??!! Hulk Smash Puny Slog, Part 5
posted by June 13 at 12:52 PMon
Did you know that the Incredible Hulk has his own hilarious blog? True story.
From Hulk’s Diary That Is On the Internet:
OH MAN HULK’S ATM CARD WAS STUCK IN THE ATM.
Hulk kept hitting the buttons and saying “Please let Hulk have his ATM card back because Hulk wants to go buy a Playstation 3 and play that Ultimate Alliance game Hulk is in with everyone, even the Punisher” but the machine was all like BEEP BOOP NO NO NO.
And Hulk tried to be nice and called the people at his bank and Hulk said “Hulk has money because Hulk just got a deposit and Hulk would like to get it!” and the bank’s answering machine said “Leave a message and we will get back to you as soon as possible” and Hulk was like “HULK JUST LEFT A MESSAGE WHY CAN’T YOU HEAR THAT?”
And that’s why Hulk now owes Bank of America $43,000 for two ATMs in the Union Square area.
Hello Hulk got this email and Hulk is wondering if he should help because Hulk needs some money and if Hulk had some money maybe Hulk wouldn’t have to go look at the stupid jobs section of the New York Post and Daily Bugle. No, Hulk does not want to work construction, thank you for asking. Hulk does not like to say things to girls that walk by and Hulk can’t whistle very well.
WITH DUE RESPACT DEAR FRIEND,MY TEL NUMBER 00226 78 02 43 42
IT IS MY WISH TO SOLICITE YOUR ASSISTANCE IN A BUSSINESSS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BE OF BENEFIT TO YOU AND I.
I CAME ACROSS SUM OF MONEY BELONGING TO A DECEASED CUSTOMER OF THE BANK, BANK OF AFRICA, ALHAJI DAHIRU J MUSA, A CITIZEN OFABIDJAN COTE’D’IVOIRE WHO DIED ON THE RECENT CRISES IN THAT COUNTRY. THE REBELS IN THE CITY OF BOAKERY BOMBED ALHAJI MUSA’RECIDENCE DURING ONE OF THEIR RAIDS.HE AND ALL THE MEMBERS OF HIS FAMILY WERE KILLED IN THAT BOMB INCIDENT.ALHAJI MUSA IS AN INTERNATIONAL BUSSINESS MAN AND A MAJOR SUPPLIER OF YAMAHA MACHINE PARTS IN THIS COUNTRY.
THE MONEY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT IS IN THE BANK TREASURY BOX WAITING FOR THE NEXT OF KIN BECAUSE THE DECEASED DIED SINCE TWO YEARS AGO AND LIVING NO OTHER CONTACT AS IN NEXT OF KIN IN HIS BANK FILE AND THE BANK LAW STIPULATES THAT ANY MONEY THAT STAYS IN THE BANK CUSTODY FOR OVER TWO YEARS WITHOUT WITHDRAWAL OR PAYMENT WILL BE CONFICICATED INTO THE BANK PRIVATE USE.
HE HAS AN ACCOUNT WITH THIS BANK WHICH HE USES TO FINANCE HIS BUSSINESS IN THIS CONTRY.This is my bank website in burkina faso. www.bkofafrica.net)The said amount was USD$1m.(one million united states dollars).
SO RIGHT NOW THAT IS THE AREA I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE TO ACT AS NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED MAN SO AS TO INHERITE THIS FUND FOR OUR OWN BENEFIT AND I AM HERE TO GUIDE U AND TO FUNISH YOU WITH ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION CONCERNING THE DECEASED MAN BANK ACCOUNT.
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSEDI SUGGEST YOU GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE STATING YOUR WISH IN THIS DEAL.
FROM MR MUSA SOBIBRA. MY ALTERNATIVE (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Do you think Hulk should take advantage of this offer? Hulk thinks Hulk could make money and not have to live off the “stipend” that The Avengers still pay Hulk because they are afraid Hulk will come over and raid the refrigerator and make Jarvis cook a turkey for Hulk again.
Hulk has never told you people how nice Jarvis is. Jarvis is very nice. He is the Avengers’ butler but he is not like “Jeeves” because he does not have a website called AskJarvis or anything like that but Hulk thinks he is better because Hulk doesn’t have to type on the computer to ask Jarvis things like “Why do rainbows make Hulk happy?” or “Can you please make some more Yorkshire pudding?”
Unfortunately, the man behind the Hulk’s blog, Kevin Church, has stopped writing about ol’ jade jaw’s life, but there are still plenty of entries on the site worth reading. Go there now. Or Hulk will smash puny humans.