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Friday, July 11, 2008

Bradley Steinbacher 1994-2008

posted by on July 11 at 16:57 PM

A great deal of heart and soul and a surprising amount of nerdiness will walk out of the Stranger’s offices in just a few minutes as Bradley Steinbacher is going on to do bigger and better things with his life. And I think it’s about time someone called bullshit.

Seriously, Brad. What the fuck?

Brad has always been the quiet, reasonable one in the office, and his departure will undoubtedly endanger many of our lives.

Brad has prevented publisher Tim Keck from following through on his many threats to “fucking gut [us] assholes” for consistently failing to meet deadlines—which is often since we’re all a bunch of fucking potheads—and has always been there to pass out vitamin D and orange slices when someone has a bad trip at a staff meeting. More likely than not, by Tuesday, we’ll all have gone feral and eaten an intern.

So, fuck you for leaving, Obi-Brad Kenobi. You [were] our only hope.

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photo by Chieni, via Flickr.

RSS icon Comments

1

He got a lot done, for a fourteen-year-old.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 11, 2008 5:12 PM
2

We get it, we get it, you all loved Brad. Brad was so great, Brad was so funny, Brad was so clever etc.

But now that he's out of the way, I can only hope that Tim Keck will finally get rid of all you potheads and hire some real journalists.

Posted by Brad Brad Brad | July 11, 2008 6:07 PM
3

I've left a few jobs where my co-workers gave me a nice send-off. But the longest I was at those jobs was FOUR years. Brad was there for 14!? He deserves a fuckin' medal. "The Purple Heart of Mediadoms".

Posted by Afouryearold | July 11, 2008 6:15 PM
4

I'm scared that Brad is leaving because he's what makes the paper what it is. The paper is funny because of Brad. Without him, it will have to work 8 times harder to stand still.

However, I'm glad Brad is going to finally be making some money. Good for you, Brad!

Posted by la | July 11, 2008 6:18 PM
5

Who the fuck is Brad?

Posted by Eric | July 11, 2008 6:28 PM
6

Exactly.

Posted by Bradley Steinbacher | July 11, 2008 6:46 PM
7

So, without wanting to be indelicate, I have to say: I don't think Bradley Steinbacher is really dead. Is he?

Posted by elenchos | July 11, 2008 7:52 PM
8

Is Steinbacher the one with the big schlong?

Posted by Schlong fancier | July 12, 2008 8:34 AM
9

I want to forget all of this med school crap and work for the Stranger. I really do. If only I could write.

Wait, that's not actually a requirement, is it? Huh.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | July 12, 2008 3:28 PM
10

I suppose it's time Bradley decamped (no pun intended) before he becomes any fatter or uglier. Seriously, the once lean and virile Steinfocker has, in recent months, made a voyage to the island of lost looks. He used to be a cutie and now he's as much of a puffy hag as Schmader. Oh, what bad food and maryjanes will (un-)do to a man. A few months ago, I saw him on the number 8 bus one morning. We were both on our way to the SIFF press screening for THE WACKNESS, and there was pink-skinned little Bradley, plaid shirt, white iPod, and extra folds of flesh on his face and, well, all over. Perhaps in his new line of work (if indeed there truly is one--he could be staying home to sniff glue and masturbate) he can lay off the Olestra and twinkies.

Bon appetit!

Posted by critic-in-law | July 13, 2008 1:59 PM
11

Maybe Brad's moving on to a love-in with plagiarist Nate Lipidz. Kuh-peesh????

Posted by Reg-Ina Hack-ette | July 13, 2008 2:59 PM
12

@10 - duh.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 13, 2008 11:13 PM

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