Books Geek, Interrupted
posted by June 9 at 12:03 PM
onSo I wrote about Dungeons & Dragons in last week’s Constant Reader because the 4th Edition was coming out. I also said on Saturday that I would go to Worldwide D&D Day at Neumo’s and report back on how it was.
This is how it was: Wizards of the Coast rented out Neumo’s from 9 to 5 on Saturday so that anybody could come and play Dungeons & Dragons. I walked into Neumo’s, got a wristband, walked into the main room, and saw that Neumo’s was packed with hundreds of people at tables playing Dungeons & Dragons. There were men and women. There was a giant Beholder statue. There were bags of Doritos. Because of the Doritos smell, I had a flashback to those six or seven times I played Dungeons & Dragons as a teenager.
I immediately left Neumo’s and didn’t return.
Comments
Doritos smell would have sent me running, too.
Good for you, taking the opportunity to preserve your dignity like that.
C'mon Paul, what are you, maybe 30 years old? Some of those D&D people are obviously well over 50, still listening to Styx, playing D&D, eating dork food, the whole bit. You're way too young to give up the geek just yet.
Doritos sound like a good idea, but there is something wrong with their smell - especially after a couple of hours in a group that eats them and already doesn't have high standards of personal hygiene.
Oh Paul I am saddened! So very saddened. You should relish any event the brings out people that want to buy and read books. They are the same people keeping many writers and publishers in business.
/shakes head dissaprovingly
I got there and started playing before they wheeled in the snacks, so I was probably used to it by the time Paul arrived but honestly, Neumos' bathrooms smelled funkier than any of the chips. True, many of the stereotypes were on parade but you geek-phobic haters can suck it.
It was a blast to play D&D in the same spot where I'd seen Caribou and so many other great shows (all the way back to the original Moe's).
Oreo.
Dave @7 has the solution, I think. Oreo smell is inoffensive, and Oreos don't leave snackers' fingers caked in a disgusting orange powder that then smears onto all they touch.
Wuss.
Cool Ranch Dorito is one of my absolute least-favorite smells. I don't mind the taste (too much), but I can't handle the smell of those cool little bastards.
Quitter. I now curse you with a -2 to all charisma-based saving rolls that can only be lifted by retrieving the Staff of Demigorgon from the Hall of the Undertoad.
So Paul went to Neumo's to report on the D&D event. He couldnt' be bothered to actually do his job because of the smell of chips?! Why did The Stranger make him book reviewer?
Can we just not have Paul report on anything related to gaming, computers, comic books, or anything his delicate sensibilities might see as 'nerdy' or 'geeky' ever again?
In fact, how about you all just abandon these subjects, since you apparently cn't be bothered to give a shit about them anyway, and it always just comes off as bullshit condescension?
Or at least have Golob do it. I swear to god, sometimes I think he's the only person at your whole fucking paper that doesn't think he's just too cool for school.
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