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The self-esteem angle on unsafe sex seems to proceed from the dodgy assumption that people engage in risky sex exclusively because of some inner self-loathing and never, you know, because it feels good.

Posted by flamingbanjo | June 27, 2008 12:39 PM

i thought you didn't become gay unless you had a big cock.

Posted by grower not a shower | June 27, 2008 12:42 PM

wtf? I don't care about a gay man's self-esteem issues with his tiny dick. If you're anyone having sex, gay or straight, ESPECIALLY if you're not using condoms, and you're not getting tested regularly; you're an idiot.

I'm a straight girl who gets tested for ALL std's each year. Sure, it's not cheap but it's worth the peace of mind.

What I'm surprised about is the ad...I was just tested again 4 months ago and they drew blood. No finger prick. No swab. I want THAT test! :(

Posted by fs | June 27, 2008 1:01 PM

Well if that isn't the stupidest public health message since "Condoms and Meth go together, yay lets smoke!"

Posted by vooodooo84 | June 27, 2008 1:22 PM

Foreplay is the most important part of sex for me, but oral sex lines up 2nd. Condoms destroy the sensational act of sucking warm, hard penis: immediately. There's no flavored condom that will stop that. Sucking latex cock is boring, sad, and yes, it leaves you unfulfilled if you haven't already ripped it off to turn lame into awesome.

But you do have to worry about precum. You really, really do. And you almost always end up wanting to suck that load down in the heat of the moment. There isn't any way around that if you're as impatient and stupid as I am, but you can at least reduce your risks by following these tubular rules:

One you pull down his pants...

- Does he have a hot face? No? Then why did you just pull down his pants? People will talk...
- Is it a pretty penis? Is this a penis you could suck for at least one year without needing a variety? No? Then don't suck it. Leave.
- Is his penis gorgeous, but his body doesn't do anything for you? Yeah? Then don't suck it. Leave.
- Does he provide boner-killing commentary during foreplay? LEAVE. Ugh.
- Is he [now] trying to rape you? Is he older and stronger? Well, you shouldn't have been so inconsiderate and irresponsible. Have fun showering five times a day and shitting blood for two weeks. If you're still alive, go get tested.

With all of the above in mind, you should get tested every 3 months. Period. If you hate getting your blood drawn and you're too lazy to get tested even with a finger prick, like me, just lie about it. Like me.

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 27, 2008 1:28 PM

Oh, I almost forgot.

- Is his penis smaller than 7"? Point and laugh, and then leave. The great thing about gays is that even with average size, you won't have to worry about them bothering you after you make fun of it. It's the #1 thing that will cancel all communication for eternity. Weee!

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 27, 2008 1:34 PM

^ fascinating. that probably works

Posted by Non | June 27, 2008 1:38 PM

Really gross. Is Gay Week over yet, please?

Posted by hohoho green giant | June 27, 2008 1:41 PM

Poe: Your rules work for straight women too. We all need to evalute our men after that crucial 1st step (too small, ugly, bent).

And yes, people will no uggies. Unless you want to kill yourself afterward.

Posted by Original Monique | June 27, 2008 2:02 PM

Hello, Dan!

Duh! Testing prevents HIV, not condoms! And besides, men with small pricks don't get laid anyway!

Posted by oneway | June 27, 2008 6:21 PM

Say "YES" to War on Iraq by Dan Savage Oct. 2002

"War may be bad for children and other living things, but there are times when peace is worse for children and other living things, and this is one of those times."

"The War on Iraq will make it clear to our friends and enemies in the Middle East (and elsewhere) that we mean business: Free your people, reform your societies, liberalize, and democratize... or we're going to come over there, remove you from power, free your people, and reform your societies for ourselves."

Washington Post June 27, 2008

"Bomb Kills Marines, Iraqi Tribal Leaders
At Least 40 Die in Two Separate Attacks"

Posted by danfansarewarmongersupporters | June 28, 2008 9:50 AM

the following:

Being safe means taking all reasonable precautions—which means, for neg guys, yes condoms for anal sex with partners whose HIV-status they're not absolutely certain of—and taking those precautions consistently

should read:
Being SAFER means taking all reasonable precautions—which means, for neg guys, yes condoms for anal sex with partners whose HIV-status they're not absolutely certain of—and taking those precautions consistently

condoms are not safe, they are safer. Even with a low (though not rare) failure rate, a single incident of failure is a horrfic event. Not only for gays with the HIV risk. Ask any straight guy who has faced a condom failure and spends the next days and weeks scared to death the he might be a daddy. If you (gay) are going to do this a lot, you would be smart to have a "morning after" antiviral profolatic plan.

Posted by asfsaf | June 30, 2008 2:52 PM

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