Life Crush of Shame
posted by June 25 at 12:53 PMon
It’s common knowledge that attractive people are attractive. Much more interesting to me are the negligibly attractive—normal-looking-or-lower people who nevertheless produce spasms of lust in otherwise sane citizens.
Recently I quizzed a group of friends about their personal shame crushes—which, as I explained, couldn’t just be non-glamorous people, but must be those aggressively contrary to the common “sex symbol” ideal. (For example, Johnny Knoxville and Jean Enersen don’t qualify, Kid Rock and Jean Godden do. To find your true shame crush, you must dig deep. If your ego isn’t squirming, you’re not doing it right.)
My friends’ responses were as illuminating and upsetting as I’d hoped.
One sane young gay man expressed his bottomless lust for James Gandolfini.
Another sane 40-something straight man revealed his mysterious attraction to former Secretary of State of Florida Katherine Harris.
As for me, when it comes to shame crushes, I’m a Bruce Willis-in-1995/baseball-capped-shlub-from-the-inexplicable-syndicated-sitcom-Yes Dear kind of guy.
(Also, at least once, I’ve wondered what it would be like to kiss CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin on the lips.)
Please help further my understanding of humanity by sharing your shame crush in the comments.