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Thursday, June 12, 2008

I’m So All Over This

posted by on June 12 at 16:18 PM

According to the Huffington Post, Bill O’Reilly has a memoir coming out this fall. It’s title is A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity. I will totally review the fuck out of this book.


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what the hell kind of title is that?

Posted by boxofbirds | June 12, 2008 4:31 PM

Maybe we'll get to hear about the roots of his bizarre falafel/loofah fetish!

Posted by Bison | June 12, 2008 4:31 PM

A bold, fresh piece of what, did you say?

Posted by Fnarf | June 12, 2008 4:37 PM

Terrible title for a terrible person.

Posted by laterite | June 12, 2008 4:50 PM

#1 NYT best seller, available at every Walmart near your stupid republican relatives!

Posted by max solomon | June 12, 2008 4:58 PM

I think this is going to be the only review from Mr. Constant that I will look forward to.

Posted by Etherite | June 12, 2008 5:24 PM

Under no circumstances should you hid any stacks of this book under a really boring title so that nobody buys it.

Or shelve the library copy behind other library books that nobody looks at so that it doesn't get checked out.

That would be ... patriotic.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 12, 2008 5:32 PM

For the love of...

"Its" !!!

"It's" is a contraction of "it is."

Aren't you supposed to be a friggin journalist, for crying out loud? ...And no, it's not just a typo. For anyone interested in a career in writing, basic rules like that, along with "there/their/they're," singular/plural agreement, along with several other key points should be so seared into your mind that the mere glance of something so appalling would distress you. It distresses me!
God wants me to destroy journalists who make mistakes! When do you ride the bus?

Posted by MR. Language Person | June 12, 2008 5:40 PM

Bill O'Reilly is the only one who can make you equate humanity with shit.

Posted by A Bold Fresh Piece of Shit | June 12, 2008 6:19 PM

You didn't finish your review of Let's Talk About Love: A Journey to the End of Taste by Carl Wilson. Let's get to that first.

Posted by Jimmy | June 12, 2008 10:28 PM

@8: Isn't (contraction there) a posessive version of a noun expressed the same way? Gabe's's (not a contraction there)my title. Doesn't (contraction there) that also fit the rules??? "it" is a noun, isn't (contraction there) it? Has it's(not a contraction there) meaning changed so it's (contraction there) no longer subject to the posessive?

Posted by Gabe | June 13, 2008 1:35 AM

hehe....screwed that up a bit @11, but doesn't the point hold? Posessive version gets the same punctuation, right?

Posted by Gabe | June 13, 2008 1:37 AM

Nerp. Not with ITS/IT'S. It's just a rule, there to show a distinction between the possessive and the contraction. Used to be, 19th century or so, people used IT'S for possession, and TIS for the contraction of IT and IS (sometimes 'TIS). But we do sometimes us 'S for both: as in, TOM'S A GOOD GUY (contraction of TOM IS) and TOM'S SHOES (possession). Different meanings, same punctuation. But ITS/IT'S has a different rule for some reason. Deal with it.

Posted by Punctuation Person | June 13, 2008 6:44 AM

This is an Internet joke...


Posted by k | June 13, 2008 6:45 AM

At first glance, I thought the title was "A Bold Piece of Human Flesh"

Posted by Mahtli69 | June 13, 2008 7:57 AM

At first glance, I thought the title was "A Bold Piece of Human Flesh"

Posted by Mahtli69 | June 13, 2008 8:04 AM

@11, 12.

Ouch, Gabe. You did that to hurt me, right? Fine, call Paul, and you two get on the bus together. Hold a white stick with red writing on it so I know who you are.

Posted by MR. Language Person | June 13, 2008 8:54 AM

@13, the possessive "its" doesn't have an apostrophe because it's a pronoun, like yours, theirs, or hers. It's not an arbitrary rule at all.

Posted by julia | June 13, 2008 9:27 AM

As an academically-trained linguist (UW MA 2005), I believe its time that we sent the whole apostrophe confusion controversy to it's final resting place. The apostrophe, like whiteness, is socially constructed, and it belongs exactly where you, the linguistic actor, feels like it does.

Or should.


Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 13, 2008 9:41 AM

@19. If the apostrophe feels right, use it, eh? I can live with that ruling. I also like your usage in the post (used for posession and not for contraction). Explains why I never go the rule on that if there actually is none.

Posted by Gabe | June 13, 2008 10:02 AM

Jeff Stevens ate a bowl of stupid for breakfast again. Everybody knows you put the apostrophe just before the last letter of every word, jus't lik'e thi's.

I, unlike white trash academic pretenders like Jeff Stevens, never do that because I'm a rebel. I break all the rules.

Can you dig it? I knew that you could.

Posted by Cookie W. Monster | June 13, 2008 11:19 AM


That is the dumbest argument I have heard in a long time. ALL of language is a social construct. The words, the spelling, the whole damn thing! Without a social construction, we wouldn't have any language

Correct use of grammar, punctuation, etc. is necessary to be precise and accurate. Try telling a lawyer that the basic idea is all that matters. Little changes in punctuation, word choice, etc., can cause millions of dollars in a decision. I'll give you an example appropriate for this board's subjects. It may be a little bit more nit-picky than most are willing to get, but it's a great example. I bet you think there's no problem with the following sentence as some guy's justification for why his girlfriend should not leave him for another guy:
"I like you more than him."
There's nothing grammatically incorrect with it, as long as the speaker means, "I like you more than I like him," which would be obvious to the girl (I would hope). To be precise, he would need to say, "I like you more than he," meaning "I like you more than he does."

...grumble, grumble, "socially constructed" my foot... *grumble*

Posted by MR. Language Person | June 13, 2008 12:21 PM


You have failed miserably to answer the original question. Namely, Where do I put this damn apostrophe?

In other words, Where did I leave my meta-vitamins?

Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 13, 2008 3:32 PM

And that goes for you too, MR. (sic) Language Person!

Posted by Jeff Stevens | June 13, 2008 3:35 PM

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