SIFF Moby-Dick Fanfic
posted by June 3 at 12:44 PMon
Being a certifiable Moby-Dick freak (custom embroidered throw blankets are involved), I went to see Captain Ahab last Friday night at the Uptown. I was disappointed.
Brendan’s review—“the deadly sea pulling Ahab like the moon pulls the tides”—is so much more interesting and lovely than the actual movie, which, in my opinion, is just psychologically shallow, mostly humorless, not-even-pretty-to-look-at Moby-Dick fanfic. Ahab’s development moves forward in leaps and lurches, without explanation beyond the vague notion that Nobody Puts Ahab in a Corner. Well, we already knew that. What else’ve you got? Grown Ahab is too powerful, young Ahab too uncertain, to justify one another. And neither of them comes anywhere close to Melville’s Ahab. So why bother?
My friend and I did laugh, painfully and uncontrollably, at the “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor” fast-motion whaling sequence (seriously, France, y’all are bonkers).
Also, dude, YOUR PEG LEG LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO WIFFLEBALL BAT. You should take that shit back.
Before the movie, in the middle of Andy Spletzer’s “Blah blah blah, you don’t have to have read the book, blaaaaaah…” introduction, the man to our right (who, apparently, has sat through one too many blah blah blah SIFF speeches) muttered, with unrestrained malice, “I wish you would just shut your fucking mouth.” That was the most interesting part of the whole night.
It’s playing again today at SIFF Cinema, 4:30 pm. It’s not terrible. But it’s not Melville.