??!! Please Don’t Make Me Go
posted by June 6 at 15:26 PM
onStrange Maps has a map of heaven up. It’s too big to post here, but can be found here.
Apparently, Michael Jordan is already in heaven somehow. And there’s America Land, where “every day is Memorial or Veteran’s Day.” Be sure to check out the Marital-Coitus Castle, which is over by the Catholic Section.
I would be so pissed if I died and woke up here.
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I don't know. The Arena of Answers would be neat. I could kill loads of time there. As well as Fantasy Land, which I imagine as a Star Trek holodeck. I've always wanted a holodeck.
I'd be pissed if I die and go anywhere.
Loved it. Sort of similar to:
http://www.heaventour.org/
which is hilarious, especially when you read the guestbook and see that many of the people visiting the site believe this and look forward to going there.
"The first stop on our tour through heaven is the gate. The gate is made of one solid pearl and is so tall you can't see the top! The walls are solid jasper and are 200 feet thick all the way around heaven.
If you come here don't think about getting around the gates by jumping over that wall though. The fifty foot tall sword-bearing angels on either side of the gates will take care of that problem."
I liked the old version of Heaven before they inserted all those Johnny Depp animatronics.
This is so much better than the FSM heaven.
There's no way that's serious. Michael Jordan, sit on God's lap, smug aetheist next door... this has to be parody. Right?
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