Comments on I Couldn't Help But Wonder

i'd like to congratulate you on your first vapid and uselss post. i expect there will be many more to come.

nnnnNNNAAAAERRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHNHHHHHH

Sorry sweetie you are a moron.

1) There are lots of gay people, in PLENTY OF EPISODES. Getting "married" (We're registered at Barney's!), throwing parties, asking for eggs from Carrie, etc.

2) There are lots of times the girls dont get along, get in fights, etc. (as in when Samatha does Charlotte's brother, when Samantha is being a bitch at Miranda's moms funeral)

3) I'll go along with the family thing, but Miranda's mom dies, and she explains that she doesnt get along with them or anyone in her family (she also makes referece to her sisters in the baby episode)

So no. You are wrong. And the movie and the show are about relationships and how stupid girls and guys are...gays and straights, 20 somethings and 50 somethings. So I think you missed the point. Did you only watch a few episodes? I have seen the entire series front to back at least 10 times.

And the movie rules. I love it and am seeing it at least 3 times in the theater.

/end SatC fangirl rant.

Break her! Breeeeeeeeeak her!

Maybe, just maybe, you can't fathom your #2 because everybody fucking hates you and your tedious shit. What are you, twelve?

My goodness, there's a whole lot of pathetic going around today.

like this is more vapid then celebrating the POSSIBLE discontinuation of a CAR (A FUCKING CAR) that just happens to be big.

Aww, Poe, your rage is adorable.

Clearly, the internet gods have foresaken us.

Well, thank goodness you said FUCK in your first post. Now we know you are coooool...

Seeing these posts on Slog is the equivalent to wearing secondhand underpants. I feel violated.

Original Monique is right, but Mr. Poe needs to save his rage for the fact that some moron wants to focus on a car in a SATC thread.

@8 -- Think again. He's like those people in 28 Days Later. I mean, seriously, if you get near Mr. Poe right now, he's liable to rip out your carotid and chew it like a shred of Oh Boy Oberto jerky.

Chelsea,

You are not funny or interesting. At all. Neither is your blog.

Gah. This is not a good start. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but this does not bode well at all.

The Sex and the City movie was vapid vapid vapid. (I was forced to endure it with a friend over the weekend; ugh.) It should never, ever, be even mentioned on Slog, much less discussed. Tedious Hollywood shlock.

About sex columnists and shoes: have you ever SEEN Dan's collection of shoes?

Yesterday Slog deginerated into the blog for Women's Wear Daily. Today, this post resembles something from Jezebel. What next I ask you? WHAT NEXT???

emily gould....emily gould....

@13: I'm picturing more of a Jack Russell terrier. Adorable, but fierce.

Also, they didn't couple up teh gheys. They made them akwardly kiss on new years. Those 2 had never gotten along (if you SAW the show you would know that) since 1 found the others BF used to be in a mag selling himself.

So yeah, all your arguments against the series are dumb. The fashion is good, but yeah, duh.

And THE MOVIE IS AWESOME**

**if you are a girl, a really, really femme boy, or watched the series in full

Since when is saying something "has nothing to do with my life" a reasonable criticism. Sex and the City has nothing to do with my life either, and I don't even care about the clothes, but I still recognize that it's a good show.

@20: I'm a girl. Do I have to think it's awesome? (I'm unlikely to ever see it, but still, I'd rather not be forced into liking anything Sex and the City related because of my gender.)

Hang in there Chelea. Mr Poe is just trying to work out some deep issues, and the rest are just jealous.

(but seriously, who gives a fuck?) That is the perfect comment to a spoiler alert to SATC.

Finally, Carrie has a horse face. And her head isentirely too big for her scrawny body...

Wait. Is the slog trying to start their own whats-her-name-from-Gawker nonsense? (THANK you @18) I'm very sorry Chelsea, maybe we'd have a good time giggling about such crap while wasted in a bar, but I don't need Jezebel-esque tripe in my slog. And preemptively, do not link anything from a design blog.

Is "Chelsea Alvarez-Bell" an anagram for something crazy, like "Savage is pulling our leg"?

Or is this, Ecce Homo in drag?

If you're going to have an inane guest blogger, then get the Queen: Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid from the SGN...

Chelsea, child, there's still time to save yourself. Get out NOW, before the vitriolic bile of the SLOG Commenters renders your psyche down to a quivering mound of aspic-like goo.

And shame on you Amy Kate, for throwing such a naive waif to the salacious predations of this vile conglomeration of misanthropes, cranks, poltroons and parasites - they will eat her alive - ALIVE, I TELL YOU! - and gleefully pick the shreds of her rent flesh from their rotting incisors with her very bones.

I work out all of my deep issues on my Jew's penis. Not Slog. I come to Slog to relax and laugh. And yet here I am, with my blood vessels about to explode.

Wow this month is going to be so hard to watch. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure this can only end up like this.

@Abby, sorry to generalize. I realize there are girls that will not like, but more often than not I think they will like it in spite of themselves.

Also, depends on your mood I guess. ;)

So to rephrase: most girls, most femme boys, and most people who liked the show.

@27: does someone need a hug?

Anagram for Chelsea Alvarez-Bell:

Ablaze, as hell. Clever.

Coincidence? I think not.

Awww. Thanks, OM. As I said, it's unlikely I'm going to be seeing it anyway, as I'm planning to spend this month cheering Freddie Ljungberg's cheekbones (and probably Germany as well) in Euro 2008 and I only have so much time in my life.

Hmmm.... this is all very suspicious.

Guest bloggers = bad idea. Please discontinue.

Quick: someone send a bottle of Jack Daniels, a vial of Percocets and his lubed up Jew over to Mr Poe's house, STAT!!

He needs soothing relief or he's gonna blow.

Also, for your first "guest blog," Chelsea, why not write about something you know about? Every sentence of your post indicates that you know next-to-nothing about Sex and the City. So why even go there? If it's not your kind of thing, fine. But why the contemptuous attitude towards individuals who might appreciate the show? It is even possible that some people just might see something in it that you don't?

About Sex and the City only appealing to a certain demographic that some have commented on, I just don't understand this. I've watched the whole series with my wife and enjoyed it very much. Like some of the other HBO shows - The Wire, The Sopranos, and Six Feet Under - SATC is one of the best shows on television. Some SATC episodes (and seasons) are better than others, but as a whole, the writing, directing, and acting, are better than most any comparable show I've seen.

@35: He needs soothing relief BY blowing.

Too obvious? Probably.

It's like being held down and raped with a Broomstick of Stupid.

What did we ever do to you to deserve this, Savage?

Hang in there, Chelsea. Apparently, there are are a lot of bitter hipsters reading the slog today. Seriously, who pissed in their soy milk?
Oh, woe is me! Sex and the City is so... VAPID! Let's discuss the Gulag Archipelago instead!
The Andre Leon Talley/ Jay-Z connection was brilliant. Fuck the haters.
Deuces,
Miss Mo Green

@3 & 20: Monique, I love you to pieces, but I just can't get behind SATC, for many of the reasons listed by Chelsea. Not that I don't like crazy-expensive shoes and girl-bonding, but half the bonding with friends is bitching about family-- and these women rarely if ever talk about theirs. I've seen the first few seasons, and have been press-ganged into seeing the movie later this month with friends, but on my own I'm unlikely to watch it over and over again (mostly because the theme song makes me want to put a power drill in both ears).

If you want to change my mind about it by giving me the complete box set, however, I'll give it another shot... but I have a hard time dealing with a show that wants to be both "real" and a "fantasy" or "fairy-tale" for women, and often ends up being neither. It is not a fantasy of mine to be a self-absorbed idiot with massive credit card debt who is un-pleasable and obsessed with a guy who repeatedly fucks me over. While that is a reality for many women, it's a reality I want no part of.

@ 36: Did you just put SATC in the same sentance as Six Feet Under? Really?

SATC couldn't hold SFU's fucking jockstrap.

Someone delete that comment, jsut for the sheer stupidity of it!

Chelsea, you're in for a world of hurt when you put down a TV program that obese chicks watch so they can fantasize about being the thin chicks that are getting laid on said program.

Also, do you call Mr. Talley -- who has written more eloquent notes to the milkman than you have ever mustered on your blog -- "Jay-Z" because all blacks look alike?

Blargggghhh....

Can you post a picture of yourself (preferably in a swimsuit or naked), so that Slog commentors can write things like "FATASS" all over it with magic marker?

That's how hazing works, right? At least that's how it worked in the made-for-tv movies about sorority hazing tragedies that I watched when I was a teen.

Perhaps on Slog it just involves people calling you vapid and useless.

If you're going to have an inane guest blogger, then get the Queen: Rajkhet Dirzhud-Rashid from the SGN...

Yes! Oh please, yes!

And Chelsea, using a few swear words and calling the women on SatC bitches won't be enough to placate this crowd.

It'll be interesting to see what happens if she manages to tough it out for the entire month. Will something soothe Mr. Poe's savage breast, or will Chelsea be subject to the same bile day after day?

@44

I don't remember giving you permission to use my name, you silly cunt.

uh-uh, no way is this Miss Thang gonna touch this shark-jumped pole without a kiss and a tickle from her soljah honey and dab of Autumn Mist Rouge I picked up when I sashayed past Sephora the past week on my way to some HAWT lovin' at the Wet Spot, mmmm-hmmmm...

This lustful one don't have time for Slog, and it don't have no time for ME!!!

Gotta go, my lovelies and pursue my favorite beauties at Mad Market!

Oh, god damn it, Slog's spam filter blocked me TWICE because I told Poe to take his X*n*x. God damn it.

You folks are on notice. Don't make me come over there and hit you. Chelse is OK because I say so.

I've only seen one episode of SATC, so I'm even less qualified to pontificate than she is, but considering that the whole time I was thinking "I hope she gets hit by a car in the next scene", and naively I actually thought it was possible, because there was NO WAY these were being presented as sympathetic characters, but I guess I was wrong. But it means that Chelse's analysis seems plausible to me.

You don't mind if I call you Chelse, do you?

And I'm with Comte @26. Shame on you guys (writers and editors of The Stranger). Is this Slog's version of ritual human sacrifice?

@45,

Spoken by the silliest cunt of them all.

@47 You, sir, are not the boss of me. So nyah, nyah, nyah. (Did I spell that right?)

@49

Said the silly, stupid, worthless, outspoken, easily-offended, sad, pathetic, nonsensical, putrid whorebitchslut cunt.

Chelsea, so far you have me thoroughly entertained. You have Fnarf defending you and
Mr. Poe on a roll with his moronic insults, you must be doing something right!

I think keshmeshi gave you some good advice!

@Fnarf:

I totally gave her a chance, but she posted crap she doesn't know about. Breaking Rule 1 on Slog.

Tons of peeps don't like SATC, and that is fine. But don't say you take issue with things that aren't in the series. Period.

I have never seen 6 feet under, and if I said "oh I dont get that show, all the kids getting raped" You all would be all over me about it. She is no exception.

So hopefully the next post will be better...Otherwise I fear for her sanity.

Chelsea - Welcome. In case you hadn't picked up on it yet, here's a little advice: Be sure to base what you do and how you feel off of blog comments.

PopTart, I AM the boss of you, and everyone else here. You are ALL my puppets, and you will do as you are told, or I will be VERY ANGRY. Very, VERY angry. If you all don't start being nice to Chelsea here, some pants are going to come down, and some bottoms spanked.

I agree with #53 this whole spectacle is beyond awesome!

ohmigod...this "Chelsea" person is TEARING US APART!!!!!

all part of dan and ecb's diabolical plan to break the Slogger's spirits and re-establish control of the Slog.

...some pants are going to come down, and some bottoms spanked.

What? You're going to reward them?

@51,

Oh right. You are all those things. Thanks for correcting me.

I love how people like to think that Slog is a serious news source. Yeah, they cover the presidential race (to death) and major events, but when you look at it closely (or even not so closely), everything is an editorial. I'm sorry you don't agree with Chelsea here, but since when is it a requirement for us to agree with other people's opinions?

And so what if she's talking about Sex and the City? I've read about much stupider things here on Slog: salt caramels, the search for the best bacon in town, David Beckham's underwear, Aushglitz (did I spell that right?)....but so what? This isn't the newspaper, this is a blog. Get over yourselves, guys. Have a chuckle already.

Oh, and @55 and everyone else who's annoyed that Chelsea doesn't know about the SATC series: she is writing about the movie, which she did see. And calm down already, it's just a TV show. These aren't your real friends and family.

@65 -- A little over earnest, aren't you?

I don't know what's more sad - blogging about a TV show or getting upset that someone blogged about TV show wrong.

Mr. Poe. Control yourself. Find something shiny -- coins, buttons, foil -- and be distracted by it until the feeling passes.

@63 -- I just put silver radiator paint all over my cock and have it hanging out the window...let's see if he shows up.

Hey! Who deleted the Mr. Poe v. Terry Miller comments? Who?

BTW get this woman off Slog STAT. Did anyone involved in this decision actually read her blog?

I found a quarter. I'm calm now.

On the other hand, there are now at least 66 posts on this thread and I think 61 on her other one, so she's driving us to post which means we're subconsciously viewing more of the ads while we do it, so she is already successful from the point of view of driving hits for ad revenue.

Jesus Mr. Poe! What kind of psycho are you that you would threaten another person, just for wishing you'd lay off all the negative comments?

That's the most idiotic thing I've read by you. Topping #2 on this very post.

Get a life. Or slit your wrists or something. But leave other people out of it. Slog isn't your personal pissing grounds. Believe it or not, others here dislike you just as much.

Mr. Poe : The ultimate troll.

The Jew can see it.

@65, 39

it's not the fact that she's writing about satc, it's that she wrote a post where she prooved she

a. is an idiot
b. has poor word usage
c. doesn't know what she's talking about

America demands an answer -- where are the Mr Poe/Terry comments WHAT IS BEING COVERED UP???

My personal theory -- Josh Feit has them in a secure mountain redoubt.

@69 -- You can see my silver weiner? Yikes -- I'm hoisting it back in right now, mon cher Juif.

Nothing to look at here, folks...move along...

I haven't made any threats here that weren't blind. And as you can see, I haven't made any threats here. You people take me way too seriously.

Who do you think?

Terry doesn't like Mr. Poe's contributions to Slog, and said so. Wish he hadn't. Mr. Poe threatens to reveal... whatever. Not cool. Deleted both. Play nice-ish, you douchebags.

For realz.

WTF with the commenters here. I know you are all Seattle hipsters who feel you're above everyone, but get over it. Portland's cooler than Seattle (so is Vancouver) and this blogger is cooler than you. You're just going to have to move on.

Fnarf, Poe and Savage are the only reason I ever read slog!

I am not a hipster. My mother and father abused me as a child and this is how I cope with my emotional instability and social insecurity. I was also raped up the ass by a kangaroo in '94. Please feel sorry for me.

@74, spoilsport. That was the most fun I had on Slog all day.

@ 76

chelsea is not cooler than anyone. just cause she got some lame hook up to contribute to the slog for a month doesn't automatically give her value. if you actually checked out her blog you would see that it was a total waste.

p.s. don't front. seattle rules and portland/vancouver are rad, but just not as much. besides, that remark was irrelevant since she already stated she's from seattle.

@ 76

chelsea is not cooler than anyone. just cause she got some lame hook up to contribute to the slog for a month doesn't automatically give her value. if you actually checked out her blog you would see that it was a total waste.

p.s. don't front. seattle rules and portland/vancouver are rad, but just not as much. besides, that remark was irrelevant since she already stated she's from seattle.

Today, Slog is waaaaay better than "The Hills"! So much DRAMA!! And all thanks to our newest cast member, "Chelsea"!

All this, and Dan handing out some Dick Slaps; helps make up for the shitty weather!

After just two posts, Chelsea Something-Something may just be the most successful poster in Slog history.

Rachael: geez slog is a warzone today!
me: hahahahahah poor chelsea!!!!!!!!
Rachael: poor keshimeshi
Rachael: ive never seen mr poe so harsh
Rachael: chelsea seems v. lame tho
me: yeah i know
me: a harmless kind of lame
me: mr poe is always so mean to every woman commentor
Rachael: usually pretty funny, never seen him be this mean
me: who's your least favorite slog commentor
me: mine is bellevue ave
Rachael: i miss ecce
Rachael: :(

Actually @67, there is generally only a single ad on each gutter of the comment frame, so after the first two or three posts, you don't see nuthin' at all.

However, yeah, general hit counts are spinning out of control here.

Still, in the "How many days before Chelsea/Chelse stops posting?" betting pool - I'm taking Friday, June 13th as her last day.

COMTE, i'd like a side pool on how many times a sexist slur is used against her.

I like Chelsea (though I love SATC.) But she appears to say "dudes" as much as I do, which is always a commendable trait.

But Chelsea, I don't mind a grammar flaw every now and then. It is blogging after all. But your blog TITLE? It really should be "Who did what to whom."

@ 68

she used sexist slurs against her own kind when she referred to the satc women as bitches.

Is it just me, or are there a lot of jealous ladies hating on our new friend here?

I love the lurkers so much.

@87 -- I was hoping someone would correct her grammar somewhere in this comment strand. Now all we need is for someone to compare Chelsea to Hitler and we will have covered all the bases.

She *so* needs to be voted off the island.

*feels sorry for Poe, as requested*

Also, @70: good job making a typo in your comment calling someone an idiot. You win!

I'm not sure she's getting past topic two. We're going to be liked that mother that drove the fourteen year old girl to suicide, if not careful.

I'm not certain whether its been mentioned or not (probably has): shouldn't her website be Who did what to whom?

Well, she had something to proove, and she's gone done and prooved it.

Poor Chelse now thinks we're all completely crackers.

@91, aw, I really do like her. And I normally don't pick on grammar or spelling, it's just that it's her blog TITLE. But it's true she's been waaaaaay picked on.

Sorry, Chelsea, I like you! I retract any and all criticism now.

@86:

I'm not sure we could find a sheet of paper big enough to fit all the squares...

Original Monique had it @53 - and even straight guys like me who watch SATC think the worst thing you can do is be defensive about your SLOG post.

Watch what annie does ... she doesn't take offense, even when we say things that should make her blood boil.

That said, still haven't seen SFU and hope SATC the movie is around after SIFF ...

You were so close to 100 comments I had to give it to you.

Grats Chelsea. You made the 100 club.

Chelsea, 100 comments on your first post, whee!

yeah! responses cursing your birth are better than no responses at all.

I still hate you.

Amen, Poe.

She got 100. Now can you kick her off?

I dont buy that the 100 milestone for a new slog contributor is unexpected.

Mr. Poe, I'm warning you. Chelsea and me are buds now.

It's been a long day. And I'm a victim.

@106 He's just saying that because he wants you to spank him as promised @55, oh so very long ago...

Listen: if SATC doesn't make you laugh, cry, and want to buy shoes, it's not for you and ragging on it will have virtually no traction with the people that love it. It is the same thing with most niche shows and movies, like Stargate.