Film Hollywood Giveth and Taketh Away
posted by July 25 at 12:00 PM
onAfter the steaming shitpile of dunderheaded ambition that was The Fountain, I am most pleased to see that Darren Aronofsky is aiming a little lower for his next movie: a remake of RoboCop.
Unfortunately, in the Great Wheel of Karma that is Hollywood, this means we’ll have to endure a third Harold and Kumar movie. The law of diminishing returns means that, after the pleasant and funny first movie and the awful and bad second movie, this third film will pulverize its viewers’ eyeballs to liquid. As long as I get to see RoboCop before that happens, that’ll be just fine.
Comments
While RoboCop is great and all, it's terribly sad to see Darren Aronofsky wasting his talent with crappy remakes. The Fountain was wonderful, and we need more original films. No more talent filmmakers wasting time with remake after remake after remake.
Robocop needs to be left alone because it was awesome. It was near-camp to be sure, but it also nailed it's subtext brilliantly (like the perils of privatizing the public sector, and junk). It sounds like the focus of the remake will probably eschew any of that and just throw some CGI on the screen.
Requiem for a Dream was terrible, The Fountain was terrible, and Pi, the movie that got him started, was really only interesting. Not wonderful, not particularly well-made: just interesting. The only thing Darren Aronofsky's ever done that impresses me in any way was getting into Rachel Weisz's pants.
Robocop, on the other hand, was a perfect movie all on its own, and a remake can only aspire to inadequate mediocrity.
RoboCop was a really brilliant satire, and seems to have foreseen the rise of corporate police forces and armies. I'm looking forward to what Darren Aronofksy will put together. The Fountain was ultimately a letdown, but I LOVED the on-the-cheap special effects using illuminated microorganisms. Of course, Requiem for a Dream continues to haunt me to this day.
You think Aronofsky will cast Jared Leto as his RoboCop? And that Jennifer Connelly will have to negotiate a double-dildo again?
Instead of crappy remakes, why don't they remake crappy movies and make them good.
At this rate, I estimate that in about 20 years Hollywood will be making "remakes" of films that haven't been made yet.
Isn't it a bit early for a remake? Why don't they go and redo Total Recall, Demolition Man, and Judge Dredd while they're at it?
If anything's ever begged to be remade, it's Judge Dredd. I watched that shit the other day on On Demand and HOLY FUCK! It's like Stallone and Armand Assante are both going for the Al Pacino Overacting Award. Oh, and Rob Schneider—a pustule of a human being—is, well, ugh.
I can hardly wait until Hollywood "re-imagines" other classics like Mandingo or Towering Inferno.
Zappa was right: The Nostalgia Loop gets shorter with every cycle. Soon we will be incapable of taking a step without being nostalgic for the step we just began, the step we are now taking. Complete cultural paralysis. Death by nostalgia.
No doubt somewhere somebody is green-lighting a remake of Snakes on a Plane.
The Fountain ruled.
Requiem horribly ripped off Pi, which ruled.
You suck.
@8,
Assante always wins the Al Pacino Overacting Award. Always.
@10
It's already happened. Exhibit A: I Love the New Millennium.
i guess if i love the 00s is on VH1 (remember iPods?!), then it means the first robocop is ancient history. is starship troopers far behind?
entirely unneccessary.
what we really need is part 2 of Buckaroo Banzai. it's as overdue as jetpacks.
Having seen the Harold and Kumar and the Robocop movies, I'd far rather watch the Harold and Kumar ones.
The societal insights in the former far outweigh the mealy-mouthed "insights" in the latter.
But I agree, we need part 2 of Buckaroo Banzai.
Oh Will, go design a 100-story low-income housing tower.
@15 & 16:
Agreed. The World Crime League has been let off-the-hook for far too long.
The original RoboCop is perfection as it is.
A remake will likely skip most of the fun irony, and drown us with CGI.
No thanks.
More awful remakes coming: The Day The Earth Stood Still, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Birds, Red Sonya, Warriors, The Thing
Awful sequel/prequel/reboots coming: Punisher, Terminator, Wargames, Tron
I'm forgetting a bunch
poor Aranofsky -- I hope he got a huge check up front at least
The first step, @17, is to admit you are powerless over Harold and Kumar.
The second step is to realize that Paul V is the anti-christ.
@7 Don't you DARE even suggest re-making Demolition Man. Anyone who does should be MDK'ed. Or forced to eat at Taco Bell forever.
I believe, however, they could easily re-make the Towering Inferno and set it in any of today's lovely mixed use buildings, like say Lincoln Square in Bellevue...
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