Comments on The 10 Most Terrifying Guides to Sex

God, those write-ups were hilarious. Should we guess which ones you have on your shelf? I'm going with Erotic Knifeplay and Dungeon Emergencies. I'm also kind of hoping you have the Make your Own Sex Toys book and will post something from it.

The contest is to guess which five....

I'm guessing Knifeplay, Dungeon Emergencies, Make Your Own Sex Toys, A Hand in the Bush, and, uh, How to be the Best Lover.

I'm pretty sure Dan's mentioned the fisting one.

If your sex does require an emergency supply kit, and ends up with someone passed out, covered in hives and bleeding while the fire department is kicking your door in, we humbly suggest you just seriously did something wrong. Like really wrong. Whatever you were doing, don't do it again. For the love of God, don't do it again.

For whatever reason, this made me laugh until I cried.

I bet Dan has the knifeplay, the fisting, the dungeon emergencies, the heomemade sex toys, and the genital torture books.

Who has the teenage boy one? Please transcribe passages for our amusement.

Only #10 and #3 look even interesting.

Even if I don't like knives.

But #3 would have been useful in high school ... because it may be obvious once you are experienced, but in high school most of what you "know" isn't even correct.

Any list with the title "10 Most Terrifying Guides to Sex" that doesn't list the dolphin sex manifesto is not worth its weight in Flipper jizz.

I found one of those books profoundly disturbing. The rest I ordered on Amazon!

Mr. Poe made it into The Onion this week!

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/controversial_court_ruling_upholds

OK...now, who'd be surprised if you had ALL of the books on your self, Dan? You're one of the worldliest people I know.

I don't understand why the authors think geriatric sex is scary. Sounds a little ageist to me - and since all of us are going to get there eventually (if we're lucky), people need to cut that shit out.

Of course, we're all most physically attractive during our breeding years. That's how biology works. But desire for intimacy doesn't wan all that much. Personally, I think it's a little distasteful to cackle and dismiss older people's desires.

Ashamed or proud? I'm thinking it's the latter.

"I would say this is a great book for details regarding how to put one's whole hand into a vagina."

@4 that one made me laugh audibly as well. garnering many confused coworker glances.

What have they got against fisting? There aren't any sounding books out there to be freaked out by?

You obviously haven't met Mr Poe.

He's dry and acerbic not loud and fruity.

More Clifton Webb and less Rip Taylor...

I'm a fag, not a faggot.

I'm dashing off, as we speak, to copyright, "I'm a Fag, not a Faggot".

It'll be on t-shirts in the Castro by morning.

I'm making one for Shia LaPoof that'll say, "I'm a fucking Dumbshit, not a Faggot"

It's okay. Most of peoples "original" ideas come from me.

*peoplez