Film This Week’s The Happening?
posted by June 20 at 12:00 PMon
Hey, remember how everybody was hating on that The Happening movie last week? Me neither! That’s because this week, everyone is hating on The Love Guru, Mike Myers’ newest movie.
To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious…No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.
And this is, come to think of it, something of an achievement. What is the opposite of a belly laugh? An interesting question, in a way, and to hear lines like “I think I just made a happy wee-wee” or “I’m making diarrhea noises in my cup” or to watch apprentice gurus attack one another with urine-soaked mops is to grasp the answer.
But my favorite bad review of The Love Guru is Ain’t It Cool’s Harry Knowles, who generally writes atrociously written favorable reviews of movies. He once equated Blade II to excellent cunnilingus, among other things. But the best part of Knowles’ reviews is that they’re usually overwhelmingly positive, atrociously written reviews of terrible movies, movies like AI and Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Just about every bad movie, like Daredevil, reduces Knowles to tears of joy. But he hates The Love Guru. The title of his review is “If Shit Got THE LOVE GURU On It, Shit Would Wipe It Off!” and it contains one of the funniest, and poorly written, paragraphs I’ve ever read in a film review:
Reviews of this film are nearly universally grotesquely negative - and with good reason. With this film, Myers puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it. This isn’t merely a bad film, but a painful experience that you keep telling yourself to leave. However, I have a very strong belief in witnessing the terror. People had to survive the Holocaust to hold those responsible, responsible. This film isn’t as bad as the Holocaust. Nothing could be. But in the realm of film going experiences - it’s a third trimester abortion. It is a pregnant woman smoking a cigarette and drinking a Coors Light.
Hopefully, for Lindy West’s next column, she’ll take in a marathon multiple viewing of The Love Guru and report back to us on the kinda-not-really Holocaust of this film.