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Bethany Jean Clement
on July 21 at
Coming soon to your mass-market ice cream: gelatin (i.e., the delicious rendered bones, hooves, and connective tissues of cows or pigs).
Photo by Kurt Schlosser via the Stranger Flickrpool
WOW. Tomorrows news today!
Possibly the best post ever.
They talk in that article about keeping ice cream in your freezer for 4 months. I'm lucky if it lasts 4 days!
You mean it's been some vegan bullshit up till now? That REALLY pisses me off.
Since bovine milk is essentially a mixture of grass and blood that comes out of cow tits, the addition of hooves shouldn't really faze you.
I (Heart) Connective Tissue
Cool, now I can get the Mad Cow Disease risk of hundreds of animals in one convenient serve!
I kind of like freezer-burned, melted-and-refrozen ice cream. Does that make me a bad person?
Q: Why was the chicken fired from The Stranger?
A: To get to the other Seattle alternative weekly!
Better than cow-based ice cream, according to several cow-eating people that I know. Especially the chocolate. It's fucking fantastic. And no lactose, no soy, no cholesterol, no connective tissue, no white sugar or corn syrup. . . but mainly, it's yummers.
Bronkitis @ #6,
I think mammery glands are actually modified sweat glands.
Does that make it *gelatino*?
Milk is indeed blood. Coconut milk, based on the nutrition label of that ice cream, may not have any cholesterol, but it is thick with saturated fats.
Is the gelatin replacing the seaweed that has been in ice cream for years?
Milk is not fucking blood. It's fat globules and other stuff suspended in water, secreted by glands.
That suddenly makes non-fat gross.
@16 - Milk contains living white blood cells.
great. way to ruin a vegetarian treat, scientists.
Breastmilk is amazing. The lactation consultant told us you can leave it out at room temperature for 8 hours and the bacteria count goes down, not up. Due to the living white blood cells, and tons of antibodies.
White blood cells are pus. Enjoy.
@11: that stuff is fucking delicious! i tried it once from sidecar and now all other ice creams fall short. well maybe not maggie mudd, but i like the shakes there better anyways. mmmm coconut ice cream.
"Contains white blood cells" doesn't make it blood. Blood is 1% white cells. Just because there's vanilla in chocolate chip cookies doesn't mean that cookies are vanilla.
Isn't gelatin already in food? Like marshmallows and such?
Marshmallows are, in fact, delicious.
Oh please. More hysterical yucky icky sensationalism from the vegans. Boring.
I've got news for you, princess: you're not special. You and me and everything else on this planet are composed of the exact same shit. Some of it really is shit. Sit back and tell yourself that ice-cream really is pig hoof if it makes you feel superior or feeds your eating disorder, but spare us the vegan dogma. It's pathetic.
Milk isn't "blood", but the liquid comes from blood plasma. So, I suppose it originated as blood. And yeah, it contains cells. But meat is made of cells too. As are plants. So, if you don't want to eat cells, you're gonna be hungry.
Milk from factory farmed animals -- that is, almost all milk -- comes, at least in part, from cows with mastitis. Udder infections. This puts pus (ie. white blood cells + bacteria = pus) and whole blood into the milk. Gross, but it'll be pasteurized. Won't hurt you.
It's the hormones and antibiotics that I'd worry about.
Let me reiterate that Coconut Bliss (see 11 and 21) is AWESOME. lol
It's not vegan dogma. Vegans would be against your having ice cream even if there weren't hooves added, etc etc. Just the mere enslavement and milking of the animal is crime enough for them.
It would be the vegetarians who pursue the ick factor on this one, folks who otherwise aren't against milking an animal for years but not killing it for its tasty flesh.
Another sort of person might be concerned about this news: those who are just sick of the continued dumbing down, decontenting, and industrialization of food at every turn. Real food gets rarer and rarer.
Besides, stuff like belongs in yummy sausages, heh heh.
Yes, coconut contains saturated fats. Some people think the shorter-chain saturated fats aren't as bad for you as the long-chain ones found in animal fats, but I'm not aware of research supporting that claim, and there is research contradicting it.
So, public service announcement: do not base your entire diet on ANY kind of frozen dessert. Kthx.
$53 says montexo is enormous and will die young of heart disease.
Ten bucks says that ice cream with gelatin isn't as good without, at least when it's still fresh.
My problem with the freaking-out over this is that it's not like gelatin is something we just came up with and decided to add to food now. It's already in food. If you've had mass-market marshmallows or gummi anything, you've had gelatin. So why the sudden fear now that it's likely to be added to mass-market ice cream as well?
Because the Stranger wants us to live in Fear.
Luckily, we in Seattle are made of stronger stuff than that.
wait, this was intended to be scary? I thought girlfriend was just excited that ice cream was about to get more delicious?
Some of us vegetarians just prefer to avoid gelatin - so I'm already avoiding mass-market marshmallows, gummi anything, and most yogurts. For non-vegetarians, I don't see how this would be a concern.
You can't replace cream with coconut.
What else were you gonna do with those hooves, anyhow?
Ice cream is so easy to make at home it isn't funny. I haven't bought ice cream in years. All you need are a refrigerator and a freezer, a sink and a countertop, and an electric ice cream freezer. I got mine for $6 at a thrift shop 15 years ago.
If you're not living in a storage locker or a Porta-Potty, you can make ice cream at home.
I was a vegetarian for a long time (am not anymore), and I had a kind of obsession with avoiding gelatin in dairy. Generally it's fat-free (sometimes low-fat as well) dairy products that use gelatin to make up for the creaminess that is lost when you take out the delicious milkfat. So if you want vegetarian yogurt or vegetarian sour cream, you are best off getting the full fat kind. It tastes better anyway- if you want low-fat you might as well not eat dairy in the first place.
Adding gelatin to full-fat dairy (like ice cream) is a departure from normal industrial food practices, far as I can tell.
As an aside, a fun trick you can play on vegans or vegetarians (which I used to do in college a lot) was tell them that you read in the newspaper that gelatin was now being added to fresh fruit to make it plumper. This is especially effective if they are biting into a plum or kiwi.
Don't knock it 'till you try it.
@36 I've been experimenting with making my own ice cream this summer -- strawberry /nectarine, and a really fat chocolate chip so far. Raspberry is next, if those half-flats at the QFC hold out until this weekend.
Lt's just clear up that whole milk/coconut thing right now, shall we?
@40 Thanks for that, J.T.C. You understand the importance of choreography in settling an argument.
I guess any reason to stop eating ice cream is a good one.
So, who sells this Coconut Bliss miracle?
Although, on some level, I do have to sympathize a with Fnarf here. A friend of mine once shared with me the secret for the GREATEST EFFING MILKSHAKE OF ALL TIME, and it is absolutely dependent on ice crystals. Ready for this?
You need at least two, and at most three ingredients. Cheaporiffic vanilla ice cream (the kind that's almost freezerburned already when you buy it), Milk (preferably 2% or whole), and, optionally, Hershey's chocolate syrup.
First, put a couple scoops of ice cream into your glass. Next, add just a bit of milk. Now, take a spoon (and this is the critical part)... smash the ice cream together with the milk for a few moments. DO NOT stir heavily, just mash it about for a no more than ten seconds, until the ice cream is fairly well covered by the milk. (If you want chocolate, add in a bit of the syrup before mashing...don't worry that it won't be mixed perfectly, it's part of the charm).
Now you need to wait. This is key! Give it a minute, maybe two. At this point, provided you've used fattening milk and cheapo ice cream, ice crystals will begin to form. Big time.
When you're ready, try a spoonful. You'll have a mixture of crunchy ice crystals and lovely smooth ice cream. Enfuckingjoy. it is incredible.
Nearly all dairy farms in the U.S. do regular somatic cell testing (SCC) for the presence of mastitis and other bacteriological infections, and milk found to exceed the USDA standard (anything over 300,000/ml, IIRC) is disposed of before entering the food supply.
In fact, US dairy farmers dump about $2B worth of bad milk every year, or about 11% of the annual supply, so as you say, there's very little risk in developing a bateriological infection from drinking milk - unless you're getting raw, unpasteurized milk from farmer Brown up the lane or something.
And as others have pointed out, all animal milk - including human milk, BTW - includes some white cells; that's one of the things that makes milk such a good food source for infants and small children, because those white cells help to boost immune systems.
Most dairy farmers are foregoing use of hormones - at the rate of something like 95% nationally - not because there are any proven health hazards, but rather for the quite simple reason that the general public has demonstrated a strong aversion to its use.
Locally, Darigold, the region's largest milk producer (and a company I worked for for 6 1/2 years, so I do know a bit about this subject), has had a policy in-place since the introduction of rBGH that 0% of milk from cows given the hormone will go into the food-chain supply, and the compliance rate (the number of coop farmers declining to use hormones in their stock) is virtually 100%.
In addition, it's been noted that cows given rBGH/rBST tend to have higher incidents of mastitis and other health issues, requiring increased use of antibiotics (for which milk is also tested, BTW), so purchasing milk labeled "hormone free" actually increases the likelihood it will come from cows given fewer antibiotics.
As for gelatin in ice cream, if it's high milk-fat content, "premium-style" ice cream, it probably doesn't need the mouth-feel boost anyway. So, just continue to buy the good stuff, and you should be fine.
All gelatin-is-gross-and-I-don't-want-it-in-my-ice-cream issues aside, what I don't get is why they want to make the ice cream last longer. Doesn't that actually hurt the Big Ice Cream Biz in the long run? I mean, if I have to buy new ice cream every time I eat it (about once a month), they will generate more money than if I can nurse the same half-gallon for four months. Seems like they are just digging in to their own profits.
I'm surprised the driving force behind a gelatin based solution is a Hindu (his name is a Hindu name, although he could be Christian--many Hindu converts to Christianity in India keep their Hindu name). His bio says he is from South India where Hindus are usually more strict in their vegetarianism as well. But given that gelatin uses cows hoofs even non-veg Hindus wouldn't eat that, musch less develop technology that uses it.
Ex Seattle-ite in India
I saw it at the Whole Foods in Portland over the weekend, so I'm assuming the ones here will have it, too. However, Madison Market has a local(ish) version of coconut ice cream that is equally delicious.
@48: Even QFC (on Broadway at least) carries coconut milk ice cream now. Soy cream is still my fav - it tastes better than dairy cream IMO and isn't more expensive. My digestive system can handle binging on soy cream way better than dairy cream too.
Cheese has rennet.
And don't even get me started about the scientific studies that prove most vegetables scream when you slaughter them for your salad.
Except the roots and shrooms for some reason.
Overly smooth ice cream is sickening.
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