I use the gender neutral term "paperbag hot" as in "he'd totally be hot, if you put a paper bag over his head so you didn't have to look at his face."

But that might just be me.

daniel craig?

May I suggest "Ecce Homo"?

Smokin' hot?

Who cares what his face looks like?

I'd just be looking at the back of his head.

I dunno, a neck-down guy?

definitely, michael phelps. definitely.

"30 footer."

@4

At first I thought Original Monique said that.

Puyol?

Frumby Hind?

Hank Azaria?

The only way to get around this without being a sexist ass is to assume the term "butterface" is gender-neutral. If it's good enough for her, it's good enough for him.

Interesting...someone called the slack line dude that Frizzelle was sticky-fingering over a couple weeks ago (remember the photos?) a butterface and I did not know what it meant. So thanks again, Slog, for broadening my IQ.

I've heard guys that are hot from a distance but ugly up close called "Cezannes." As in, from a distance, it's pretty but up close it's a mess.

Now, I personally love Cezanne so this never really worked for me. In my mind, if a guy was a Cezanne, I'd be drilling a hole in his canvas and banging his pigment into the next month.

So. Um. I guess I'm not help here.

Carry on.

Considering that guys coined that term, there can be no reversal. Women have different ideas of ugly. Some think Denzel Washington is hot, others would disagree. But all guys can pretty much agree on who's ugly/hot. So you can't have a universal reference.

Note to museums: move that rope line back a few inches if you see Jubilation coming.

Fnarf FTW!

@13: What a retarded and untrue thing to say.

@ 11, I can see your point, but I balk at the whole "her/she" among gay males... this is too close to that.

But a Butterface is such a great term. Sounds sweet at first, but so cruel.

We may need to resort to acronyms or initials a la MILF...

An N.T.T. "Neck To Toe"
SETH "Sexy Except The Head"

Or literary reference-- something Sleepy Hollow/Headless Horseman-y?

Macroscopically Hot. Or MacroHot.

I was also going to say something like a "neck-downer."

Perhaps "Ostrich" (powerfully built, hides its head in the sand), or "Louis XVI" (better with his head cut off).

"Ugly".

The face is important.

How about a Ground Rule Double, as in maybe you should skip first base?

But I agree with @17, since butterface sounds so nice at first. When I originally heard the idea it was as "Scepterface", but that sounds insulting off the bat.

Pillow Pretty...As in...your so pretty I just want to bury your face in the pillow and look at the rest of you:)

I'm with "neck-down."

So what do you say when his body isn't great, and his face isn't great, but he has a smokin' hot personality?

Shovelface? Shovelhead?

As in someone must of hit him in the face with a shovel...

@17

Perhaps Ichaface -- pronounced "Icky-face?"

I also like "faceless wonder."

@24... that's usually a "keeper"

A total Picasso! Good from afar but far from good

Why can't we use "butterface"? Many masculine words (dog, for example) get applied to women, why not the other way around?

lol
I vote for SETH...I can see it now...in a bar two guys talking:

1: wow! he is so hot!
2: I know. I mean, he is mostly.
1: oh, you don't mean?
2: yes, he's a SETH...
1: too bad. still, I'd do him. I don't need to see his face anyway!
2: agreed!

Then you could come up with different "names" for different types of guys...

PETER: Pretty Even Though Equally Round
GREG: Good Rear End Game

Sorry, I'm just coming up with the Brady Bunch names right now...you get the idea...

:) k.

Carrot Top?

@24: that's a Canadian

It saddens me to admit it but i've been pondering this myself for a few years. I dont think you could ever come up with something as good as Butterface but the closest i've got(and it's far from perfect)is "Anusface" as in "He's got it but it ain't his face". But sort of ghetto so it's "anin is face"

Yeah,I know. :(

@30 --

MARSHA: My Ass Requires Some Hard Action

ALICE: A Lesbian Is Cleaning Everything

Fun!

I vote against SETH.

Can't stop posting on this...

An H.T.C.-- Head Transplant Candidate

a NASM-- Needs A Ski Mask

a "Hasbro"-- body like GI Joe, face like Mr. Potato Head?

hot at 50 50 (read fifty fifty)

as in hot at 50 feet or 50 miles/hour.

SETH! LOL! Perfect!

@31: Carrot Top's body is disgusting too. Unless you like your men pumped full of steroids and stained the color of barbecue chicken.
WOULD NOT.

Cornball made me laugh.

I suggest "butterface." Because if he's -that- hot, he's probably gay in which case it's okay to use the feminine pronoun to refer to him (or her). (Har har!)

my suggestion: a "CHARLES MUDEDE"

There really isn't a word you can call a straight white male (other than faggot) that is going to hurt their feelings. It can't be done.

As far as the question at hand, I vote with the gender neutral term "paper bag hot." Since "butterface" pronounced "but-her-face" is not gender neutral.

Duh. They're called "bodybuilders."

A girlfriend of mine taught me “ocean-liner body, shipwreck face.” I usually stick with “shipwreck” in a pinch.

I'm just going to keep it simple....

"waste"

(its always the first thing that crosses my mind when I see a "butterface" man)

rhubarbs...the leaves are poisonous but the stalks are oh so tasty.

Dunno about a noun, but in this situation a friend of mine says "You don't look at the mantelpiece when you're stoking the fire".

or "Rafael Nadal" would work for me...

We here at the office have taken a poll and SETH "Sexy Except The Head" is the total winner!!

Although there was one vote for a Ground Rule Double, as in maybe you should skip first base.

There is a term for it... Shamefuck.

Usually they're either a Monet, pretty from far away but horrible up close - or they're neck-down, totally do-able, but only from the neck down.

A unisex version already exists. When eating prawns, the head is discarded, the body is delicious! From Urban Dictionary:

3. prawn
(australian) a male or female with an ugly head but a tasty body.

Q: So how did you go last night with the surf lifesaver?

A: Ummm, he was a bit of a prawn, but I turned off the lights, so it was sweet.

#33 is best w/Aunsface!

OK. "Prawn" @ 52 is clearly the winner.

Prawn. Exactly.

Venti Latte...Hold the mug.

What about men/women with smoking hot bods and decent-to-hot faces, but with HIDEOUS HIDEOUS hands and/or feet?

*bane of my existence*

What about buttisface.

Same thing, but masculine. But his face.

Prawn FTW

This is reaching back to grandma's day: 8-day, as in a face that could stop an 8-day clock.

game over. "Prawn" emerges victorious.

game over. "Prawn" emerges victorious.

Thanks, #30. I appreciate that.

@9: Fantastic. I chortled.

butternut

Prawn is good.

But this is fun, so some less-than-good ones: blahçade, dreadpan, pleatherpuss, hexpression, invisageable, frontal mannottame, glumbodacious, fugmug, grodonis.

Every girl I've seen referred to as 'butterface' was a great deal attractive than the guy who called her 'butterface'. In fact, the girl usually turned the guy down like 5 minutes before the whole 'butterface' insult was whipped out. So let's just call them (both male & female 'butterface') what they really are:

"People who get laid far more often than you do" or maybe just I dunno "More popular than you'll ever be".

sorry: "MORE attractive"

Primo Carnera

http://italianalmanac.org/06gen/carnera.jpg

or FINS (First Impression Not Sustained)

#57 is correct. It should be "butthisface" or "buttisface"

Which can be "But this face!"
Or "(Everything) but his face!"
Or "Butt: his face!"
Or "(Wow-wow-wee-wow!) Butt is face!"

@11 wrote, "The only way to get around this without being a sexist ass is to assume the term "butterface" is gender-neutral. If it's good enough for her, it's good enough for him."

That's fucking moronic.

but her face = butterface

but his face != butterface

69 wrote, "#57 is correct. It should be "butthisface" or "buttisface"

Which can be "But this face!"
Or "(Everything) but his face!"
Or "Butt: his face!"
Or "(Wow-wow-wee-wow!) Butt is face!" "

What the fuck don't you people get about puns? It may not be brilliant, but at least "butter" and "face" are words by themselves. The first time you hear someone say it, you ask, "A butterface?"

He says, "Everything about her is hot, but her face!"

You laugh. The first time. You humor the next 50,000 people who say it.

Now your version. "A butthisface?" I ask.

"Everything about him is hot, but his face!"

"Huh?"

Simplest:

Buttface

21's "ground rule double" is probably the best so far.

"He's a ground rule double."

"Huh?"

"Skip first and go straight for second."

http://www-staff.it.uts.edu.au/~don/big/prawn.jpg

My bf and I say we'd do him but we'd have to bag his head. (And an old friend used to say he'd have to bag his own too in case the guy's fell off)

So we'll offer "baggit" as in "Pity, he's such a fucking baggit".

and oldie but a goodie is

DEB distance enhanced beauty,

but prawn is my pick,

damn those australians... they are great with the slang

Definitely "prawn."

"Prawn" is awesome, although I may keep using "Puyol" for my own amusement (maybe only if he has a really, really good body).

Gotta go with prawn. You're right, Ozzies rule with the slang. Remember "shirtlifters". Though most of the best ones turn out to have been the invention of Barry Humphries ("technicolor yawn", frinstance), though that doesn't make them any worse.

Call 'em "Fnarf's".

Two thoughts:

1) I step away from The Slog for one goddamn second and you put up a fun post like this? Where were you all fucking day while I was @ work??!?!

2) I absolutely love Abby (@ 9). That is exactly what I was going to suggest. There exists no better example on the planet...

I don't have a smokin' body, Ecce. But my face is a work of art.

I'm glad that you brought this up, Dan. The other day I put some thought into what would wittily reverse this highly offensive saying entirely and put some dignity back into humanity . . . except there's absolutely no way around it, assholes.

@66- Um.I mean Butterface..see a therapist STAT.

I'm OK with Prawn in theory, but the sound of the word isn't pleasing enough. My southern vote, along the same lines (ugly head, pull it off and enjoy the sweet meat), is for "Crawdad"-- with the added bonus of "dad" in the name, to reinforce the masculinity.

Rob Campbell

I don't think butterface counts as a pun.

And the conversation reads just the same, both ways you wrote it.

I was going to suggest "margarine" or "margarine man", as a nod to 'butterface' -- but I'm gonna go with Prawn, for both genders.