I believe the preponderance of airport Starbuckses are franchises not owned by the company proper (this came up in context of the airport stores not necessarily participating in AT&T's liberalized wi-fi policy). Especially given that the airport outposts control captive markets, I think you've got to be rooting for storefront closures only.

Let's see, there are three Starbucks within a block at Westlake Center, one outside the mall, one down on the metro level, and one inside Century Square. I think we could spare at least one of those, probably two. Oh, and there's another one between 5th and 6th on Pine.

Close any Starbucks with a drive-thru (it pains me to spell that "thru")

@2: Beat me to it. If you walk from the library down to Westlake, there's a Starbucks almost every block along 5th Avenue. You can stand in front of one, spot the next one, go to it, and spot the next one from there, all the way down to the mall. Pretty much no matter where you are on that street, there's a Starbucks in sight.

What Nat says is true. The Starbucks at O'Hare is a joint-venture or licensed deal; like the Starbucks in Barnes and Nobles, Target, or Dominick's/Safeway/other grocery stores, it is not owned or operated by the Starbucks Corporation.

(For those that are curious, while the employees of such establishments do have to go through all the Starbucks training and know all the rules, they do not receive the benefits that a "real" Starbucks employee receives.)

that one on olive way @ summit. it makes up 80% of the view from my apartment.

*though i DO enjoy flashing its patrons and hitting its pastry counter with my laser pointer

@6 GENIUS!

I nominate the Starbucks at the Broadway Market QFC, just out of principle. Considering you can sit at the tiny table there and look out the window at the Starbucks on the other side of the street, it seems excessive, especially for a street that will soon have two Vivaces separated by less than two blocks.

The first time I found myself standing in one spot looking at multiple Starbuckses was in 2003, in London, oddly enough.

I nominate the one on Olive and Summit. Take out the Starbucks and put in a Vivace.

Cafe Vita would also be acceptable.

I nominate the two Starbuckses that are kiddy corner from each other in Vancouver BC. Not one of them. Both of them.

Dan,

ALL the Starbucks in O'Hare need to be shut down. Not a single one of them can get a damn drink right.

That and one in Chicago on Michigan Ave I went to one time that was filthier than a McDonalds and the Barista did not know what an Americano was...

I nominate closing all the Starbucks in my hometown of El Paso, TX. They all have drive-thus so all the fat Texas don't even have to get out of their cars and can drink their super tall grande mocha frappuccinos until they burst.

I nominate the one in Dan's cornholed rectum...

I nominate all of them.

@9 You seriously that lazy that you can't walk a few blocks up the street for Vivace?

That Olive Way Starbucks can't go out of principle- It's the gayest Starbucks EVER!

Tea is for faggots.

@13: Dan is a top, a tea-drinking fag top.

Replace them all with the sexy teenager barista coffee shops.

look at all of the Bourgeoisie complaining about expensive drinks while the rest of the world suffers. you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Who said we weren't?

I heard they're opening a Starbucks inside a Starbucks. Buh dum bum. Pshh.

The one inside the Safeway in Port Townsend NEEDS to go. It's so tacky to have one inside a grocery store.

Why do people choose starbucks over local coffee joints is beyond me.

I'm ashamed of myself, but I'd always assumed it was because I'm 1/4 Jewish.

The one on the 3rd avenue side of Beharoyah (sp??) Hall.

I ordered iced tea once and they handed me an ice water with a tea bag sitting inside.

@23 being jewish, or a little bit jewish is ALWAYS a good excuse to be ashamed. Don't ever let go of that.

@10 ... "kiddy corner".... don't you mean "catty corner" ?

@15: Oh I'll walk up to the ones on Broadway, I just love Vivace so much I'd like it to be EVERYWHERE...On Summit, in my house, at my work.

But yes I do understand that Starbucks is teh gheyest of them all. It may have to stay, but only if we could turn it into a club at night.

don't take out the one adjacent to the pompidou - they let you use the can.

Technically the two at Westlake are one Starbucks. And I would be so sad if they closed the kiosk cause it's like a vacation from working in the busy, busy corner store. And that one ain't going anywhere soon.

Take out the one in the shopping concourse under Rockefeller Center - my first day living in NYC I ordered a short breve there and got into an argument with the barista over what a breve is.

Don't close a single blessed one of them.

I thought it ridiculous when a SECOND Starbucks opened on The Ave. -- what with the many many alternative joints within spitting distance. But now I see the obvious truth: those who choose Starbucks stay away from my haunts. God love 'em.

@22 In defense of some Starbuckers... When the coffee thing hit Seattle everyone and his sister opened an espresso joint. I'd try the various local joints I'd happen upon throughout the Puget Sound region. I discovered that having a machine that makes coffee does not qualify you to run an espresso joint. Starbucks may suck but it probably won't kill you.

They should close this one. It's on 1st Avenue south of the stadiums, and just north of Home Depot.

It's a rather large outlet, but I think the world would be a better place without it.

Well, that one at W Broadway and Ash (pictured above) was a pretty good start...

Dan, are you crazy? Some of us have to fly out of O'hare at 7 am on a semi-regular basis. That Starbucks is like a beacon of hope to me when I've had to wake up at 5, even if they are occasionally incompetent. They're only allowed to close it if they replace it with an Intelligentsia.

Soon enough all the Starbucks everywhere will morph into Cowgirls Espressos. Eventually it will be like in _Idiocracy_: lattes and handjobs for everyone!

I ordered a tea at that Starbucks once, at O'Hare, and the woman stared at me with a blank expression. "We don't serve tea," she said. I told her she did, in fact, serve tea, and pointed to the boxes of tea on the counter behind her. She then asked me how to make tea. "Hot water in cup, tea bag in water." She filled a cup with hot water, and dropped the tea packet in the water—the whole packet, not the tea bag, which was inside the packet. I had to fish it out with fingers, rip open the wet packet, and drop the tea bag in myself.

I still tipped her a dollar, though, because I can't ignore the tip jar.

Uh, Dan FTW.

@10 The northern one at Robson and Thurlow in Vancouver has the most primo girl watching seats. That one must absolutely be kept under all circumstances. The one under the Red Robin can go, though.

Well Dan, that one in the picture you posted is just a couple blocks from my house, so progress is on the march! (Somehow slept through the explosion)

Dan, that is the best story I've heard in a long time. And I love that airport. But airports aren't in the business of hiring competent staff. They're in the business of hiring "diverse" staff. Hey! ECB would approve!

Replace them all with Argo Tea out of Chicago - their mojitea alone is to DIE for!

23rd & Jackson. lol. LOL!

Judah and 26, what's with all these cats, it's 'catercorner' (even though nobody says it that way). I was thinking of those ones, too - I believe they are on Robson and Howie (?) just staring right across at one another. And there was a cool Italian espresso place on the other corner, that must be gone by now....

last year i as about to cross the street on 2nd and jackson to go to zeitgeist coffee when a tourist family of four stopped me and asked me where could they find a starbucks. they were visiting from minneapolis and the teenaged offspring were in the throes of a nasty caffeine monkey on their back. mind you they had just walked past a tully's and been wandering looking for a starbucks which they had been told was in the area. i pointed out zeitgeist explaining to them how ludicrous it was that they wanted starbucks at all, but theyw ere genuinely suspicious of any other coffer purveyor than starbucks. i had to drag them into zeitgeist and personally offer them a refund for their drinks if they didn't find that their iced mochas were the best one they ever tasted. they relented and agreed and were saved.
so my shut down any starbucks within a five block radius of any pre-existing coffeshop - including any pre existing starbucks. but that's probably a lot more than the measly 600 they're tossing.

For those also wanting to nominate the ones inside grocery stores - those are also licensed concepts, so they aren't actually Starbucks storefronts.

Also note - people who work at non-storefront Starbucks (like in Safeway, QFC, airports) don't get any of the wonderful benefits or discounts that true Starbucks employees get.)

For those also wanting to nominate the ones inside grocery stores - those are also licensed concepts, so they aren't actually Starbucks storefronts.

Also note - people who work at non-storefront Starbucks (like in Safeway, QFC, airports) don't get any of the wonderful benefits or discounts that true Starbucks employees get.)

Grant @43 It's a bit west of Howe, at Thurlow.

And it's "kitty-corner".

@40,

No, they're in the business of hiring people willing to work for minimum wage.

All of the fake license-only ones located inside grocery stores. Sure, they use SB coffee, but don't know how to make the drinks.

(The Target ones are probably okay, though)

That oughtta take care of 600 easily; sadly, they probably don't count.

Here's another good starting point for Starbucks. An incomplete list of places where there is a Starbucks across the street from a Starbucks.

http://www.gergltd.com/users/isaac.gerg/starbucks/

Only one of the Starbucks in O'Hare is an actual corporate Starbucks-- the rest are franchise. I don't remember which one is the corporate store, but from what you're describing, it's probably not the one you're talking about. You can always tell if it's a franchise store if the baristas are more incompetent than usual and if they have a brand of water other than Ethos. That's the most tell-tale sign. If it's not Ethos, it's not a corporate Starbucks.

I worked at Starbucks for awhile, and most of them were fine, but the location at State and Liberty in Ann Arbor needs to be either closed or burnt to the ground. Most toxic environment I've ever had to work in. Most of the customers would die if the place closed, which would make the world, or at least this awful city, a better place. Unfortunately, it's the first or second highest grossing Starbucks in Michigan, so that won't happen. Oh, wishful thinking.

@38 for the win.

But I still say one of the ones at Westlake, preferably not the one at the corner since it's a great place to arrange to meet up with friends on winter days.

I actually somewhat appreciate the airport outlets, especially in places like Milwaukee and Kentucky, where decent coffee can be difficult to find.

Anyone going to Starbucks in Seattle should be ashamed of their poor life choices. Their coffee is bullshit and the service is painful.

Dr Evil's atop the Space Needle.

The Starbucks at 148th and Main in Bellevue deserves nothing but emptiness, much like the vacant K-Mart it shares a parking lot with. Cups filled 3/4 full or less, slow service, and a cranky guy behind the counter hard-selling pastries to everyone. May it and its all-around shit-tacularness burn in hell.

Get rid of all of them. The Yuppiness of the drive-thru makes me cringe. The tip jar at the drive-thru window makes me want to vomit. And besides, caffeine is bad for humans, you know.

Drive-in windows aren't yuppie; they're exurban white trash.

Riz, if that story is true you have just moved another places forward on my all-time super-hero list.

Another vote for the one on the 3rd Avenue side of Benaroya Hall. Truly the most hapless Starbucks in town.

If every Starbucks in the universe was replaced tomorrow with a New York-style newstand serving stale Bunn coffee in Greek paper cups, I would be a happy, happy man. In fact, I think all cities should be judged on the number of places you can get a cup of coffee served to you in under 30 seconds, INCLUDING QUEUING.

how about all the starbucks in seattle? i mean, really, in a city with so many amazing coffee options - why have starbucks? starbucks is for all those other places where there are no coffee options.

The SBUX in downtown Edmonds is HORRIBLE. Snotty, stupid staff.

Seriously stay away.

The U-Village has FOUR

-the huge 24 hour store
-the store next to Bed Bath & Beyond
-the one in Barnes and Noble
-the one in the QFC (Seattle's Best)

It crayzee!

If Gay Starbucks is blocking anyone's apartment view, they've gotta be living in a basement to begin with.

But I do agree that it should have a full bar in it for evening-times.

@63 - I was waiting for someone to bring that up. And for someone to be able to shine a laser pointer into that pastry case from their apartment window, you'd have to live in the dry cleaners across the street.

@Sue - great argument. Poignent facts and moving thesis. Are you a professor? /sarcasm

@all those who say all licensed concept baristas are shit - FUCK YOU! I worked at the Starbucks concept in the central concourse at SeaTac airport three years ago and I was a damn good barista. It helps that they brought in managers from corporate SB to train us though.

That being said however, the concept at DFW Terminal A needs to be torn out or restaffed. On my way to the east coast a year or two ago, I just wanted a short chai and when I got up to order, the girl gave me an odd look and asked what a 'short' was. I had to explain that it's the smallest size under a tall. She looked me dead in the eye and actually said 'We don't do that here. Everything's bigger in Texas.' I really wasn't aware things like that were actually uttered.

Y'know, I think you could close down half the Starbucks locations in O'Hare and cover that 600 store requirement.

Seriously, each one is practically within viewing distance of another one.

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