feminist cri de coeur. In it, Faithfull accuses another woman of being "a low bitch." So the term was in my head and...ooops!...out it popped (pooped?).

I agree it's unnecessarily harsh. But I swear to god, those two have worked my last nerve, and when keshmeshi came out with accusations of herpes and male pregnancy, well, I'm sorry, but all bets were off. I fired my Katushas.

So I'll gladly rescind "low bitch" and replace it with "hair-trigger loon." I know BA is getting keshmeshi's goat, but, my Christ, she ought to just ignore the bugger. As it stands, she risks appearing as a strident, humorless...hair-trigger loon.

My hope is that we can now all move forward in one giant hands-across-America, gender-blind lovefest.

And the next male that causes any problems here is going to get my full-on "equal rights" treatment...because on one point, at least, keshmeshi is right: asshole see no gender.

Carry on.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 6:06 PM
104

The ladies, they get worked up. It's because of the menses. That's why they wear the pantsuits, because the kotex could fall out.

Thank God we don't have to worry about one of them with the Nuclear football. At least for now.

Posted by Menses......menses | July 14, 2008 6:28 PM
105

@104, you are an unenlightened troll. "Menses" is the actual flow of blood and cellular debris.

You, in your unequaled knobbery, most likely meant Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PDD) which is caused by changes in hormones, stress, etc., and which is most certainly NOT universally suffered by all women, leaving your sweeping generalization as to the fitness of women to hold the Presidency tattered in the wind.

While PDD is the source of great difficulty for the sufferer, at least she knows of what she suffers -- the causes of sheer buffoonery, such as you present, are yet unknown and thus you must cope without hope of a cure.

Good day to you, sir.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 6:49 PM
106

Bellevue Ave is a fucktard, thank you # 102 for so eloquently stating what many of us men already know and can only hope that BA will one day learn.

Will in Seattle continues to prove that he's an out of touch idiot who wants so desperately to hang with the cool kids but, again, fails miserably.

JTC, you've disappointed me but I still like you.

keshmeshi, fwiw, I think you handled yourself pretty well. Kudos.

I also don't understand why people have the hatred for ECB, I really don't. I guess it's okay to do the rah rah follow-the-leader bit if you're a democrat too? Fuck, I thought only the Republican dumbasses did that. Somebody's gotta call out the hypocrisy and ECB does a great job of it.

P.S> Asteria and Abby you guys are top notch.

Posted by Donolectic | July 14, 2008 6:56 PM
107

@106, I've been a bad Cornball. Please forgive me.

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 14, 2008 7:04 PM
108

Well, that was a whole lot of unnecessarily negative energy that would have been much better spent on some other blog taking a dump on McSame, railing against torture, or trying to save the 4th Amendment.

Can we keep our eyes on the ball, people?

(Oh, and #67 for the win.)

Posted by Mr. X | July 14, 2008 8:27 PM
109

How's that mortgage crisis going, guys? All cleared up?

Posted by Greg | July 15, 2008 4:15 PM

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