Life This One’s for You, Sue!
posted by on June 5 at 11:51 AM
Hot on the heels of this comes the following delight from the current Last Days:
FRIDAY, MAY 30 “Hi, Last Days,” writes Hot Tipper Amelia, casually commencing the greatest Hot Tip since last week’s Value Village soggy-denim nightmare. “In an effort to stay out of the bars tonight, my friends and I decided to attend the 12:30 showing of the Sex and the City movie at Meridian 16, along with about a million high-school girls in uncomfortably fancy outfits. Carrie and friends appeared onscreen to squeals of delight—but about 10 minutes into the movie, a nondescript, non-bummy-looking girl across the aisle from me started vomiting, loudly and continuously for what seemed like eight minutes. It sounded like she was bailing out a sinking rowboat onto the concrete theater floor. The weirdest part was that in an incredible example of mob apathy, no one alerted the rent-a-cop or any other movie authorities. We were all punished for our silence 20 minutes later, when the puking girl’s friend (who’d been calmly watching the movie) suddenly dropped trou and started pissing on the floor. She steadied herself with one hand on the seat in front of her and took a seriously long drunk pee. The whole time she was doing it, she was defiantly staring at the people across the aisle from her. Then she went to sleep and started snoring like a lumberjack. It was the weirdest thing I have ever seen. When I finally told the usher what happened, he looked to his partner, a good-looking African-American SPD officer, and said, “Washington, it’s fun time.” The two reappeared from the theater with two incoherent, vaguely Asian-looking young ladies, both wearing summery white dresses covered in vomit and urine. The movie was pretty good.”
What the fuck?
this is what you get when you fette crazy white ladies
Gah-ROSS
...and a fetish is born.
Now that microwave burrito have been eating for lunch tastes slightly of Asian-looking vomit and urine. Thanks s'much.
I threw up when I saw it too.
i think i'm in love.
I threw up when I saw it too.
Maybe the Slog should have a new warning like NSFW. Maybe NSWE - Not Suitable While Eating.
"Washington, it’s fun time."
That made my day.
so was washington the sec. guards name, or was he stating a general inference about WA state? Funny!
A moratorium on piss stories, please.
Mmmm...inebriated and partially incapacitated vaguely Asian 'tang. I can't think of a better date.
You could not happen to tell if those were the same girls from "Two girls one cup" could you?
Perfection!
This is the best story I've heard in a long time.
Um.
Wow.
I very nearly had the same vomiting/floor-peeing reaction to this movie, and I was stone cold sober when I saw it. It would have been far more endurable if I'd have been blotto out of my mind.
vaguely asian? probably filipino
These are chicks I want to know. Now.
@20: Seriously. Bitches know how to party. At a fucking movie, even.
How come nothing as interesting as this ever happens IN the movie? From what I've heard, SATC is just an endless string of dick and poop jokes, like the Farrelly Brothers. I want to see that Asian gal's defiant stare.
fake
yes, this happens. BF & I saw something similar at that Puppetry of the PEN** travelling 2-man show, except that the drunk girls were Lynnwood blond hotties of scandinavian descent. We saw at least half a dozen in this sad state. I am still amazed at how incapacitated girls become when they cross that line into blitheringly drunk with no control over bodily functions
Not only does this story totally RULE, I know Amelia and she is not making any of that shit up.
Except for the part about the movie being good. Had I known barfing was an option, I would have done it at yesterday's matinee, just to liven up the show.
Too many cosmos?
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