Slog - Comments on This Just In...

Comment by twee

twee — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:10:28 -0800

They needed a study for that? Just go to any Wal-Mart.

Comment by evilrobot6

evilrobot6 — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:16:35 -0800

Well duh.

Comment by douglas

douglas — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:21:21 -0800

well i'm glad that's settled, now we can get back to debating what color the sky is.

Comment by The joke's on you, breeders!!

The joke's on you, breeders!! — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:23:18 -0800

Well lucky for me, butt-babies never live.

Comment by Will in Seattle

Will in Seattle — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:28:27 -0800

Sadly, it's probably true.

They also really put a damper on your sex life.

Comment by Mr. Joshua

Mr. Joshua — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:34:36 -0800

Yes, they are bundles of joy.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Comment by Jen

Jen — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:38:15 -0800

What a massive surprise.

Comment by Greg

Greg — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:39:52 -0800

Fucking duh. Having a baby isn't the same thing as taking Paxil, and woe to him-and-her that forget it.

Comment by Marty

Marty — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:49:18 -0800

Oh, gee, we had kids to make ourselves happier? That is not in any way selfish, especially considering they'll probably grow up to be their own person and disappoint whatever happy little disillusion their parents had concoted for them.

Far be it from me to play the sociologist, but it could also be people with kids are reporting themselves as unhappier because kids suck up 1) money, which our culture has told us we should be spending entirely on ourselves as often as possible 2) time, which our culture pushes should be spent jet-setting or whatever it is glamorous people do nowadays and 3) are in no way romantic. Anybody seen "Parenthood?" Does that make raising children look at all glamarous?

Comment by The Incredible Sulk

The Incredible Sulk — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 12:52:03 -0800

Dan Savage, hater of dogs and kids: The W.C. Fields of The Stranger.

And no, I don't feel like letting it go.

Comment by Balt-O-Matt

Balt-O-Matt — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:13:31 -0800

I would say that for the most part this is pretty accurate. I love the children of our friends, our godchildren, and our nephews. And I love that they can go home at night to their parents!

One couple we know often jokingly has the following back and forth after one of their kids does something (out of hearing range of their kids):

Wife: Why did we have kids?
Husband: Because we are stupid.

Comment by poppy

poppy — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:36:54 -0800

Solution: get a pit bull. That bundle of depression will be gone within hours. Pit bulls are the real bundles of joy.

#9: I can't think of any reason to make kids that isn't "selfish" (not that that's necessarily bad).

Comment by Sad Comment

Sad Comment — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:46:38 -0800

Hey can we see that flying baby video again?

Comment by clarity

clarity — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:48:10 -0800

@6 Nice try but the amount of time that a parent spends watching their infant smile pales in comparison to the amount of time spent soothing a crying infant and cleaning up for and after one. Papernting overall provides more stress than joy, the only way we've survived is placing a lot of importance on those few moments of joy.

Comment by left coast

left coast — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:48:32 -0800

Anecdotal evidence, but nothing makes me happier and more content than my kids. There is some anxiety waiting for their appearance, sex life is shot and exotic travel is limited.

Comment by Mike in MO

Mike in MO — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:54:37 -0800

# 1 FTW. Or, as I always say when some "study" comes to the same conclusion as any right thinking person on the planet:

Why didn't they just ask me. I definitely could have told them kids suck. Luckily (for me and any would be offspring), I managed to get this far without reproducing.

Comment by Mohammed in Guantanamo

Mohammed in Guantanamo — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:29:46 -0800

@15 Nothing makes Mohammed in Guantanamo happier and more content than his daily moldy bread.

Comment by Will in Seattle

Will in Seattle — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 14:54:50 -0800

@12 - pit bulls are fine, once you get a dangerous semi-concealed weapons permit and the remote-controlled exploding owner collar your neighbors have the button for.

But they won't make you happier.

Comment by Ayden

Ayden — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:08:14 -0800

I've always preferred dogs and cats to children. (Dogs of choice are Shetland Sheepdogs and Belgian Sheepdogs - not pit bulls.)

If they get really bothersome, you put them in their crates for a few hours. No one calls the cops and they adore you when they get out.

People tell me they love their kids more - but I can't quite comprehend it.

The biggest disadvantage of pets is that they die first. But I worry more about me dying first - and knowing there is no one who will ever love them as much as I do.

Comment by Gitai

Gitai — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:28:35 -0800

Yeah, I know this, but damn my biological clock, which isn't supposed to exist so much in men, but I want a whole back of little bastards.

Comment by Abby

Abby — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:38:12 -0800

@20: It does too exist.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7492323.stm

Comment by Vince

Vince — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:00:15 -0800

One of the greatest joys of my life is that I never procreated. The reasons are legion.
The satisfaction boundless.

Comment by Porkchop Sandwiches

Porkchop Sandwiches — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:04:48 -0800

That's not surprising; no kids = less stress, to be sure. That said, when my little girl gives me a smile first thing in the morning, I couldn't feel more contented.

Comment by Will in Seattle

Will in Seattle — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:34:46 -0800

Abby for the win. And it does exist, as she rightly points out @21.

Comment by poltroon

poltroon — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:51:22 -0800

People who have kids already get enough barrage of advice and stupid warnings from busybodies about how their lives will fall apart. And what's the point? It's not like you're going to deter idiots from having kids anyway. An article like this is useless. Are the unhappy people with kids a mixture of people who wanted kids and those who didn't? It seems like one's intentions, age, stability, etc, would make a difference. Whereas many people who don't have kids probably are in their state by choice.

Comment by PopTart

PopTart — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:57:23 -0800

@25 Speaking of kids, hope all goes well with the upcoming birth of your little one!

Wow, I hope I remembered right that you are who I think you are and not somebody else who is now scratching their head and going, "damn I didn't even know I was pregnant."

Comment by ellarosa

ellarosa — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:11:27 -0800

omg 11, that's a direct recording of at least two very brief conversations i had with my husband on the subject. there's some serious buyers remorse that follows the having of spawn, and it's always been that way, i think. it's just a little more ok to ruefully admit it now than it once was. and it doesn't mean it wasn't worth it--it's just that it's too early to tell. i guess we'll know for sure shortly before we die.

Comment by Sylvie

Sylvie — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:28:49 -0800

One of my friends is currently 2 weeks overdue with her first child. They started inducing labor yesterday, and as far as I know, she's still in labor. I can't imagine anything that horrendously awful. Girl's gonna be in a world of pain.

Comment by Matthew

Matthew — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:34:01 -0800

It's obvious that one is happier without kids when you're in your 30s and 40s, and maybe even your 50s. But what happens when you start to really get old, and you realize...that's it, life's over, and the end is here? Having children to "fall back on," I would think, probably makes that bitter pill go down quite a bit easier.

I'm the only one left in my immediate family (me, mom, dad, post-menopausal sister) who can carry on "the line," and even though I know how much happier I am without kids right now, I wonder if I'll still be as happy when I'm retired and relatively lonely, watching my friends die and me and my family go extinct. Does this study take into account these kinds of deathbed regrets? I think not.

Having said all that, I'm still not having kids.

Comment by Ayden

Ayden — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:50:29 -0800

@29 - that was my dad's sales pitch for kids. "Who's gonna look after you when you're old?"

Well, of his six kids and I don't know how many grandkids - I was the only one who spent any time with him. Everybody else was 'too busy with their families.'

Comment by chas Redmond

chas Redmond — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:48:04 -0800

And some people like evolution enough that they believe they can create an improvement over themselves. It's almost like the next-gen (well, it literally is) of two mutated families. The offspring are always an amalgam with great room for miraculous as well as malicious mutation. But, often the experiment does, indeed, produce some really fine human beings. I think that's what drives some of us to have kids - we really like humans, wish they were better in a host of areas, but have enough hope that things improve over time to - well - reproduce. My kids are grown human beings now and both of them are - to me and others - well-adapted, savvy and conscious-of-their-environment individuals of great personal strength - along with a few natural and perhaps genetic talents. They're great people. Why not want to create more great people? That's the positive draw in wanting to be a parent. The negatives are what get weighed in the dialog. We'd been discussing kids for about 8 years before everything (the stars, as it were) were right. And we were in that prime late-20/mid-30 range and we both had enough economic cushion to only sacrifice by choice and not by necessity. We weren't exactly accidental tourists.