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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Morning News

posted by on July 9 at 7:02 AM

Iran: The Revolutionary Guard reportedly test-fired nine missiles today, including one that could reach Israel. In response:

The Republican candidate, John McCain, said the tests ‘’demonstrate the need for effective missile defense now and in future, and this includes missile defense in Europe as is planned with the Czech Republic and Poland,” according to Reuters. His Democrat challenger, Barack Obama, said on NBC’s ‘’Today” show that the tests showed a need for stronger restraints and incentives to head off ‘’rising tensions that could lead into real problems,” The Associated Press said.

Speaking of Missile Defense: Russia isn’t happy about a new deal between the U.S. and the Czech Republic.

Turkey: Gunmen open fire on Turkish guards outside the United States Consulate in Istanbul.

Space: The United States’ superiority off planet Earth is slipping away.

Politics: Obama supporters aren’t in a big rush to help Clinton with her campaign debt.

God & Country: Army Spc. Jeremy Hall, an atheist, is suing the Department of Defense claiming “his rights to religious freedom under the First Amendment were violated” and the “United States military has become a Christian organization.”

The Body vs. Stuart Smalley: Former Gov. Jesse Ventura is may be running for Senate against incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman and Democratic nominee Al Franken.

Falling Grads: The University of Washington is concerned about the number of students who have fallen from dorm windows.

Bipartisanship: State Democrats and Republicans are still against the “top-two” primary.

Fashion Crimes: A Tukwila woman received emergency surgery after she was stabbed with her own stiletto heel.

Amanda Knox: UW student celebrated her 21st birthday in jail, was refused cake, may face trial today.

Please Plan Accordingly: The 520 bridge will be closed this weekend from 11 pm Friday to 5 am Monday.

Dept. of Self-Flagellation: In a testament to my crack research skills, my review of the horror film A Tale of Two Sisters contained just one tiny error. From our 2005 Regrets issue:

In the January 6 issue of The Stranger, film critic Bradley Steinbacher called A Tale of Two Sisters “Japanese.” It is in fact Korean. We regret his probable racism, his lack of research skills, and the fact that Annie Wagner’s little brother, Gabe, was the first to tell Mr. Steinbacher what was what.

RSS icon Comments

1

Annie's little bro hangs out in The Stranger offices? Is that safe?

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2008 8:12 AM
2

I was expecting "was denied cake" to be just a bit of casual snark, but amazingly it is true. She asked for cake.

When's Meredith Kercher's birthday?

Posted by Fnarf | July 9, 2008 8:18 AM
3

"The U.S. military is a Christian organisation" is the complaint of an atheist who's suing. And Barack Odumbass is going to continue Bush's self destructive policies. What fools. It was Christianity that destroyed Rome and it will be Christianity that destroys the U.S.

Posted by Vince | July 9, 2008 8:39 AM
4

Same as it ever was.

Posted by Kermit the SLOG Frog | July 9, 2008 8:48 AM
5

@3

Yes, Vince. We are all doomed. Dooooomed! It is hopeless. Not quite so hopeless as to prevent you from getting up every day and repeatedly moaning to the world how hopeless it all is, but still. Pretty hopeless.

Posted by elenchos | July 9, 2008 8:50 AM
6

@5,

Not only are we doomed, and not only is Barack Obama just another corporate stooge, but either the US or Israel is going to nuke Iran this month. On July 8, to be precise. I know it's true because I read it on Teh Intarwebs.

Run to the hills!

Posted by Jeff Stevens | July 9, 2008 9:04 AM
7

"Pentacostalgon"...

...I think they're just makin' words up...

Posted by j4zz3rgrl | July 9, 2008 9:08 AM
8
The University of Washington is concerned about the number of students who have fallen from dorm windows.

Wow, six students in almost 30 years. By all means, let's ban windows.

Posted by Judah | July 9, 2008 9:18 AM
9

State Democrats and Republicans are still against the “top-two” primary.

Aw, poor babies. Does that mean they'll give me back the blanket primary? No? Fuck 'em.

Posted by JenK | July 9, 2008 9:26 AM
10

It was Christianity that destroyed Rome

Read a fucking history book.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 9, 2008 9:33 AM
11

"Obama supporters aren’t in a big rush to help Clinton with her campaign debt."

You mean, "Obama supporters aren't in a big rush to help Obama get more money."

Obama maxed out donors can't give more to Obama. When they give to HRC this signals HRC maxed out donors to give to Obama.
This is why Obama wants them to give to HRC: it ends up getting him MILLIONS more for himself.

Yes, it's called old style politics and it's what Obama wants you to do.


Pls. make a note of it.

Oh and PS: -- unity. Remember that word?

"One hand washes the other." Big T.

Posted by PC | July 9, 2008 9:42 AM
12

Judah: Work on your reading comprehension. Six have died; five others have broken their backs. And the cops say on average one fall a year happens.

Posted by bigyaz | July 9, 2008 9:42 AM
13

I thought it was an over large, bloated government and mass immigration that caused the decline and fall of the Roman Empire...along with Christianity.

Posted by Vercingtorix | July 9, 2008 9:44 AM
14

clarification: the uw is investigating people falling out of the windows of greek system buildings more than from its dorms.

Posted by Trevor | July 9, 2008 9:45 AM
15

bigyaz: Six have died; five others have broken their backs; the cops say there's a life-threatening fall each year; and alcohol is always involved.

By all means, let's ban windows and cars and anything else these precious wittle drunks could harm themselves with.

Posted by Jenk | July 9, 2008 9:46 AM
16

I don't care if the rest of the world's space program is moving along faster then ours, it still doesn't hold a candle to having taken part of the sheer awesomeness that is 1960's space race.

Posted by nzp | July 9, 2008 9:49 AM
17

@10

Oh hi. I'm wondering what would happen if Obama's donors participated in a money transfer to Marc Penn for all the money Hillary owes him. Would that make you and your ilk so grateful that you'd do for Obama what you did for Hillary? As in invent stories of scandalous videos and seed them across your blogs and get every grandma to forward them to everyone in her address book? Is that what Team Hillary has to offer?

You seem to ignore questions about the fake rumors you spread before. It used to be a topic you couldn't get enough of, posting day after day the same stuff about heinous words in unseen video. Now you don't talk about that anymore. How come?

Posted by elenchos | July 9, 2008 9:51 AM
18

I also loved how the "unsafe dorm room" example they gave was actually a frat house. All but two of their examples were frats (privately owned buildings), not dorms (publicly owned buildings), and from reading the descriptions I'd say the problem has more to do with drinking games than building codes.

Posted by Jenk | July 9, 2008 9:56 AM
19

Brad, the article didn't say Ventura was running. It just said he was considering running. With Ventura, unlike most pols, there is actually a difference because he's so damned mercurial.

Posted by Big Sven | July 9, 2008 9:57 AM
20

@9 for the win, @11 for the loss.

Cake or Death!

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 9, 2008 9:58 AM
21

Why exactly should anyone feel like they should help HRC with her campaign debt? Her and Bill have made 100s of millions of dollars since he left office, frankly the people that should be getting their donations returned are those working poor and young children who donated their piggy banks to her failed campaign. They were the ones who could least afford it. If Bill and Hillary need MORE money, send Bill out on a few of those big $$ lectures again

Posted by Josh | July 9, 2008 9:58 AM
22

@19: Ack! Thanks Sven. Post has been changed. I really should stop drinking so early in the morning.

Posted by Bradley Steinbacher | July 9, 2008 10:12 AM
23

This irks me: "His Democrat challenger..."
That's an adjective and should be "Democratic," no? I expect better from the New York Times.

Posted by Amy Kate Horn | July 9, 2008 10:17 AM
24

I have a great idea, why don't we encircle all UW dorms and frat houses with trampolines?

Ok, maybe not the frat houses.

Posted by Sad Comment | July 9, 2008 10:37 AM
25

@13,

You have an interesting definition of immigration.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 9, 2008 11:01 AM
26

@23 - the NYTimes is all about starting new wars, like the lies they're telling now to get us into Iran.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 9, 2008 11:23 AM

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