Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Reading Tonight | Currently Hanging »

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Stealing Jesus

posted by on June 24 at 10:27 AM

Conservative Christian leader James Dobson—who said during the primaries that he couldn’t support John McCain if he got the GOP nomination—isn’t too happy with Barack Obama right now.

You see, Barack Obama somehow got it into his head that he could read the scriptures for himself, interpret them for himself, and develop his own personal relationship with Jesus. As any student of the protestantism should know, the whole point of breaking with Rome in the way, way back was to prevent people from reading the scripture themselves, perhaps in the local vernacular, and forming a personal, intimate, relationship with their savior that wasn’t mediated by priests.

RSS icon Comments


Black people aren't supposed to interpret the scriptures themselves.

Posted by OR Matt | June 24, 2008 10:32 AM

I distinctly remember this guy called Jesus saying that Dobson was an apostate Pharisee ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 24, 2008 10:36 AM

I am a liberal, progressive Christian who uses the bible (particularly the New Testament) as a spiritual guide and not a bludgeon. I am please that conservative bible-thumping zealots may actually take the proper course and just not vote for President this fall. This makes sense to me.

Posted by Adiabatic Man | June 24, 2008 10:41 AM

People should read Obama's Call.To.Renewal speech, because I've heard a lot of nasty bitching about him and religion from athiest. I'm an athiest but athiests have really turned into assholes lately.

Not to play the race card but are the "religion is a cancer and churces never do anything but evil" assholes even aware of the Black civil rights movement in this country?

Anyway here are some quotes:
"I am not suggesting that every progressive suddenly latch on to religious terminology - that can be dangerous. Nothing is more transparent than inauthentic expressions of faith. As Jim has mentioned, some politicians come and clap -- off rhythm -- to the choir. We don't need that.

In fact, because I do not believe that religious people have a monopoly on morality, I would rather have someone who is grounded in morality and ethics, and who is also secular, affirm their morality and ethics and values without pretending that they're something they're not. They don't need to do that. None of us need to do that."

"This brings me to my second point. Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal, rather than religion-specific, values. It requires that their proposals be subject to argument, and amenable to reason."

Posted by daniel | June 24, 2008 10:45 AM

"Instructions on how to interpret the Scripture will be issued through the Jumbotron. Do not avert your eyes from the Jumbotron. Wicked influences may try to persuade you to look away from the Jumbotron, but remember the lesson of Lot's wife and do not be swayed by willful curiosity! It is through the Jumbotron and only through the Jumbotron that all may be saved."

Posted by flamingbanjo | June 24, 2008 10:48 AM

That sucking sound you hear is the last gasp of the fundies' political capital leaving the room.

Posted by Mahtli69 | June 24, 2008 10:50 AM

Don't black people have a different Jesus? Or did that change?

Posted by John Galt | June 24, 2008 10:58 AM

@4: Oh noes, reason as a basis for public policy? No wonder James Dobson's head is exploding.

Posted by Greg | June 24, 2008 11:00 AM

"the whole point of breaking with Rome in the way, way back was to prevent people from reading the scripture themselves"

Dan, don't you mean: was to _allow_ people to read the scripture themselves? see

Posted by gavastik | June 24, 2008 11:03 AM

Well I'm an atheist and I just want to say those who say I've turned into an asshole lately don't know really me very well at all.

Posted by elenchos | June 24, 2008 11:07 AM

@6 - ha ha, that's right, and it must just feel like a swift kick in the nuts to someone like Dobson. He's just pouting because he knows that, no matter who gets elected in November, he won't have a private line to the ear of the next President of the United States.

Posted by Hernandez | June 24, 2008 11:07 AM

What the fuck does Dan know about the Bible or God.

It's funny, you use religion as a literary device only when it suits you. Anyone who has followed you for longer than 5 minutes knows that you suck goat shit out of kids asses.

Posted by ecce homo | June 24, 2008 11:09 AM

@4: "daniel" - I'm an Atheist as well - and the speech you quote was the first time in memory I have heard a politician speak to religion and not gouge my eyes out.

The full "Call to Renewal" speech can be seen here:
Posted by John Galt | June 24, 2008 11:11 AM

So am I to understand that Dobson is a fucking PAPSIST!!??!! Dobson is a member of the same church that Haggee called the great Whore?!?!?

HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | June 24, 2008 11:13 AM

elenchos yeah I was wildly generalizing for effect? stupidness? Obviously I wasn't spelling very well either. But anyway there is this Dawkins et al militant atheism now that's really over the top in their rhetoric.

(God I was typing fast, FWIW the periods in Call.To.Renewal are me brainfarting. Periods between words are a shortcut instead of quoting that works for Google searches. I'm not proposing we adopt this convention for general writing though.)

Posted by daniel | June 24, 2008 11:17 AM

@9: Dude, sarcasm.

Posted by Greg | June 24, 2008 11:20 AM



Posted by keshmeshi | June 24, 2008 11:20 AM

Dobson says "Obama should not be referencing antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament."
Does this mean that Dobson is gonna stop hurling that tired, old Leviticus passage about killing homosexuals at us cocksuckers?

Posted by bucket | June 24, 2008 11:35 AM

If Dobson wants everyone to interpret the Bible according to his own beliefs, well then, he can just bloody well run for president himself.

Meanwhile, we'll just wait and see how that turns out for him, 'kay?

Posted by COMTE | June 24, 2008 11:40 AM

maybe the Protestants should have another Reformation. If they do, does that make them Catholic again? Like multiplying two negative numbers?

Either way, Dobson is certainly Pope-esque in his demagoguery.

Some one go nail a note to his door.

Posted by damnqueerfuck | June 24, 2008 12:10 PM


Never heard of him ...

Oh, you mean that monkey?

I have him down for "conversion" by pirates next year ....

Posted by Flying Spaghetti Monster | June 24, 2008 12:20 PM

Dueling religious interpretations. Ugh! I'm so fucking sick of "Christianity" and it's alledged followers. What we need is a new religion. One that doesn't brainwash children so they grow up to be irrational knuckle draggers.

Posted by Vince | June 24, 2008 12:25 PM

This ALMOST makes me want to foreswear being agnostic if only so I can root for that Christ fella to actually have his Second Coming if only to put assholes like Dobson in their place by saying, for the planet to hear, "Uh, no, James, that's not what I said or meant..."


Posted by Andy Niable | June 24, 2008 12:53 PM

Personally, I'm more into the Tao of Pooh or the Te of Piglet ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 24, 2008 1:34 PM

My understanding of the campfire stories of bronze age goatherders is more accurate than yours!

Posted by pox | June 24, 2008 1:52 PM

...especially when that shit has been transliterated about a dozen times through five or six different languages.

If the guys who read it in the original language can't agree on a common interpretation, why should anyone expect somebody far down the telephone line to be MORE accurate than them?

Posted by COMTE | June 24, 2008 2:05 PM

OK, sarcasm. Doesn't work so well (for me) in very long sentences. Duh.

Posted by gavastik | June 24, 2008 3:55 PM

Is Fucking Up Your Family a "non-profit" organization? If so, that status must be revoked immediately and every cent of the fallout used to subsidize abortions (and birth control, ECB).

@6 -- A gorgeous observation. Thanks for making my day!

Posted by Dan | June 24, 2008 9:25 PM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.