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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Live-Slogging the Barely Relevant NBA Draft

posted by on June 26 at 16:59 PM

5:00 - Sonics have five more picks. I can’t feign enthusiasm for another half hour before the next pick, and it doesn’t look like ESPN has any interest in talking about the Seattle lawsuit, so go to a sports site or blog for the rest.

4:58 - Durant’s in NYC to make a comment on behalf of the team about Westbrook. “He’s a great defender, a great guy to be around, I heard.” Huh. I’d love to hear more personality guesses like that. “I hear he makes a mean-ass calzone.”

4:55 - ESPN’s post-pick highlights show a dude who can cut and spin through the lane, toss up nice floaters, and—hoo boy—slam the ball over dudes twice his size. And if he’s as good a defender as ESPN says, that’s a boost with immediate impact for the squad. But the Sonics’ backcourt isn’t as hungry as the front and post; I would’ve gone bigger.

4:53 - No trade. David Stern: “The Seattle Supersonics select Russell Westbrook from UCLA.” No stutter in saying the city name out loud.

4:49 - OJ Mayo goes to the Timberwolves. You may best know him as the kid recently busted for accepting thousands of bucks from a pro sports agent before finishing college. As an ESPN commentator noted earlier, this means he’s already prepared for an NBA player’s typical challenges: accepting gobs of cash. SONICS R ON THE CLOK. Other sites say that rumored Sonics trade deals are bupkis. I hope not; nothing left on the table really says “Top Four Pick.”

4:47 - The Times’ Sonics blog mentions that Bennett had to race across town to head to the Sonics’ war room, where they’re working out their draft day moves. Maybe Bennett will poison the draft by accusing the team with the next pick, the Minnesota Timberwolves, of picking a better player than the Sonics will get due to “ulterior motives”?

4:43 - Sorry, Durant. Your old pal Michael Beasley is heading to Miami. Now the suspense begins, as the Timberwolves’ pick will pretty much decide who our “best of the rest” pick is. Though then again, the Sonics’ GM has been a trading freak the past few years; maybe we’ll trade down to nab some much-needed veteran leadership?

4:41 - Unless, of course, the Sonics are dumb enough to take Beasley in a freak trade.

4:38 - “The Chicago Bulls select Yngwie Malm…” no, it’s Derrick Rose. Miami is on the clock. Their coach, Pat Riley, invented suspense by suggesting obvious #2 pick Beasley is not fit for their team. Expect Yngwi—er, Beasley—to get drafted in the next few minutes while the analysts bore us to death pretending there’s any other result coming.

4:35 - ESPN’s analysts make up for the lack of suspense by babbling on and on about Derrick Rose, the presumed first pick for Chicago. Yawn.

4:32 - David Stern opens. When the NBA commish says, “Thank you for supporting us during one of our most successful and exciting seasons,” I already feel sick and want to turn the television off. Yeah, way to reward the “support” of your Seattle fans, schmucko. But “Seattle” has the fourth pick for now, so here I am. Bulls are on the clock for pick #1.

RSS icon Comments

1

wow! what a pick! i'm really going to miss them now!

Posted by max solomon | June 26, 2008 5:23 PM
2

NBA?

Um, haven't the Sonics left yet?

...

Why not?

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 26, 2008 7:13 PM

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