At Large Whalemaker!
posted by on July 8 at 15:00 PM
Is Ivar’s on Lake Union actually serving a cocktail that contains Lake Union water, as stated in a recent press release? The answer is no, the drink is dreadful anyway, and the happy-hour food, which all used to be $2.50 and worth it, has gone up in price and is not (see debate here).
However, the bar at Ivar’s on Lake Union has a sparkly water view and a big lakeside deck, and it is called the Whalemaker Lounge. The Whalemaker Lounge does contain whalemakers: two preserved Orca phalli, which Ivar is said to have acquired from the Hells Angels of Alaska. Here is one (man shown for scale):
You can boat right up to the deck (some guy standing beneath a whalemaker: “I kayaked here! It’s really scary and I suck at it”).
The people at Ivar’s also emailed about new daily $4 drink specials. Today: the mysterious Captain’s Choice (straight rum, gulped between verses of a sea chantey?). Tomorrow: “The ‘Tidy Bowl’…with its murky-yet-tasty mix of Absolut Citron, Absolut Raspberry, Lemonade and Blue Curacao and the piece de resistance: a floating Tootsie Roll garnish!” Like the Lake Union Water cocktail, this is best left in the realm of the imagination (and jettisoned quickly from there). However, beer and wine are $3.25 at happy hour, which includes the deck and begins in a half-hour.
A piece of alarming information
Signs warn you not to eat the dirt.
The sun/action of the waterside deck.
Three-foot-long-plus male sex organs,
Hells Angels of Alaska.
Can they not read?
Highly accurate appearance:
A miniature Great Pacific Garbage Patch—
Found in Bar Exam, by Bethany Jean Clement.
I hope you're paying respects due, elenchos. That was the most brilliant Bar Exam in ages.
Bar Exam is the only column with poetry in it. Look, try it with any other column and you get nothing:
In The Hall
Eliminates all property taxes
Teachers, librarians, police, and health-care professionals
Far out of reach for workers in those and similar professions
Already being built.
More than 9 out of 10 rental units in King County are already affordable
"If you're going to have more housing, you need to change the program"
Nearly three times as much housing,
Was working just fine
My Philosopy (Subtitle this week is... wait for it... Hiphop Ya Don't Stop!)
Sho Nuff
Union of Opposites
Peoples, Gator, R.O.B., State of the Artist, and Philly Alto
Ricky Pharoe and Tru-ID
Grieves, Staxx Brothers, Mind Movers, Khingz
Asun and Kasi (Alpha P), Wolfpack, Type, Knox Family (Jerm and Julie C with DJ B Girl), Audiopoet, 33 1/3 (Jewels Hunter, Graves, and Randy Hanson), Language Arts, Yirim Seck, DJ Luvva J, and DJ Audeos.
Sonny Bonoho
Silver Shadow D
Crooked I
Kurupt
Death Row Records
Suge
Jay Barz, Byrdie, Dough, the Parker Brothaz, GameBoy the 80's Baby
Neema
See? Nothing.
The Tidy Bowl? What a horrible idea. Who the hell is in charge of marketing over there? Do they really think that reminding patrons of a toilet full of excrement is a good idea in a restaurant?
Such a good idea, that a press release is sent out about it?
Jesus. I'm never going there again.
c'mon Kerri lets look at the big picture:
you mean you will exclude:
Duck Farts
Gravediggers
Brain Erasers
Cum Shot
Snakebite
Liquid Cocaine
Buttery Nipple
and my favorite,
Cement Mixer
I'm with Kerri on this one. The Tidy Bowl? I'll stick with Manhattans, Sidecars, Juleps, Old Fashioneds, and scotch, thanks.
I'll never think of the whale whisker in Final Fantasy games quite the same way again.
I used to enjoy going to Ivar's on Lake Union via canoe with my son when he was little - we'd start in Ballard (launch off just to the east of the Ballard Bridge on the North side) and have lunch at Ivar's, then continue on to Magnolia for donuts and return home with a brief stop for a shake.
My fave Ivar's - my ex and I had our preparation dinner there for our families.
When I say I like brown liquor, this isn't what I mean.
You didn't refuse it when I called it "branch water and whiskey" ...
That "Tidy Bowl" sounds like the perfect way to wash down a serving of the Stranger's "Cat Shit Cake"
http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/03/cat_shit_cake_yum
@1-you forgot to mention the explosion of ugly on that hosts chin.
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