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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

This Just In…

posted by on July 9 at 15:41 PM

New DNA tests have definitively cleared the parents of child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey of her unsolved murder almost 12 years ago, prosecutors said on Wednesday.

In a statement seeking to silence suspicions surrounding relatives of the slain 6-year-old, prosecutors said new testing techniques on male DNA found on JonBenet’s clothes did not match any family members.

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1
Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 9, 2008 3:45 PM
2

And in 28 days, Jonbenet would have been legal!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 9, 2008 3:48 PM
3

If she were legal, then Charles would have been the one posting this.

Posted by JC | July 9, 2008 3:53 PM
4

The parents probably planted the evidence.

Posted by Will in STL | July 9, 2008 4:02 PM
5

@1 what the eff is your problem?

Posted by chet | July 9, 2008 4:02 PM
6

Wonderful. Now, can we finally stop getting updates on a decade-old story that was only marginally relevant because the kid was white and her parents were rich?

Seriously, if any one of a thousand meaningful stories had been given similar media attention, our world would be a better place today.

Posted by sociallytangent | July 9, 2008 4:03 PM
7

I'm not sure how that clears them. Could not they have simply have not been alone.

Posted by sgiffy | July 9, 2008 4:05 PM
8

Too bad Patsy isn't alive to see this day.

Posted by raindrop | July 9, 2008 4:15 PM
9

Well then who does it belong to?

Posted by monkey | July 9, 2008 4:15 PM
10

Dan I know it would have been too little, too late, but I wish wish wish you hadn't referred to her as "child beauty queen"- that has always annoyed the heck out of me. She was six, and victimized her whole life, and objectified in death too...

Not that I care that much, but jeez...

Posted by sappy sue | July 9, 2008 4:16 PM
11

@5 -- What the eff is your problem with my problem?

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | July 9, 2008 4:25 PM
12

Thank god! I can finally sleep at night!

Posted by Balt-O-Matt | July 9, 2008 4:30 PM
13
Posted by raindrop | July 9, 2008 4:31 PM
14

Their exoneration of killing her does not mean they didn't pimp her out. This beauty contest thing involving kids that young wearing more makeup than a Mississippi hooker is still gross.

Posted by Dave Coffman | July 9, 2008 4:55 PM
15

So, I guess this means Dan will go delete his original "Every Child Deserves a Mother and Father" post. Bummer.

Posted by Bob | July 9, 2008 5:36 PM
16

Thank you 14. I almost peed in my chair:)

Posted by Julie Russell | July 9, 2008 5:50 PM
17

When they found her body, the father was cradling her in his arms, kissing her and crying uncontrollably. He held her for close to 10 minutes before they pried her away. And there is none of his DNA on her body? THATS CRAP!!

Posted by rand | July 9, 2008 7:13 PM
18

Who the fuck cares? This shit went down when I was in fucking high school, and I graduated in 1996. How pathetic are the people still paying attention?

Posted by Gitai | July 9, 2008 7:14 PM
19

I believe it is the duty of the media to report on the disappearance and/or murder of all white girls. The fact that things like FISA and the election get more attention than missing white girls shows how far off course this county is.

Posted by hal | July 9, 2008 11:03 PM
20

I'm sorry, but I'm just not convinced that they didn't have something to do with this. I still think it was a case of sex games gone wrong. Why would someone assualt her in the basement of her own home with her entire family sleeping above her? Pretty risky if you ask me. And take the time to write and rewrite the ransom note that they found on the scene? Hell why write a ransom note after killing the kid? Too many unaswered questions.

Posted by Charm | July 10, 2008 9:01 AM

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