Slog - Comments on Light Fuse, Get Away http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away The US Consumer Product Safety Commission wants you to have a safe Fourth of July, so they've put together this handy video showing what happens when you light off a M-1000 inside your three-wall cardboard house, why you should never look directly into an aerial display shell, and some other text advice which goes by far too quickly. Note the proper way to enjoy our nation's birthday: Cook hot dogs, make small-talk, play ball with kids, watch pussy-ass little fireworks from safe distance, dunk in bucket. U.S.A.!... Copyright 2008 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:12:45 -0800 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:31:05 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Darcy It's legal in some states to stick bottle rockets in your kid's pocket?

]]> Darcy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066218 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066218 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:28:20 -0800 Comment by chas Redmond I don't thing this video had the intended effect on me - at least, I laughed at pretty much all of them but the exploding mannequin head was actually the best, followed by the cardboard house blowing up. Is this more dangerous than handguns. Where's the NRA when we need them?

]]> chas Redmond http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066220 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066220 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:35:36 -0800 Comment by wench Man, I bet they had fun making this one! The second half was pretty dull, though - I much preferred the first part. I mean, heck... we were careful with fireworks, but we sure didn't huddle in a close circle in broad daylight 50 feet away while Dad lit off snakes.

Now, of course, I want to blow up mannequins with fireworks, too!

]]> wench http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066222 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066222 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:42:31 -0800 Comment by wench I don't suppose we can get fireworks reclassified as firearms, can we? That'd make for a much more exciting country.

]]> wench http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066223 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066223 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:43:33 -0800 Comment by Gurldoggie Priceless slapstick. I can practically hear the Benny Hill soundtrack behind it.

]]> Gurldoggie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066226 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066226 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 20:17:58 -0800 Comment by Andy Niable Just what I needed: mannequin snuff porn!

]]> Andy Niable http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066229 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066229 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:06:28 -0800 Comment by eclexia When I was a kid, we'd run around with sparklers all the time. But mom would never let us blow up a house like that, no matter how many times we asked.

]]> eclexia http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066237 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066237 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:17:59 -0800 Comment by demo kid Watermelon with M-1000 (illegal but AWESOME)

]]> demo kid http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066239 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066239 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:50:17 -0800 Comment by NapoleonXIV How dare some states make it illegal to stuff bottlerockets in mannequins' pockets! It's protected by the Second Amendment!

]]> NapoleonXIV http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066241 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066241 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 22:58:47 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball Hey Mr. Poe, how about you come over here for a slice of watermelon...yeah, just stand right here...

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066242 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066242 Life Fri, 04 Jul 2008 23:38:03 -0800 Comment by -B- My fave 4th was in Olympia Wash and my friends Brian and Stephanie were just graduating from Evergreen but I was their for 4th of July so I bought an "egg laying hen". I lit the ass of the cardboard chicken and it proceed to fart egg flames out of it's ass. It was a cold july evening and many other more fascinating fireworks were being lit all around us in the dark but we were in stitches overt the egg laying hen.
Far more entertaining than the biggest forth of july explosions going on all around us.
You tube is interesting if you search for egg laying hen. You will probably never eat eggs again.

]]> -B- http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066246 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066246 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:12:12 -0800 Comment by Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon Gallagher is just phoning in his performance. Notice he as no audience.

]]> Miss Poppy Hussein Dixon http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066252 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066252 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 06:51:19 -0800 Comment by ouzel What is the 4th of July without exploding mannequins?

]]> ouzel http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066259 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066259 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 07:31:25 -0800 Comment by Reverse Polarity I can't believe they didn't recreate the classic: M80 in a mailbox. I can't (won't) tell you how many times I did that as a teenager. Awesome fun. Somehow, I survived to adulthood.

]]> Reverse Polarity http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066260 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066260 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 07:53:34 -0800 Comment by Reverend z Certainly hard to take seriously while listenening to the appreciative 'YEAH' and 'OH COOL' type comments coming from the spectators after every explosion. how come we never hear the mannequin death statistics after every July 4th? Why do we continually ignore the Dummy populus? especially after we keep electing their representatives?

]]> Reverend z http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066266 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066266 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 08:56:54 -0800 Comment by Mike in MO I thought this was going to be a post about Widespread Panic's classic live cd.

:(

]]> Mike in MO http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066268 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066268 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 09:12:39 -0800 Comment by Michael Vick @11, that's nothing. We'd stick M80's right up a chicken.'s ass and light it.

We also hung cats by their tails and stuck M80's in their mouths and lit 'em

Good times!

]]> Michael Vick http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066288 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066288 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:47:05 -0800 Comment by -B- @17
We were just having fun with a crazy little firework because it was silly not displaying early signs of being a potential serial killer by killing small animals.
If you are just joking though, don't peruse a career as a comedian. You aren't funny at all.
Even as a joke it sounds like you also have the early signs of home grown terrorism, so you should really get some help.

]]> -B- http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066292 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066292 Life Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:49:15 -0800 Comment by Frank Sinclair @18 Ummmm....did you see who signed the post @17?

]]> Frank Sinclair http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066424 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066424 Life Sun, 06 Jul 2008 02:18:09 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball @18 -- I love it when people get caught up in righteous indignation, only to be shown to be ding-dongs.

Oh, and @17 will "peruse" a career in comedy if you "peruse" a career in spelling.

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066469 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066469 Life Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:03:37 -0800 Comment by The Incredible Husk @10,

That's the corniest thing I've ever read.

]]> The Incredible Husk http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066529 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066529 Life Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:48:55 -0800 Comment by The Incredible Husk @20,

That's the corniest thing I've ever read.

]]> The Incredible Husk http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066530 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066530 Life Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:50:34 -0800 Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball @22 -- Hmmm....looks like I have a barnacle.

]]> Jubilation T. Cornball http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066585 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066585 Life Sun, 06 Jul 2008 19:18:27 -0800 Comment by Frank Sinatra @19 and I am Frank Sinatra

]]> Frank Sinatra http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066631 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066631 Life Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:23:06 -0800 Comment by -B- @24
Well that just fizzled out and became boring.

]]> -B- http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066632 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/light_fuse_get_away#c1066632 Life Mon, 07 Jul 2008 00:31:05 -0800